[b]For a few days, I had my daily BM without any blood, but this morning, I think I started a new tear because this blast from the **** was at a different angle. Honest to God, I'm not doing anything different, I just don't understand how this keeps bleeding and then not bleeding...does anyone have any rational behind this?

One of the comparisons I heard about the healing process was when it is healing it's like tissue paper covering the AF. When there is no blood chances are its starting to heal and a thin layer is covering it, but because it is so thin it can easily retear with a BM or when wiping to hard. Not much help but it's the best explanation I heard through the years and the comparison to tissue paper makes sense

I have been squatting for a week or two and it seems to help and it eliminates the different angle problem.

GGKy1959 - yes I've wondered that too. Everytime there is no blood I feel I'm healing, and then there is this streak on the side of the stool...and feel like I'm back to square one with teh wound open. Frustration knows no end. Sorry I'm not helping you here. But just wanted you to know we're all going through the same. Sometimes there are no clear answers, just guess work, even with docs!

[b]Well, the pain and the blood are back....I do have to say I had 2 beautiful days of no pain and last night I stayed up all night crying myself to sleep because I couldn't get pass the pain of my nightly bm. I might as well face it, this thing is never going away....I might as well pull a chair and introduce myself to hell....so sad.

Don't give up!! While it is a pain in the @$$ (literally) keep trying to find a combination of things that work! Have u ever had surgery for it? Or has your CRS brought it up to you?

Mamalucia wrote:Don't give up!! While it is a pain in the @$$ (literally) keep trying to find a combination of things that work! Have u ever had surgery for it? Or has your CRS brought it up to you?

Yes, surgery has been suggested, I just don't have the means to have it. I have insurance, but with my deductible being so high, my surgeon wants 1/3 up front. So surgery is out. I want to go about this thing the right way, eat the proper foods, do the proper things, but the pain is just too much. And they won't give me pain meds, thats the frustrating part. Just drink water, eat fiber and take a OTC pill.

One trip to an urgent care or emergency room would get you the painkillers that u need. Just have to figure if the cost of the visit is worth it to you.

Mamalucia wrote:One trip to an urgent care or emergency room would get you the painkillers that u need. Just have to figure if the cost of the visit is worth it to you.

This is going to sound really shallow, but I have had more people look at my *** than I care to count, all doing so without one ounce of relief. Its humiliating, its embarrassing and frankly, I can't do it anymore. I switched doctors, so hopefully he'll be a bit more understanding than this last guy.

I understand...not shallow at all. It's a rather humiliating place to have people poking around. I agree that hopefully this new Dr. Is a better fit.