my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

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my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby rosiebottom » 07 Dec 2011, 08:09

Hi, I'm new to this website and wish I'd found it when my AF was first diagnosed 18 months ago. That was a nightmare time as I was off work for about 4 weeks in EXCRUCIATING pain and GPs not taking me seriously. Anyway, thankfully, my AF seemed to get better and by drinking lots of water each day has been manageable since then. Unfortunately, a week ago I had a Gynae. op. which seems to have brought the AF back :( . I think what aggravated it was having my front 'bits' disinfected and the stuff they used having run down my bottom cheeks. The evening after the op, my bottom itched like mad and I stupidly scratched it (through the bed sheets I hasten to add!). This plus having then become constipated due to the morphine and other opiate-based painkillers I was prescribed, has made my AF flare up again. I am feeling SO low as for the past few days I have tried everything to help it heal but nothing seems to be working. I am no longer constipated thanks to a glycerine suppository (once) and 2 sachets of Movicol daily. However, the pain when I pass a BM, have wind or when I am just sitting or standing is, at times, unbearable. I literally scream when I'm on the loo. Even passing urine hurts as it seems to run back onto the fissure. I am off work for another 10 days but dread how I will cope if it does not clear up once I am back at work. I am using Rectogesic several times a day, lidocaine and Sudocrem before I do a BM. I am also trying to have a sitz bath at least once a day. I will try the aloe vera gel suggested asap. It feels like the AF this time will never clear up and I am feeling desperate. I don't feel like eating (although am making myself), am drinking 5 large glasses of water every day and also a small glass of prune juice. I am wondering whether I should reduce the Movicol to just one sachet daily as getting the 'right' consistency of a BM is difficult. Please can anyone give me any other ideas/encouragement? Thank you.
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby Deleted User 579 » 07 Dec 2011, 16:15

Hi Rosiebottom - I'm so sorry you are suffering! Everything you describe is so familiar! I know how you are feeling. Image Fissures are just evil, and nobody can understand the pain and the psychological stress they cause unless they've experienced it. I really feel for you!
I wish I could give you advice, but it really sounds like you are doing everything right. The Movicol, the water, and so on. I guess the only things I would suggest would be to maybe try more than one sitz bath a day, and maybe not just sitz baths, but actual soaking baths. The idea is to let the hot/warm water stimulate blood flow, which promotes healing. I also found taking a muscle relaxant (like Robaxacet) helped take the edge off the pain.
Basically it sounds like you are doing everything right. You are using Rectogesic already, so if there's any chance that this fissure can be beaten, you've really increased the odds by getting on top of that quickly. That said, sometimes there's just no helping it, and surgery (or botox) might be in the cards for you. If surgery does look like your option, try not to worry. The LIS has given many of us our lives back (me included), and there are lots of posts and people here who can offer some advice and support.
Hang in there! Fissures can be beaten, the pain doesn't have to be forever, and you can get your life back!
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby rosiebottom » 08 Dec 2011, 06:06

Thanks for your reply 'hopetoheal', although I'm a bit freaked out by your statement that I may be on the road to surgery! I thought that having had the fissure heal in the past, that it would do so again? I've just had two lots of gynae. surgery within a few months so can't bear the thought of another operation. In any case, if I take more time off work for this I'll probably lose my job!! Feeling even more low now! :(
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby Deleted User 579 » 08 Dec 2011, 09:13

Oh no Rosiebottom! I'm so sorry I made you feel worse. That wasn't my intention.
I am sorry to say anything to make you feel bad, but I feel you deserve to get an honest opinion (others may disagree with what I say, so please take all this with the appropriate grain of salt). I feel I should warn you that, unfortunately, it's not uncommon for fissures to come back even after they are healed, especially if the problem is high sphincter tone and/or spasms. Having healed in the past does not always mean that you will heal with conservative measures again. In fact, it's just this kind of nasty behaviour of fissures that can make coping with them psychologically debilitating after a while - the good days, bad days, highs and lows that fissures can put us through for months and even years can be almost as bad as the pain itself after a while. Often, once the fissure is chronic (i.e., older than 6 weeks to one month), it is really hard to heal it with conservative treatments. Many boardies here struggled for years with fissures that would heal and then retear before they finally decided to have surgery - and going through that takes a real toll on one's psychological health. I'm sorry, hon. I really don't want to depress you. I just want to arm you with knowledge so that you can prepare yourself to beat this demon.
That said, it is certainly possible that you can heal this fissure with conservative treatments. It has been done. I completely understand that you wouldn't want to face another surgery after what you've been through (I've had gyn operations too, and they are not fun at all!). Most surgeons don't recommend surgery right away - they prefer that patients try conservative methods (like ointments) for a while before considering surgery. So you have time to work on healing with conservative measures. I do think, however, that when you are ready, you might reflect the possibility of a surgical option down the road. It may not come to that, but if it does, it's good to get psychologically prepared. This forum is a wonderful place for that. I was absolutely terrified when I first got here, but the people here really helped me deal with the pain, stress, and anxiety I was suffering, and this forum really helped me make the decision that was right for me. Surgery might not be right for you, but this is a great place to find that out.
Please don't feel too low. You are not alone. Many of us have gone through what you are going through and we understand how hard it is. We are here to support you, whatever you decide. Many of us arrived here very freaked out, but there are options and there is hope. Image
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby rosiebottom » 08 Dec 2011, 09:42

I'm sure you mean well but don't find your comments encouraging or helpful and so have decided to leave the forum.
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby Guest » 08 Dec 2011, 16:34

