Healed?? Too good to be true??

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Healed?? Too good to be true??

Postby petrichor » 07 Aug 2018, 17:10

Okay so, the doc said today he didn't see anything. I'm in shock.

Back story: I first got my fissure in 2014. Went to a CRS once, and he said to first try fiber, Miralax, etc. This took my symptoms away so I never went back for another visit. However, over the next few years I kept either getting new fissures or getting recurrences of the original one (pretty sure it was the latter), but I was too scared to go to a doctor again (I have an anxiety disorder). I just kept going on the endless cycle of tear, heal, retear, etc.

This past June I had symptoms again and despite my anxiety disorder, I knew enough was enough. Messaged my PCP and she prescribed diltiazem and recommended going to a CRS since she didn't actually see my fissure. I used it for almost 2 months before getting the diltiazem rash. I went to the CRS today. I've moved since last time so this was a doctor who had never seen me before. He looked with a scope and said he didn't really see anything, just the irritation from the diltiazem. Told me I won't need surgery and to stop the diltiazem. I'm like... how can this be? I should be happy but I just don't believe it's true I guess. It's been years! Maybe the diltiazem was all I needed to finally heal. Or maybe it was gonna do that anyway. The weirdest part is, when I asked if he saw any scar tissue he said no. It's been almost 4 years! The majority of that time with no medication other than supplements! How??

I do feel little "twinges" every so often when I'm stressed. I think I felt it within the past few weeks. Is this possible even if it's healed?

I just have this feeling that I'm not really ot of the woods yet. It came back before, it will again. Unless I really really get this anxiety under control (it's the reason I keep getting constipated every couple months)

Does anyone else here have an anxiety disorder? I already do counseling and take two medications. Idk what else is left ...??
Diltiazem
Metamucil capsules (easier than the gross orange drink!)
Miralax
Culturelle probiotics
Managing anxiety - therapy, Zoloft, Xanax for the really hard days
petrichor
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