My butt status determines the "mood of the day" and everybody in the house
already know that- if Mom is crabby - she did not have a good time in the bathroom
! If she is on the verge of crying - she hated the look of her AH and is in some discomfort. If she is sarcastic - her butt looks great but has some burning present. And so forth - so yeah- my mood is measured in special units called "butts" . One butt equals a good day, two butts some discomfort, 3 butts AH is not "pretty, .....5 butts - run for cover 
