Hi everyone,
This is my first post since august I believe. In case you want to hear my story you can find it under diaries.
I'm still dealing with my fissure. Next month will mark a year (I think) since I first tore. I had botox in August that really seemed to cause me a lot of pain. The doctor agreed with me that it most likely didn't work. That being said, things did settle down over a months time and I think I was pain free for about 6 weeks, sticking to a clean diet and drinking Miralax each night, along with some calcium magnesium supplement.
The past couple of weeks I have definitely had some irritation happening, off and on. Things feel a little sore down there when I wipe and I have been getting some spasms here and there. I don't think I have re-torn because it's been months since I've seen any blood.
My doctor flat out told me that he doesn't think this will ever heal without surgery and that the skin will not ever be the same. He recommends I stay on Miralax for the rest of my life.
I think today it started to hit me. I really would like to have a second child and I feel like my life is on hold. I already know I can have a c sections, but I really don't want to be taking Miralax while I'm pregnant. I just don't feel good about it. I don't even feel good about taking it now, and I'm not nursing anymore.
I'm really scared to go through a pregnancy with a fissure. And I don't want to go through surgery before having a second baby. I feel like I'm stuck.
I don't know if I'm looking for advice or empathy. I'm just clueless. I know it is in God's hands and there's no better place for it.
Thanks for listening! I really hope everyone is on their way to recovering.