by Philber » 23 Aug 2010, 18:47
Many of us have gone through exactly what you are going through, and it is very difficult to be optimistic when you are literally sick with worry.
It is not anything you have done or not done that has caused your fissure. While you may be able to do some things to help your fissure, you should not for one minute feel guilty about what you may have done or not done. We all do the best we can, and we all slip up along the way. Every one of us. You just keep doing the best you can and hope for a really good outcome. This is not your fault, for sure.
As for the relaxation part, it's not complicated or difficult. Just find something that relaxes you, and make sure it has a permanent place in your calendar. It might be going for a walk, or a swim, or reading, or doing yoga, or whatever. Anything that relaxes you will have a positive effect.
If you get spasms in your anal sphincter, then you know what they feel like. Many of us get them when we have BMs, or afterwards, and they are painful for many of us. If you have ever been peeing, and your body shuts down the stream of pee by contracting a muscle, that's the anal sphincter in spasm. The next time you are soaking in a tub, just think about avoiding that feeling. See if you can control it as much as possible. Any progress is great, because the anal sphincter is an involuntary muscle, so you're not supposed to be able to control it at all. But if you practice, and think about relaxing that muscle, it is possible to exert some control over it. And if you can prevent the sphincter from going into spasm, you are helping your fissure heal.
Finally, even if you end up having to have surgery, take it from me it is not the end of the world. If I had to choose between having the surgery again and my old twice daily regimen of diltiazem, sitz baths, Tucks, carrying a stool with me and the worry and anxiety, I would choose the surgery in a minute. No contest. Yes, the surgery sucks, and it hurts, but four weeks out and I am starting to forget what it felt like to have fissure pain. I have no anxiety about BMs or planning activities in the morning or away from the house, I don't travel with Tucks, spare underwear and a portable stool anymore, and I don't have to plan my days around possible BM and fissure nightmares. So, by all means, do everything you can to avoid the surgery. Most people heal without the surgery, and a good thing too. But, if you do have to have the surgery, you get it done, and in a few weeks it's over. That's not so bad, I can honestly say.