... although that might also be to do with the pain.
I've had several anal fissures since I was 14. These used to come and go, (and weren't actually too painful) but when I was 18, skin tags started to form around the whole area. They were so big, sometimes I could feel them between my arse cheeks.
By the time I was 22 (last year), I'd had enough and got most of the excess flesh removed at hospital. After being assured the area would heal nicely within 3 weeks, I was looking forward to having a nice normal, non irritating anus.
It's now 5 months since the operation and I have been in agony every day. The thing is, the wounds from the skin tag removal have healed.
The actual reason for the pain is that I now have a huge anal fissure again, far bigger than anything I had before. And this time it's cronic.
2 weeks ago I was prescribed Rectogesic which is relieving the pain, sort of. I'm only using half the dose however, to avoid headaches.
I had a bowl movement 30 minutes ago but the pain was so intense I had to run back to my bedroom and I was writhing around in agony. Using the ointment again helped but I can still feel it throbbing.
And what I don't understand is that the softer the poo is, the more PAINFUL it is! It goes against everything I keep being told, but find that harder poo is nowhere near as painful to pass.
So I started searching on Google about this, and came across this forum. And started crying. Proper crying, because I can't believe there are so many people with the same sort of problems and I find it so incredibly comforting.
Thank you, whoever set up this forum. And everyone here, for making me realise that I'm not alone at all.

Hi stephanie..
You are most definitely NOT alone, I thought the same and felt isolated until I found this forum, you are in the best place for help and advice regarding your fissure, it's always good to talk with people that have the same condition (I always thought it was just me), the admin and boardies of this forum are really nice and supportive and will do their best to help and guide you in the right direction, anything can be discussed without the need to feel embarrassed.
and good luck!

Welcome, Stephanie!

Hey Stephanie, welcome! It's unfortunate that you had to find us if you know what I mean :) but you're definitely not alone. There was actually a poll a while ago about whether hard or soft poops were more painful -- I think the consensus overall was hard poops, but there were definitely some who voted for soft.
For me personally, hard poops are a nightmare, and soft poops are much more tolerable, but watery poops don't feel good either. Watery ones irritate the fissure and seldom come alone
Since you mentioned Rectogesic, that must mean you're somewhere over the pond, either UK or Australia maybe? What else have you been doing to fight the fissure? The folks here have been through just about every remedy imaginable so if you let us know what you've done already, maybe someone can suggest something that you haven't yet considered.

Awwwweee, Stefi - I am sooo sorry you have to go through so much pain , but I am happy you found this place since "we will fix you " any way we can !!! Please be aware that MOST members are not active any more because guess what - they healed and left !!!! So, even though we miss them dearly - we are happy that so many are now free from any butt problems !!!!
I hope it will give you some hope and strength to know that fact - that almost EVERYBODY healed sooner or later.
Now - I would guess you are from UK LOL, since "asre" was used - very cute ; ) !!!
So, yeah - looking forward for your posts : ))) !!!!

Greetings Stephanie and welcome from a fellow Brit (I assume?!) on this board.
I also used Rectogesic for the 8 weeks my CRS recommended. My story is one of good and bad news. The good, I no longer cry after each BM. When I found this forum I was in so much pain I coudn't walk up and down the stairs at my house. I think I cried too when I found this forum, I was so grateful not to be alone in this agony! Truly an awful time.
The not so great news I'm sorry to say is that my fissure has not completely gone. It's getting there and through careful diet I can control it. BUT I believe it will get better, its just going to take a bit more time.
I officially *heart* this forum. It's given me so much advice and support my GP could / would never give me. Plus, most importantly its somewhere I can talk to people about the fissure that no one could ever understand the pain, unless you've been through it.
Good luck on the road to recovery.

Hello again, and thank you all for your replies. All of your kind words make me feel so much better.
It's been 4 days now and I'm glad to say the pain has been much more tolerable thanks to the Rectogesic but the fissure is still going strong- it's like a gaping hole at one side!
@NeuropathicGuy - Yep, I'm from the UK, can you still get Rectogesic in the US? Or is it just called something else? And yeah, I think it was kind of watery (sorry it's kinda gross to describe it as that lol). You've made me realise that a balance is what is best, just in the middle.
@RockBottom and NeuropathicGuy - I must admit that I haven't helped myself very much in terms of diet. After my operation I managed about 6 weeks of a very nicely controlled diet but then it all fell to pieces, I'm a bit of a cake and chocolate addict. When my rear end doesn't show much progress, it saps the motivation out of me so I end up going round in circles.
So, all I've really done is use Rectogesic. But thanks to this forum I feel that I'll be able to control myself better and keep that fibre in my diet, and stop the cake! Caaaake. :)
I hope you can heal completely very soon, RockBottom, (wish I could use your real name!) keep up the excellent diet.
Thank you also Fissulyna (I was pondering whether to use 'ass' or 'arse' :D ), cherylk and StevePain for your kind words. I'll now start posting in the relevant threads about my specific problems, and help people if I can.

Hey Stephanie,
Yep here in the States we don't have a specially made 0.2% nitroglycerin product like Rectogesic. We can get the same stuff but a compounding pharmacy has to make it by combining concentrated nitroglycerin with stuff like aloe vera oil.
Nitroglycerin (well any treatment really) takes a while to heal fissures. It doesn't work in all cases, but even when it does, it's on the order of weeks or months. When I started using it, I felt some improvement within days (the pain while pooping became more tolerable), but the fissure was definitely still there. In my case, I also took the stool softener Miralax (Movicol over in your part of the world) and that helped a lot too. But if you're already having loose stools then I don't know if you'd want to try that just yet. My problem was having hard poops so it was of great benefit to me.
I know what you mean about controlling your diet :) I was a huge McDonald's, fried food, and beer and soda addict before my fissure. Since then I've been eating veggie soup all the time with occasional forays into junk food land. I'm not a big chocolate or cake fan but I force myself to eat some these days so that I get more fat and calories in my diet. Those don't seem to bother my fissure too much -- I guess we're all different in what foods bother us.
Fissures take a very long time to heal, so definitely try to stick to a high fiber diet, though. I thought my fissure was healed on a couple of occasions and got loose with my diet, only to be rudely awakened after having a hard bowel movement. Be patient with it and hopefully yours will heal or at least become more manageable.

welcome stephanie.
wow you have been dealing with this for a long long time.
here is a great website for you since you are in the UK which may be some interesting reading and up to you if you want to try it.....diet wise, switching to a macrobiotic diet helped me get control of my almost four year madness and since 08, i have been done with my fissure although i do have a nice little friend left over, a skin tag turned hemmy who i call laverne and shirley. she does a number on me every now and then but nothing compared to the fissure.
www.macrobiotics.co.uk
you may have more luck in finding support to be macrobiotic there.....
enjoy! and good luck in resolving your arse challenges!

Hi Stephanie,
I'm from UK too.
I found that Lactulose worked well for me, it takes a little fine tuning to get the dosage just right. its an osmotic laxative like movicol/miralax so drink water with it.
I also took something called Lepicol, this contains psyllium husks. Its a lot like drinking bird seed in water but it seemed to help me.
The BM I used to dread was in the evening as the agony and pulsing would continue for hours and mean a sleepless night for me.
Since my minor procedure I have been absolutely pain free and back on to a normal diet. However my weight has shot up due to eating 'normally'.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel and although I found this forum quite late the members really helped me out this mess.