Bum_UK you have had a very long journey by the sounds of it. It's good you managed to deal with things pretty well from 2007-2010. DI you think stress is linked to it all? I find when I'm stressed I have more and more bms and that's when I think I do the damage no matter how soft they are. Like you I have taken fiber gel, used it for years as was told it would help and it had mabeverine in for bowl spasms. But like you say it just makes bms bulky but still soft. The cream you have been prescribed for your hems iv used on and off for years. It dose help to shrink them and make things less painfull after a few weeks use so good luck with that. Iv also had my hems injected twice which worked wonders but on the second lot of injections I would told I'd not be allowed it again and it would be banding. The last lot of banding was 2009 I believe and I had just managed with the cream until now. I had a camara examinton on 14th April and was told theu saw no hems. Just the fissure. So definitely try the cream and see how you get on, I know you said your tight there but did the cream come with a little nozle with holes in for you to insert then squeeze the tune gently? I found that really easy to use then just made sure I sat or laido down after as so minimal came back out of back passage. That may work for you. Hems are miserable I can not imagine having both fissure and Hems at same time so I really feel for you. Seems that the private health care you have is brilliant. I keep wanting to look into it. I did think that whole wait from Dec to April I would bit just couldn't afford. My discomfort at the moment is that horrible pulling feeling. Some days I ake for hours on end and others just a few hours. I think it depends on what iv eaten and what the BM is like. I think the fissure is trying to heal all the time you get so far then have an awful bm that makes things awful again. Sorry again if it's hard to read what iv written.

Yes, I think stress has something to do with it as well. I had numerous psychosomatic symptoms before I was signed off sick. They're under control now as long as I don't think about work or go into my home office. The mind body connection is intriguing.

It's good to know that the Proctosedyl cream worked for you. The cream did come with a nozzle but I'm not sure whether I'll manage to get that one inside either as it's very tight. I might try tonight. The walk in centre GP told me to use it for ten days. Did you have protruding internal hems too? I do hope they shrink and go back inside again. I saw something called the HemAway seat but it's only available in the US or I'd have ordered one.

It's encouraging that they didn't see any hems when they checked you on the 14th. Do you take a stool softener like Movicol? I don't remember if I've asked already so apologies if I repeat myself.

The drawback with Bupa and other private health care providers is that they won't cover any pre-existing conditions. They're also pretty expensive. I pay just over £100 per month but I can afford it and think it's worth it given the problems with the NHS. I also like that you can chose your consultant rather than just be given one. This is the first time I'll actually use it and I've had it for ten years now.

I hope you're having an okay day today. I attempted to get the referral letter today but the GP surgery was closed and Boots didn't have any Laxido in stock. I'll try again tomorrow.