Rosebottom,
We all know where you are coming from and have been there. The last thing I wanted to hear when I came to this forum was the words surgery or botox, Lol. As a matter of fact, I think my first post was " any success without surgery." I think two people responded who had healed their fissures conservatively and I was ecstatic!
Hope meant no harm and didn't mean to discourage you. She only meant surgery is an option and you won't have to just live with a fissure forever if conservative methods don't work. I know that may be the last thing you would ever want to do and scary as hell. We've all been there!! But Hope and I had success with our LIS's and are here trying to support others who are fearful and say it really was a good choice for us and it could be for others too if all other avenues fail.
I hope you are able to heal your fissure conservatively!! We all are here to support and to tell our experiences and to share what did and didn't work for us.
Sorry you feel the need to leave, and totally understand how sensitive a fissure can make one, but we all have the best of intentions and volunteer our time to others as we have been there too. Image
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby val » 09 Dec 2011, 12:51

Rose,
I was totally freaked out by surgery too, but also had LIS. I'm sure you'd like someone to wave a magic wand and make it better - as we all do - but that ain't gonna happen!
Hope was giving an honest account of her experience, which is what the forum is for - people in the same boat who are there for you because they know what you are going through.
Would you rather she had lied and gave you false hope??
Hopefully, your fissure WILL heal with conservative methods, but in truth, the longer one has a fissure for, the less chance there is of it healing by itself.
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby Davo » 10 Dec 2011, 04:56

Oh my god - I feel sad reading this!
I understand that everyone is here for help and encouragement and I know that hopetoheal was just trying to be honest and open without giving any false hope but i also felt the same when i first joined.
I myself have only had my fissure around two months and it was only diagnosed five weeks ago. When i first started posting people immediately told me to go for surgery and forget about non-surgical options such as creams and lotions. I guess thats not really what i wanted to hear at such an early stage of having my fissure - If i had been suffering for maybe 5 or 6 months then my circumstances maybe different.
I read posts from people who have been suffering for 10-12 months and even years and at first i thought oh my god this thing is going to plague me forever, then i realised that the people who have recovered no longer come on this board (As they have no need to).
So I would just maybe like to say to the poor people who have been suffering a bit longer than others to tread a bit carefully when it comes newcomers - maybe try and give some encouragement and support saying they have a great chance of healing without surgery if they follow a strict regime. After all GTN (Nitro) has a 70% success rate and that includes chronic sufferers.
Maybe i am an eternal optimisst!!!!
Have a good weekend everybody!!!
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby wecc » 10 Dec 2011, 07:49

Here is a fact; I have had my AF for about a year or so. Here is another fact, it has healed a several times, but I just keep re-tearing. When I first got an AF, my pain was at a 10 out of 10. It took over my life, I could not work, or travel and worst of all, I could not do all the things with the kids that I wanted to. Then I went to a CRS and he put me on Nif and we worked on a plan on taking care of this baby. Did it get better…yes it did. I went from a 10 to 2-3. However with that said, this will not heal 100% and it still in some regard rules my life.
Look I can bury my head in the sand and say “it could get better” The fact is, at some point you have to face the fact that you might and I say might have to go to the next step. It is what it is. My CRS, who is one of the top Doctors in the New York area, said that if you kept tearing and this is ongoing, there is a 90% chance it will go away with drugs. I am not going for a LIS; I am going for a new form of Anal Dilatation. Regardless, I am doing something. Do I wish this did not happen…you bet. Was I hoping and praying it would heal on its own, you better believe it! But it did not and seems it will not. I for one would much rather hear the fact, see what’s happening with others that had the same problem and then make my decision based on what I researched and have reviewed. All I can say is this form has be INVAUABLE for me and I am sure others
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Re: my fissure has come back - feeling desperate. HELP!!

Postby Deleted User 579 » 10 Dec 2011, 08:01

Hi Davo - thanks for sharing your experience. It's really helpful to get the perspective of someone relatively new. I'd just like to point a few things out:
First, if you read my posts, I certainly did not tell Rosiebottom to get surgery. I only said that surgery might be an option eventually, and if it comes to that, please try to not worry too much, it has helped many people. If you read my posts again, perhaps you can let me know how I might have said that more gently, and how I might have been more encouraging.
Second, while I respect your suggestion to tell people they have a great chance of healing without surgery, I'm afraid I cannot always follow it. In this case, to tell somebody who has had a fissure for 18 months (over a year!) that they have a "great" chance of healing with ointments would be a flat out lie, and a potentially harmful one. There may be a chance, but it is quite a slim one. (You'll notice, though, that I did say her fissure could be healed with conservative measures.)
I have seen what overly optimistic scenarios can do to people. Doctors tell us that we will heal in a week or two with diet and ointments, and when people don't, it really freaks them out - they worry that there is something more sinister wrong with them (do I have cancer? Do I have Crohns? Why am I not healing??). I've seen so many terrified posts from people who were given optimistic misinformation. Giving somebody an optimistic scenario might make that person feel better in the short term, but it can do a lot more harm than good too, and not just to the one person (there are lurkers who read posts too).
I agree that no newbie should have surgery foisted on them as soon as they arrive. But we really should be able to be honest and offer correct information - and at least be able to mention the word 'surgery'. I don't think allowing people's psychological fragility to dictate what we can say will be useful. A newbie's psycholgocal frailty is a good reason to be a gentle as possible, but it is not a good reason to actually lie.
Anyway, those are my thoughts.
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