I’ve started to suffer with a lot of anxiety now and I think this whole thing is really making me depressed. I feel like I can’t cope with this anymore.

Two years ago I embarked on losing weight and went from 328 to 155. I didn’t want to be unhealthy and not live my life to the fullest as I saw myself shy away from my social life and pretty much everything else.

Now this whole mess .... and I’m in agony every day and I’m more isolated than ever before. I can’t go out with friends. Used to go out for brunch every Saturday with my partner. We use to go to family events. Now I’m just in too much pain to be there.

I think I’m going to speak with my GP to get something for the anxiety because I don’t think I can cope without it. My partner does not understand why this is so hard. He has never experienced this and if I’m being honest about the situation, I think he’s making it worse because he’s been callous on a couple of occasions and said the reason I’m in pain is because I haven’t taken any ibuprofen ( when I’m using Diclofenac suppository) and he doesn’t understand that despite taking pain meds like Tramadol I’m still in pain. He thinks this is my fault and I must be doing something wrong to be in pain every day - despite doing everything I’ve been told to do medically and with my diet.

So the issue with him acting like a bit of a tit isn’t helping the fact that I am already completely miserable.

I regularly go through these forums and read what other people have tried. I finally tracked down a Superdrug with Emla cream in stock. I figured why not . I’ve just gotten home with it and put it on my aching rear end. So far it’s calmed the pain. I had a BM this morning at 5am so it’s been a few hours. Normally I’m in pain for the entire day. Im hoping it calms things enough that I can go to work. I feel even lower when I’m at home by myself.

Hey P, you must hang in there and use your mind to control your anxiety and pain. I am not saying it is easy but you must try. Visualize your fissure tissue being rebuild by the blood circulating the area. You must relax otherwise your sphincter will be very tight and prevent blood from flooding the area. It is a vicious circle but you can break it!
Do you manage to have soft stools every single time? Forget about what some doctors claim that you need bulky stools to stretch the muscle - someone in so much pain like you doesn;t have the luxury to use such methods. You must have loose stools every single time for a few weeks. By loose I mean Type 5 on bristol scale. Once the pain is gone you can slowly go back to a Type 4, but it will take months.
Also, are you sure this pain is from fissures and not a fistula God forbid? You need a good CRS looking over you, someone who cares and understands what you are going trhough.

Be strong! Do not stop trying. You will prevail this horrible situation - you have many examples of people here that made it trhough.

Good advice from Abu. My husband is very good but still gets a bit fed up about it all. I find painkillers make no difference on my pain levels although I have not been prescribed strong ones just over the counter.
Wine takes the edge off better.

I am slowly getting better and you will too but this condition is very painful, very private and with many setbacks. Again agree with Abu anything that can relax that area be it warm baths, meditation, hot water bottles that will aid healing.
There are many good tips and helpful posts on this forum, I find it a lifesaver personally.

Abu wrote:Hey P, you must hang in there and use your mind to control your anxiety and pain. I am not saying it is easy but you must try. Visualize your fissure tissue being rebuild by the blood circulating the area. You must relax otherwise your sphincter will be very tight and prevent blood from flooding the area. It is a vicious circle but you can break it!
Do you manage to have soft stools every single time? Forget about what some doctors claim that you need bulky stools to stretch the muscle - someone in so much pain like you doesn;t have the luxury to use such methods. You must have loose stools every single time for a few weeks. By loose I mean Type 5 on bristol scale. Once the pain is gone you can slowly go back to a Type 4, but it will take months.
Also, are you sure this pain is from fissures and not a fistula God forbid? You need a good CRS looking over you, someone who cares and understands what you are going trhough.

Be strong! Do not stop trying. You will prevail this horrible situation - you have many examples of people here that made it trhough.

Hi Abu,

Thank you for your kind words. I have very soft movements, with the swelling I have sometimes it’s still a struggle to pass without having to push, but not strain.

I’ve had a colonoscopy and they didn’t find fistula, but my next appointment with my CRS is Monday and if I don’t get some answers then i will be insisting on another one / second opinion.

I’m ok today. I have pain even with no BM , but not as bad. So we will see what tomorrow brings.

I am using EMLA cream now so that will be a test in the morning how effective it is.

- Pherianne

Good luck P, I am happy to hear you feel better today. Let us know what the CRS has to say.

It's frustrating now it can go up and down in pain levels isn't it. I had a blissful weekend of zero pain only for it to start up Monday for no apparent reason. So annoying.
Keep us posted on what the crs says.
Also what is emla cream not heard of it.? Thanks

SueMac wrote:It's frustrating now it can go up and down in pain levels isn't it. I had a blissful weekend of zero pain only for it to start up Monday for no apparent reason. So annoying.
Keep us posted on what the crs says.
Also what is emla cream not heard of it.? Thanks

Hi Sue,
EMLA cream is lidocaine and prilocain. It numbs skin.

thanks Pherianne! sounds good does it help and was it prescription?

SueMac wrote:thanks Pherianne! sounds good does it help and was it prescription?

Hi Sue,

Yes and no. It dulls pain, but not spasm

It’s sold online and in Boots, Superdrug . I’m UK based.

Thanks for info