Botox Diary (failed) and LIS Diary (in progress 7/17/20)

Botox diary for anal fissure

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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Allthepain2 » 11 Dec 2019, 23:50

Thanks for posting your story. I have a very similar procedure coming up in about a month and I'm terrified. My doctor is going to use Botox, remove scar tissue, a skin tag, and a hemmorhoid. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified of the impending pain. I have a non-healing fissure that I've had for 2.5 years, but I'm generally pain free as long as I take Miralax everyday. I'm getting the procedure so that it might actually heal and I can eventually stop taking Miralax (I've been using it for over a year).

It's good to hear that you seem to be doing better now. I hope this is the final fix for you!
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Nitroglycerin » 12 Dec 2019, 07:00

Allthepain2, just as you’re not gonna lie, I’m not gonna lie - the recovery is incredibly painful. You’re going to be out of commission for days afterwards.

But, the idea of being done with this thing forever is worth it. I’m finally st a point where I feel like I can see what my life is going to be like in the very near future instead of living every day one day at a time worried if today is going to be a good day or a bad day.
Âge 41
Mar 2019: AF diagnosed
Mar-Nov 2019: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
Aug 2019: Total weight loss 60 pounds, diet and exercise
Nov 2019: Botox
Dec 2019-July 2020: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
July 2020: LIS
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Nitroglycerin » 12 Dec 2019, 07:13

Day 15: I’ve had a really good week. I’m back to work and traveling, staying in hotels.

I was very anxious about returning to work because I fly a lot and spend about 100 nights a year in hotels. The nature of my job has me all over the place and delivering presentations to and sitting in meetings with my customers and my teams (I lead a large team of about 100 people at work). Basically, not showing up due to pain is not an option and I have to put on my game face even if my pain is an 8 of 10.

Beginning Monday (Day 12), I began having days that were 100% completely pain free immediately after the morning BM.

I no longer have to shower after my BM, I can actually wipe with real toilet paper. I still do hop in the shower though out of habit and because it is still soothing afterwards, but it’s not out of necessity.

I also no longer require a sitz bath after the BM.

I do still have some pain during the morning BM. I also am still applying nitroglycerin when I wake up in the morning to get things really loose down there and it helps a lot.

The pain during BM is not bad, and I believe it’s actually an internal hemorrhoid and not my fissure - the pain intensifies just before the stool breaks through the internal sphincter and then dissipates - there’s not feeling of glass sliding down my rectum any more and I have no spasms at all.

After my BM, I’m happy to report that I am 100% pain free all day, unless I’m sitting for more than two hours (and this unfortunately happens a lot because I’m driving and flying all over the US regularly).

I’m short, after two weeks, I’m actually able to envision a life where my days are not ruled by this tiny little cut in my butt.
Âge 41
Mar 2019: AF diagnosed
Mar-Nov 2019: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
Aug 2019: Total weight loss 60 pounds, diet and exercise
Nov 2019: Botox
Dec 2019-July 2020: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
July 2020: LIS
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Nitroglycerin » 14 Dec 2019, 10:16

Day 17: Continued improvement. Zero pain during morning BM, but past three days have had residual soreness afterwards, severity and duration of the soreness seems to have to rhyme or reason.

I continue to apply nitroglycerin before and after BM just in case. I’m frightened to change up anything in my routine even though I’m a bit worried that I’m overdoing it on fiber and stool softeners. The “cow patty” pop consistency has been my go to for a long time but I’m afraid that now the bulk of it and resulting pressure breaking through my internal sphincter might be causing inflammation resulting in my achy butt.

I’m going to continue in the same way until after my follow up doctor appointment in two weeks. I want to hear him say that the AF is healing before I even consider changing anything in my routine, though I know it is.
Âge 41
Mar 2019: AF diagnosed
Mar-Nov 2019: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
Aug 2019: Total weight loss 60 pounds, diet and exercise
Nov 2019: Botox
Dec 2019-July 2020: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
July 2020: LIS
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Nitroglycerin » 16 Dec 2019, 23:08

Day 19: Still experiencing pain-free BMs but followed by a sore bum for anywhere from 30 mins to a few hours. Seems to be exasperated by sitting, so I try to keep moving as much as possible.

I remain cautiously optimistic that I’m on the path to healing.

Diet still very strict, religious application of nitroglycerin before and after morning BM; no sitz baths required anymore, no shower after BM, just normal TP (hooray!!!). Taking three stool softeners every night and four tsps of acacia fiber every day.

All in all, my fissure seems to be healing.
Âge 41
Mar 2019: AF diagnosed
Mar-Nov 2019: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
Aug 2019: Total weight loss 60 pounds, diet and exercise
Nov 2019: Botox
Dec 2019-July 2020: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
July 2020: LIS
Nitroglycerin
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Nitroglycerin » 23 Dec 2019, 14:45

Day 25: Still pain free BMs which is an incredible blessing. However, I am still experiencing pain from my fissure area beginning about 30 mins afterwards. It dissipates in anywhere from 15 mins to three hours and is treated easily by ibuprofen.

