I completely understand how you feel. The few days that I've felt good in the past few weeks have been great, but I've been so down the other days that it's hard to do anything. I just want to take a baseball bat and smash everything around me. And my wife is getting tired of me joking about jumping out the window.
It's funny how dreary the world (and future) looks when there is no end in sight to the pain, but on the good days everything is rainbows. What I'm dealing with right now is probably just a minor setback, but it still hard to take. Those of us who've been dealing with this a long time just have a hard time tolerating much more. I guess we just need to lower our expectations, quit expecting to get better soon, and just enjoy it when it eventually happens. As my wife says, "it is what it is."

Steve,
I'm back home now and will be able to speak with Dwight next week. I think the mental/emotional suffering is often worse than the physical suffering that goes with an AF. Only people that have an AF would probably agree with that. Those that have never had a butt problem, don't really understand how an AF can wreck havoc with one's life and and how much one can suffer from an AF. I still think all medical residents (especially CRS and GI docs to be) should have to personally experience what the pain and suffering from an AF is really like.

thank you cheryl (and dwight) for all your prayers and healing vibes.

William wrote:It's funny how dreary the world (and future) looks when there is no end in sight to the pain, but on the good days everything is rainbows. What I'm dealing with right now is probably just a minor setback, but it still hard to take. Those of us who've been dealing with this a long time just have a hard time tolerating much more. I guess we just need to lower our expectations, quit expecting to get better soon, and just enjoy it when it eventually happens

Hey william, this is so true, I'm just glad that this place exists so we can air our feelings together, it seems me and you are having similar experiences down there, it's good to know that you are not alone!

cheryl, I hope you enjoyed your trip, though I'm glad your back :)
Can you tell Dwight that I am very grateful for any prayers!

Sympathizing with you Steve (and William). I'll send some healing thoughts your way. It is so hard when you are in pain and you don't know what exactly to expect the next day. Doubly hard when you had the hope of LIS, and so far it hasn't met your expectations. Wish I could wave a magic wand for you...
Well, unload all you need to here - you know we can sympathize all too well!!
Do you have any possibility of paying for a private CRS? Did you have faith in the CRS who did your LIS? I know that here in Sweden we have no chance to choose or refuse our surgeon - whoever is there shows up on surgery day and that's it.

I don't know if it helps, and you might already know about it (having been on the forum for awhile now), but when I was looking back through some old posts, I saw the mention of several people who went through more than 1 LIS...
juney, nancyfezz, KerrBear (and Fissy)
Depending on your mental state, it might help to look at their old posts...

Bumbutt wrote:Do you have any possibility of paying for a private CRS? Did you have faith in the CRS who did your LIS? I know that here in Sweden we have no chance to choose or refuse our surgeon - whoever is there shows up on surgery day and that's it.

It would cost a fortune to pay privately, the prices are ridiculously high.
The CRS that did my surgery seemed quite confident about the procedure but who knows?
In the UK we also have no choice on the surgeon, it's the NHS and we get whoever is available on the day, if we could choose then no doubt I'd of been very picky.

Yeah I've read Juney's story which is truly horrendous, at her age and all the pain and surgeries is just so awful. The prospect of more than 1 LIS is frightening in itself, but it's certainly not uncommon to require another, it depends how conservative the surgeon was when he cut down there.

Steve,
Juney's story scared the hell out of me before and after LIS.
Just awful:(
I think the fissurectomy caused most of your pain. It's just crazy the differences in our recoveries. I still have faith that you may heal without another LIS.