Hello everyone.
Well, I'm having my surgery (fissurectomy) done tomorrow the 9th and I am freaking out. I have been nervous all week, but as the hours go by I feel myself almost having a breakdown just with the thoughts. I haven't talked to my wife all week, litterally, I've been feeling angry, and barely acknowledge my kids. I had been diagnosed with depression about 2 years ago and am feeling like I did before, I have not left my bedroom for more than an hour a day. I'm having trouble not going to work, the doctor took me off due to pain, bleeding, surgery, recovery. I keep thinking of the whole recovery process and the intense pain everyone keeps talking about. On Thursday I had my pre-op appointment, I had my blood work done and an EKG done. This thing has given me the hardest time in my life. I pray it goes away and I can be happy and think positively once again. I sound like a child, I know, I just can not control my emotions right now. Any advise would help. I needed to vent a little.

Please don't worry. I had my operation/procedure yesterday (which was fistulotomy/fissurectomy and botox). I felt extremely nervous, but the nurses are great. They are there to help you, I imagined the worst and to be honest I have not felt bad at all today. I have been through 3 surgeries in the past year and been petrified for all of them, but I controlled it better yesterday by thinking of the worst. I know it sounds silly, but I thought-what is the worst that could happen? Once I face this, nothing seemed to scare me. The worst that could happen is infection, if this is the case it can be sorted mostly through antibiotics or another relatively simple procedure. I know I didn't have the same as you are having but I am hoping this reassures you. Most important is following the procedure to keep clean and follow all instructions they give you. I did this and (touch wood!) haven't had any problems at all.
I don't think you are like a child at all. This condition has caused me to have depression last year which I have managed to come through, however I have had bad spells before where it has reoccurred. You will get through this, and I'm sure your quality of life will be improved. Thinking of you and hoping all goes well :)

Congratulations on your surgery tomorrow!
It's completely normal to be nervous and if anyone has gone through what all of us have gone through and NOT gotten depressed and angry at times, something is seriously wrong with THEM.
Please let us know how things go. We are here to support you in any way we can.