Dwarfs8, I am sorry to hear about your loss in April.
I think my fissure came after a long line of stress. I had a horrible experience on the teaching course I was on, as a result lost all my confidence, pulled out of interviews and didn't get a job. Managed to get a job in a school as a teaching assistant 5 months later and ended up working with a teacher who put me down all the time, which wrecked any confidence I had. This caused IBS. 5 months later had to take a load of 11 year olds swimming every day for 2 weeks which was a nightmare!! 2 weeks later I got my gynae problems and a fissure. I know this sounds crazy but I look on getting a fissure as a positive thing now because 1) I have met some people in hospital who have had terminal illness and found them genuinely inspiring. 2) I have got a new perspective on my life, and realise how little things used to bother me don't matter anymore.
I prioritise my health and myself a bit more, doing whats best for me and not always rushing round after others. I have stood up for myself and people have respected me more for it, and I am proud I have done it. Plus it has forced me to face some things which have been under the surface for a long time. I am learning to change my life and deal with things more. Long overdue some may say!!! I still have times where I'm stressed but these are less now.
Obviously I don't want to have a fissure anymore, but feel better in myself and thats half the battle. Hope this doesn't sound too corny or cheesy!! Don't give up Jenny! You will get it sorted out, if it is IBS I know how bad that can be. I was in agony for 5 weeks with it, until the medication etc kicked in and its not until a year later and changing my diet has almost eliminated my symptoms :D