Hello to all good people of this forum.
First of all I want to say thanks to anyone who will decide to read this and maybe try and reassure me.
Right now I am a mess. I am afraid to eat, I am afraid to go to the toilet, can not sleep normally and can not execute everyday functions.

Here is my problem:
I am 27 year old generally healthy male with severe anxiety related to my health condition. I will confess that I also have problem with maintaining my stool normal. It is usually harder and bigger than I would wanted.

All my sorrows began last December when i ate to much bread based products and had to really strain during my BM. It was painful and the stool was shockingly big even for me. That was the first time I noticed some blood on toilet paper. At that time I ignored it because I thought I tore something up. It was painful after all. After that this started to happen more often but together with enlarged hard stools, painful BM (sharp pains) and some discomfort afterwards.

The culmination came past Saturday morning when, after a night out with friends where I drank a bit too much, i woke up with urgent need to relief myself. This time the pain was tremendous. Stool, although not very big but still hard, felt very dry so I had to push it out instead of it usually dropping out. The sharp pain was very intense. After wiping i think i felt the biggest horror in my life. The amount of blood on paper scared me to death. After first wipe there was more blood than actual faeces and also there was a small amount of blood in the toilet on a small portion of the stool. I also felt some discomfort couple hours after BM (some burning and small amount of pain in anal region). Same thing happened on the next day only maybe with less pain and blood. But there still was blood in toilet and the paper.
I felt so scared but it was a weekend and there was not much I can do except wait for Monday. But as any "smart" individual I started to google my symptoms. The results broke me down and threw my anxiety trough the roof.

First thing on Monday I went to the doctor telling its an emergency. Doctor did examine me but did it in a hurry because I skipped the line. Straight away doctor told me that he sees a tear in my inner part of my anal region. He also did examination with a finger and did not find anything abnormal. I felt no pain durring examination although i had as doctor said an anal tear. Can it be? Do they become painful only when something comes out of me?

Anyway he prescribed some ointment and told me to buy something that resembles small wax candle (sorry English is not my native language so I do not know the correct name) that I have to put in my rectum before sleep and after i wake up. Everything would be good, but doctor asked me to come back 3 weeks later because he wants to do a procedure when he will insert some tube with camera on it to inspect deeper in to my rectum. That again scared the flowers out of me and in this situation I just took my prescriptions and went out not asking why this procedure is necessary.

On the way home I also bought some stool softener. Doctor did tell me I need to work on my BM to make it softer.
The medicine worked great. After couple of hours when first "candle" was used I had to go to the toilet with big fears. Although my stools still where hard (not big this time), I did not feel any pain this time and there where no blood.
Today my MB was much softer because of stool softener but gain no pain and blood during the process.

Still my anxiety does not let me go. Is this normal for anal tear bleeding and pain vanish so quickly? Can my medications just hide the symptoms of something serious like polyps or that 5 letter word I do not even want to mention? And why the doctor wants to preform the procedure on me even if the cause of my horrors is visible? Can there be something more? Or am I just overreacting?

These are the symptoms i experienced: bright red blood on toilet paper and a bit in toilet accompanied with usually hard and big stools. Sharp pain during BM with some discomfort afterwards.

Anyway thanks again to anyone who got to this part. I know my fears may sound silly, but hopefully anyone with anxiety problems will understand me.

I will appreciate any answers or comments.
Thanks again,
Midwinter

Hi midwinter!

Sorry to hear of your pain and anxiety. This condition, in such a delecate area, is a huge trigger for anxiety. You are certainly not alone there.
Your symptoms sound very much like those of a fissure. Bright red blood and sharp pain after a large stool sounds like you have a tear.
Try not to let your worries escalate. A fissure, though excruciating is not serious. Try to keep your stools soft, drink plenty of fluids, maybe a soak in the bath after a bm cut out junk foods.... And hopefully your symptoms will start to settle down.

OMB x