In the last week or so, i've undergone a proctoscopy and a sigmoidoscopy. The only concerns that came out were a small low fistula at the 6 o clock position (sub mucosa)and a fissure which i think started it all. The enema before the sigmoidoscopy was weird. First experience so maybe thats why i was so discomforted. The sigmoidoscopy was not painful but just weird. Twice, during the test i felt uncomfortable pressure in the lower front abdomen and significant bladder pressure. Overall, not terrible. :D
I'm not in much pain due to the fistula but yeah it sure is disconcerting with the pus discharge. The perianal hematoma swelling that i had after the fissure trauma is very very small now so not sure whether the doc will also do an LIS AND fistula surgery (something i'll confirm with him today). The fistula surgery will be on the 14th. Dear God, plz dont make me have a repeat surgery for any complications!!!I went to about 3 doctors in total. Thre is one who is one of the most renowned in Sout Asia but he's got the manners of an ass and he's a very poor communicator. In the three days that i met him, i could speak to him for abt 30 secs in total while his assistants did the tests (very quickly so that the 150 patients could be accommodated who were waiting to be seen ).
The one i'm going to and who'll do the surgery is maybe not as well known but specialized in colorectal surgery and is an associate professor at the only medical university here (Bangladesh). I found him polite, sober and understanding and he's taken the time to answer any questions that i've had. Am i ready for surgery? I think i have to be...if i want my life to get back to normal. This obsession with every BM, fear of any pain that may start, checking for blood in stool, checking to see if the FORM of stool is ok, taking bulk laxatives (like ispagula) or MOM...well they drive me crazy. I used to smoke maybe 3-5 cigarettes per day but over the past couple of months its gone up to abt 10-12 cuz of tension! This HAS to stop. I guess, what im saying is if i live i want to TRY and live well! :)

Good luck Arafat! I felt the same way before my surgery. There just comes a point when we have to take charge and do something. Like you I felt like my health would be effected in other areas other than my butt if I didn't get my surgery.
You're doing the right thing:)

Thanks Dawn! I do feel i'm ready now...surgery date has been set for the 14th (Saturday) sometime in the evening. I'm supposed to get admitted in the afternoon the same day and hopefully will be discharged the next day morning or afternoon. I asked my CRS abt whether he also would do anything abt my perianal hematoma even tho its really small now and he said he would decide on that when he started the surgery.
I plan to take it easy for the next few days before surgery and hope that no panic buttons are pressed during this time! I visited the clinic where i'm supposed to have the surgery and liked it. Has a very residential feel to it with a lot of smiling assistants around:)

God be with you Arafat plz follow the doc's orders and keep us posted.. God give you and all us the healing needed

Hey Arafat! I'm so thrilled that you found such a good doc! That really makes such a difference to how well things go. You sure have been through a lot, but you are holding up incredibly well. I completely understand the pre-surgery anxiety. My smoking increased quite a bit too. :oops: I agree with Dawn that you are doing the right thing. It does get to a point where you just need to get your life back, and you will. Just three more sleeps now until you are on the road to healing and enjoying a great life!

Hey hopetoheal, thanks :) Anxiety levels are progressively rising, but i'm also optimistic about the future post surgery. Only thing that worries me right now is that the leave i've taken from school is abt 9 days. There is no substitute 'A' Level teacher for Law at school so i really cant afford to be off for too long. I had a frank discussion with my doc abt the possible discomfrt that i may feel once i did go back after 8-9 days. He said, i would definitely be able to go to work but that i wouldnt feel completely normal. He said going back to work after a week will not increase risks of infection but i should be a little careful while moving and not over exerting myself at work.
In the meantime, i'm getting prepared. I think i'm going to buy baby wipes and i've already gotten the dryer from my sister :D I just dont want the wound to be too big and i dont really want to see the wound either before i'm completely healed! Is that even possible???? Can i just thank u ppl here again for the support n encouragement....you've been simply AWESOME!

Just remember sweetie.. keep up the docs orders and the daily food regime that has been helping.. 3 days to go.. Keep us posted..

Thanks grannymaria! I plan to follow the diet i'm on right now. Hoping things go smoothly. Will keep u all posted:)

hopetoheal n others, I would be grateful if you could just go through the preparation that i've decided on after surgery.
After BM (whenever that happens!) i'll use the shower wand to clean and then dap with baby wipes/wet TPs. Will get into a SITZ batha nd then hop into a shower. Then i'll dap again with baby wipes and then use a dryer to make sure the place isnt wet. If there are days with no BM, then i'll just have 2-3 sitz baths and a shower and dry the same way. Will not use soap at least for the 1st few days. Is that all good? I've already got MOM which works well for me and also ispagula works well too! I''ll leave it to my surgeon regarding antibiotics, painkillers and other guidance.
Apologies if i'm being fussy but being planned in advance is something i prefer and it also somewhat relieves my nerves which are SHOT right now with surgery being so close! Im ashamed to say that i dont really have strong pain tolerance and nagging doubts abt so many things just keep creeping up...

hey Arafat! I'm so sorry I was AWOL for a while - my computer crashed and it took a while to get things sorted. :roll:
I completely understand how the anxiety levels go through the roof! Butt surgery is incredibly scary! It seems to me, thouth, that you are extremely well-prepared - way ahead of where I was. :D Your cleaning routine sounds very good, just remember to be patient. Cleaning can take a bit of time, so just remember to always be gentle with yourself and don't rush. Also, I found that soaking in the tub for about 20 minutes after BMs helped too, if sitting in a sitz bath is a bit uncomfortable for the first few days. I also never use soap on my butt, since I believe in keeping the nature ph balance in those areas; but everyone is different, so if your doc thinks that soap is alright, then you can certainly go with that. It's great that you already have a stool softener routine that works for you - that's a good head-start right there.
Try not to worry too much. So many people here have said that the post-op pain wasn't as bad as they expected, especially after the first few days. I'd say that after my fistula surgery, the pain wasn't any worse than a thrombosed hemmie, and even that pain diminished quite a bit after the first few days. Besides, you'll have painkillers and stool softeners, so don't be afraid to use them! Also, don't be shy about using the OTC pain meds either. As long as you take your stool softeners and eat easily digestible food, the painkillers shouldn't be a problem - and you'll likely only need them for the first few days anyway.
For me, post-op pain was much easier to handle than the fissure pain or the fistula for two reasons: first, the pain wasn't as severe; second, I knew that I was experiencing temporary, healing "pain" (or rather, discomfort). That is SO much easier to deal with psychologically than the pain from a problem that just won't go away!
Try to look forward to your surgery. I know that sounds odd - but think of it like this: soon you will be on the other side and healing instead of just coping. Think about the things you'll be able to do again when you are on the other side of this and on your way to getting better.