Hello,
I am new to this board, but NOT new to anal fissures unfortunately!!! I have truly read some heart-wrenching posts on here, that I could not identify with more or agree with more quite honestly!!! I am a 28 year old gay male, and I have been suffering with bowel problems all of my adult life. I have also had external anal fissures on and off throughout my adult life, among other various problems as well... I now have an INTERNAL anal fissure (non-painful), but because of this I recently had to have a colonoscopy, THD (transanal hemorrhoidal dearterialization), and an internal lateral sphincterotmy with Botox injected in, done to me actually!! All this was done in one fell swoop, and it has been almost two months (Sept 10, 2012) since the operation it's self actually. The first month was agonizing, but no where even near as bad as my hemorrhoidectomy I had a few years ago, which sent me to the hospital in the ambulance the very next day after having it. Because I had a HUGE bowel movement right the next day after the surgery and I collapsed to the floor and almost passed out because of the pain!!! :-( Anyway.... This time around the healing was going good, until I recently had a sexual encounter that got very aggressive or should I say the guy was VERY aggressive!!! Despite me pushing his hand away repeatedly, and telling him I just had surgery down there... He kept jamming his finger into my anus, trying to finger me basically... And the more I tried to take his hand/finger out of there, the further he would go in... and to make things worse he had long uncut sharp nails as well... So after I finally got him to stop, I ran to the bathroom to see if I was bleeding down there and of course I was!!! Up until this happened, my bleeding was just little specks on the toilet paper after I had a bowel movement. Now because of this terrible encounter I am back almost to square one! I have had 4 bowel movements since then, and each has made me bleed more and more! :-( The question or questions I have is, will I start to heal again?? How long will it take, and when will it ever be possible again for me to have anal sex once more???! I mainly had this surgery so that the bleeding would stop, so that I could have normal bowel movements, and so that I could eventually have sex again! My bowel movements have improved, but are not great either!! If anyone has any answers or intelligent responses to these question, I would REALLY appreciate it!!! I also hope I did not offend anyone with the somewhat sexual nature/content of this post, but I had to be honest in order to ask these questions... ya know?! Well I hope to hear from you guys soon. And thank you once again for *actually* taking the time to read this, it means sooo much to me.. It really does... !

Nakhti,
First of all, welcome to the board! These forums are really so wonderful for information and support.
I'm so sorry to read about all you've been struggling with and all you've been through and are still going through.
You had quite a bit done in September, which is not that long ago, and so the sexual encounter was likely more than the still healing area could handle. Given that the anal area has to be able to heal while still passing stool through the area, it can take longer for surgeries to heal than in other parts of the body. As difficult as it may be, it could be quite some time, if ever, that you will be able to have full anal sex again. You may heal up well enough eventually to engage in some type of anal sexual activity, but only time will tell. But it would be in your best interest to find other ways to engage in sexual activity for quite some time to give your body time to heal. Healing of wounds happens in stages over many months. While the discomfort may decline and even go away completely, the framework is still very fragile during the various stages of healing. Eventually, the body puts down scar tissue, which isn't as elastic as the original tissue was to begin with. This process happens in different timeframes for different people, but it can even take a year or two in some people.
Right now your best bet is to get your diet sorted and any stool softeners such as Colace or Miralax figured out to get your bowel movements as soft as possible and as easy to pass as possible with no straining at all. Keep the area clean and take sitz baths after bowel movements.
It would also be a good idea to go back to your surgeon and have it checked out to make sure everything looks ok and to check to see if you've got new fissures or hemorrhoids that may need to be addressed.
And finally, but equally, if not most important. A sexual partner who forces their way into an activity with you that you are not okay with and haven't consented to, and who persists even after you have told them no, is violating you. That is not okay. Are you being supported emotionally in sorting this through? Is this your regular partner you are in a relationship with? A sexual partner should not put their own wants and desires ahead of your consent and well being and hurt you in the process. The stress of something like this can definitely have an impact on your healing, especially because tension and stress are so often held in the anal area, and in your case it would epecially be so.
Please take good care of yourself in all ways, first and foremost, ok?
We're here with any tips we can come up with to help, and you don't have to worry about being graphic. We tell it like it is here.

