I'm not sure how to work this new forum....but here I am! I hope I can find support from others who suffer like me! I have been dealing with an anal fissure for twenty years when I was first diagnosed. When I have a flare up....it has always healed itself after several months. Last spring, I experienced another flare up and this time, it will not heal. I have tried everything! I was scheduled to have a fissurectomy and Botox two days ago and I canceled out of pure fear! This morning....I sit here in pain....the agony lasts all morning and well into the late afternoon. It is a daily pain.....I take Advil every single day.....a prescribed compound ointment which I need help inserting into my rectum every single day.....it is not working! It is so mortifying.....it is so degrading. I'm losing hope!! I'm so tired of crying! I just can't imagine going through the surgery only to find the post-op pain is worse than the pre-op pain.......I worry about every bowel movement! Will I have a bowel movement at work? At night then lay awake in pain? It is starting to control my life. My family is tired of witnessing my pain... the last time I went to the GI.....I walked out with a script for Ativan....I did not fill it! I tried explaining to him that it is the PAIN that causes anxiety.....not ANXIETY causing pain......now....I'm asking myself if this really is all in my head and I'm creating my own torment! Please, if anyone would kindly talk with me.....I would be forever endebted!! Thank you in advance and I hope I can figure out how to find possible replies!
Kathy