Oh noooo Hun...I work in a bail hostel and know how on point you need to be in that kind of work.
Try not to be too hard on yourself you put in time and effort to try and heal your fissure and you probably have come very close but if your resting pressure is high then nothing apart from Botox or LIS will help.
Trust me I actually had hallucinations as I had gone that long without sleep due to never ending spasms ( I now understand why it’s used as a form of torture). I looked so I’ll my hair started to fall out and I lost 8 stone in just under 18 months. Fissures truly are up there at the top of life changing pain. I have friends on a support group who have had anal cancer and now have fissures due to the treatment and they say the fissure pain is just the most unbearable feeling.
Good luck on your shift and hopefully your doc will speed things through for you.
Are you in America or the UK?