Thank you very much for the reply back, and for the/your great sentiment. I REALLLLLY appreciate it!!! I hope what you said is not true about the anal sex thing, because I honestly don't feel like a complete man unless I can perform in that particular sexual way ya know?! I also have never really been great at healing, which is another unfortunate factor about me! Also, this was kind of like a one not stand type of thing... He is not my partner, even though now he wants to be! Not a chance in hell on my part after that terrible encounter quite honestly, and I am also about to start taking my colace or Miralax again as well. So not only will my stools be softer, but also so I can go in one feel swoop and not have to keep going back to the toilet every half hour or 10 mins to get the rest out like I have been doing lately!! :-P I have changed my diet as well, even though I don't really take baths though! Just showers, but I might have to consider that now... I also have not yet went back to see my surgeon for the post op appointment yet, because I have had to cancel twice on her now! Because she is 2 hours away from me, and it is not always easy to get there... But, I do have another scheduled appointment with her now on the 29th of this month, so hopefully she can give me some answers once I see her and hopefully I will be improved some by then as well (hopefully!!!) And yeah the sexual encounter was really bad, but luckily I got him off of me before it got worse!!! He was just very aggressive and much bigger than me unfortunately!!! I honestly just don't know why all this has to happen to me ya know?! What did I ever do to deserve ANYYY of this!??? I have been suffering from this since the summer of 2009, and I honestly can't even remember a time where I did not bleed down there after going to the bathroom... smh Does this ever get TRULY better, or are all of us with AF's just fooling ourselves!??? :roll:

It sounds like you're getting back on the right track for taking care of yourself, which is the most important thing. Try not to think too much right now about what may or may not be possible in the future. It's really hard to do that, I know, but really it's way better to just take things one step at a time and stay focused on what's best for you today. As far as sex or whether you will ever be completely free from vulnerability in the area, just try not to worry about all of that right now. Just do all you can to be caring to your body and let it do its healing.
It really would be best for you to make the trip to the surgeon to be looked at. It is really hard when you live that far away, but you've had a lot of procedures performed in the area and it's really important to do this for yourself.
And again, hard as it is, don't chase after the thoughts about why this happened to you. It won't lead you anywhere but deeper into frustration and even despair. What is is. Bodies get hurt and sometimes it's hard for them to get better. All we can do is our best to support and care for the body and give it healthy foods, healthy air, healthy thoughts, healthy care, healthy relationships, and hope for the best.
Wishing you relief and healing.
(and i'm glad to hear you've got yourself sorted on the partner issue... not always easy for people to do)

Thanx once again for all the great sentiment + advice, it is greatly appreciated!!! :) Even though I guess finding a "REAL" partner right now or anytime soon then, is out of the question huh?? :(
P. S. Question, has anyone on this board or anyone you know ever actually fully healed from an anal fissure before???!

Definitely, yes. The vast majority of people with fissures heal completely. The key is to be proactive when they are still in the acute phase and before they turn chronic (usually considered 6 to 8 weeks or so), when it becomes more difficult (but not impossible) to heal them without surgical intervention. It's actually a rarer scenario to have fissures that are resistant to the many different treatments available, though it does happen.
As far as the relationship, you could look at it as a time to just be open. Who knows, this could be a time for a deep relationship with someone where you build a foundation on other aspects of your mutual interests, etc., and discovering other ways of meaningful physical intimacy. On the other hand, maybe it's a time for you to have some time for yourself to nurture yourself and take care of yourself on your own.
Maybe just be open to whatever possibilities in whatever form?

Hmmmmm, well I have been single for 12 years now actually... Soo as you can probably surmise, I am sooo ready for a relationship like yesterday already!!! Lol Also, what is the success rate of chronic fissures actually healing??!

Statistics vary, and depend on the treatment undertaken for chronic fissures and also vary by individual...
Topicals including nifedipine, nitroglycerin, or diltiazem, along with diet changes, etc., are at about 50 to 60% success rate. Same percentage with Botox.
LIS and standardized anal dilation report success rates in the 90+% success range.

Anal dilation??

Yes, prior to LIS a procedure called Lord's Stretch was done to stretch the sphincter muscle. Unfortunately, because of the way the procedure was performed in an uncontrolled way, it carried with it a high risk of sphincter damage and anal incontinence. Doctors mostly abandoned the procedure in favor of LIS. However, back in the 1990s a surgeon who wanted to offer patients an alternative to LIS that would not carry the risks of LIS, including the pain of an incision, risk of infection, risk of fistula formation, innovated a new, controlled, standard way of performing dilation with success rates that equal LIS and without the risks associated with it. Unfortunately, the surgical community is slow to turn their way of doing things around, and currently there are only a handful of surgeons in New York, as well as one at the Cleveland Clinic, who performs it. We've had several members on the board who have had it performed with great success.
Basically, the anal canal is carefully and gradually stretched using increasing sized dilators while the patient is under anesthesia. The largest dilator, usually 35 to 40 mm, is left in place for 6 minutes.