Some days are worse than others; but in general my quality of life and day to day outlook are still dramatically improved. I’m trying to stay focused on my recovery in terms of weeks and not days but some days it’s really hard to not feel defeated and worry that I’m just postponing the inevitable - LIS.

I’ve been having a fair amount of itching lately and my doctor recommended “calmoseptine” cream.

This cream is sold generically as a “Moisture Barrier” ointment. It is 0.44% menthol, 20.6% zinc oxide (basically diaper rash ointment with extra menthol cooling goodness) and calamine, glycerin white petrolatum and lanolin. It’s like a minty Vaseline that cools and numbs your butthole.

This stuff is a game changer for irritation - I highly recommend it. I just got it today and applied it after morning BM and it provided instant relief to my sore bum. Tomorrow I plan to apply generously before my morning BM to see if it helps even more.

I have my one month follow up appointment next week; generally feeling good about it but a bit nervous for the true test of whether the doctor says the fissure is healing or not. If it’s not, I will be aggressively moving to schedule LIS surgery as soon as I possibly can.

Hope everyone has a happy holiday!!
Âge 41
Mar 2019: AF diagnosed
Mar-Nov 2019: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
Aug 2019: Total weight loss 60 pounds, diet and exercise
Nov 2019: Botox
Dec 2019-July 2020: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
July 2020: LIS
Nitroglycerin
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Nitroglycerin » 13 Jan 2020, 07:15

Day 47: Things continue to improve.

I had a week with zero pain. No pain during or after BMs and no pain throughout the day with diligent water and fiber consumption and nitroglycerin application before and after BMs.

Then, last week, a hemorrhoid appeared. It’s almost comical at this point. So now I have no fissure pain, but instead have a hemorrhoid that is very angry. I’m afraid to apply hemorrhoid medicine since it’s generally a vasoconstrictor- the opposite of what we need to treat a healing fissure. So for now, it’s back to sitz baths and calmoseptine directly to the hemorrhoid.

My doctor says things look good and if I’m feeling relief he is optimistic. I continue to measure my recovery in weeks and not I days and I’m cautiously optimistic that this fissure is going to heal soon.
Âge 41
Mar 2019: AF diagnosed
Mar-Nov 2019: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
Aug 2019: Total weight loss 60 pounds, diet and exercise
Nov 2019: Botox
Dec 2019-July 2020: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
July 2020: LIS
Nitroglycerin
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Coconutoil » 18 Jun 2020, 01:48

Hi curious how you’re feeling now 5 months later. Did you need the lis and do you still use the nitroglycerin or calmoseptine? I’ve been using the nitroglycerin morning and night and just recently thought I felt better and didn’t need it now I’m feeling pain again. I also just got the calmoseptine in the mail but haven’t applied it since it’s says creates a barrier. Wasn’t sure if I needed that. Hope all is well. Thanks!
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Nitroglycerin » 20 Jun 2020, 09:21

Hi! It’s been an up and down journey. At this point, my fissure has returned and I’m tired of dealing with it.

Luckily, I could manage this for the rest of my life with Nitroglycerin applied daily under controlled circumstances.

Unfortunately, life isn’t a controlled circumstance - there are trips in the car, hot sweaty summers, overnight plane flights, camping trips, places with disgusting bathrooms and four hour long work meetings where I cannot get up and leave to go put ointment on my butt.

I am so tired of dealing with the fissure - so I have my sphincterotomy and fissurectomy scheduled for July 17.

This isn’t the outcome I wanted, but I tried everything I could to avoid it - and at this point, I’ve been dealing with this fissure daily for fifteen months. I’m over it and willing to risk a small chance of permanent incontinence if it means I won’t have to live with this pain in the butt forever.

Unfortunately, for me, Botox didn’t cure me in the long run - but I thankfully could afford to give it a try - and how lucky am I to have had the option?

Best of luck with your healing!!!
Âge 41
Mar 2019: AF diagnosed
Mar-Nov 2019: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
Aug 2019: Total weight loss 60 pounds, diet and exercise
Nov 2019: Botox
Dec 2019-July 2020: Nitroglycerin(GTN) and Nifedipine
July 2020: LIS
Nitroglycerin
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Re: Thank You - had Botox today - Botox diary

Postby Coconutoil » 20 Jun 2020, 15:46

I totally understand! I’m almost at 6 months now of pain from a fissure. I just recently had the first good week in awhile and then now pain again. The location of pain is so inconsistent so it makes things so frustrating. Regardless of my strict diet and regimen. I’m excited to follow your journey with the surgery by chance that’s my only option soon for me.
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