The reality sinks in...

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The reality sinks in...

Postby Guest » 07 Aug 2007, 16:37

I must confess it's a bit scary, even reading this site which looks wonderful for support, but it made me shudder about what I may be in for with this AF. I guess many of the people who come back most regularly are the ones who suffer worst, so there may be a selection bias. Still: the reality is that I suffer from this and that I have to find a way through.
I'm starting to create a regime that suits me now. I work 9-5:30 and so far have been ok there. I try to do my BM in the evening so that I have recovery time. I've upped my water intake, am eating wholemeal everything, decaf coffee with soy milk, museli for breakfast, eat plenty of fruit and veg. Meds wise, I use the steroid / painkiller ointment my GP prescribed - don't want to use that for more than a week though which means stopping tomorrow. I read that Vagisil can help - a "woman's" product that contains benzocaine. (Currently I am using a syringe to squirt a few cc of K-Y jelly into my rectum to ease the passage). I am taking one Dulcolax before bedtime to help things along. It's not so easy to get a hot bath though - my kids usually hog all the hot water.
Talking of kids, I'm finding that quite tough. They're too young to understand why I hurt, and I'm sure they'd probably laugh if I told them. The little angels don't know what they are doing when they run up to me at great speed and collide with my crotch - the involuntary retraction aggravates Jack (I've just decided to call my AF that, and should point out that this is a reference to a nasty individual in my family and not the very helpful gent who put together a related website :D). I am in varying levels of discomfort and often it is hard to be as engaged with my children (who want me to jump, run around etc etc), and indeed with other people. I'd be interested to hear how other people's afflictions affected their close relationships.
I'm determined not to let this condition define me though. I play drums in a band in my spare time and I really would hate having to give this up (the regime has shoved them out of the way the past while though :( ) Any other musicians here?
I also intend to have a short family holiday at the end of the month with friends in Germany. What are people's experiences of going away? What do you take?
Guest
 

Re: The reality sinks in...

Postby Guest » 08 Aug 2007, 10:39

Hey Jules,
I can understand what you are going through. It is hard with kids when you are going through a painful situation. My kids know that I have problems with my bottom and seem to understand that I can't sit like other mommies do and maybe drive around as much either. But there are other things we can do together that doesn't require a lot of energy or compromising the rear.
This will not last forever so you need to keep that in mind. You may not get to do all th things you want to do now but things will get back to normal.
I find if you stay on your schedule as much as possible and eat the same things you know are tired and true and take a little bit extra stool softener, traveling can be done. You may want to take a cushion with the middle part cut out if you can to try to keep your rear from touching the surface.
You regimen sounds fine to me. I use KY jelly and have at times used one benzocaine or lidocaine to help numb the area. You could try a hot washcloth on the area and keep unfolding it as it cools as you apply it. I think you do need to try to work out something with your family so you can get a bath in after you go.
That is great you can go in the evening so at least you will be in bed anyway recuperating at night. That must be such a blessing.
Take care,
Lecia
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Re: The reality sinks in...

Postby juney » 08 Aug 2007, 11:49

you're lucky you have your BM's at night! sleeping after going would be so much less painful than sitting on an office chair all day. i tend to go around 830, just after i've gotten to work, so i have the whole day to think about it and be in pain. i don't know how to change my body's schedule though.
as for my close relationships, i just turned 25 and don't have kids. however, my relationship with my boyfriend has suffered in that i NEVER want to have sex because of this thing. even the slightest touch makes me tense up and causes pain in the fissure area. my bf has been so supportive over the last 8 months, but it has definitely taken its toll on our intimate relationship. it is very frustrating, as well, to not have any energy or desire to see friends after a long day of pain in my bottom. when i get home all i want to do is lay on the couch.
the biggest thing i've learned in the past few months since my unsuccessful surgery, is that attitude is EVERYTHING. you can either let the fissure control you or you can control it. i find that when i'm doing things i enjoy, even though there is still pain, i think about it much less and it seems to hurt much less.
juney
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