Been way too long!:(

Pain/Anxiety/Depression

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Been way too long!:(

Postby Sumomo8681 » 19 Dec 2015, 16:51

Hi,

To start off you can call me Sumo or Sumomo. It's a character from one of the anime's I watch. I am 29 years of age and sadly to say I still suffer from anal fissures. I have only told my parents and one friend of my situation. It's embarrassing and so painful. I have been suffering from anal fissures for almost 4 years now. I just wish they would go away. In June of 2014 I had surgery anal sphincterotomy or something like that sorry I am sure I butchered the name of that surgery.

Two nights ago was the worst experience of my life. First ER I went to told me they would do nothing for me unless someone on my emergency contacts list was present. My parents were 2 hrs away. So I told them to forget it that I would go somewhere parent e else. They had me removed by security. They said they were in violation last time when they treated me....

Second ER I went to I had to wait for my parents to arrive to take me because I couldn't drive. The pain was so intense I could barely move let alone I was having a hard time breathing. The ER doctor gave me some medicine through an IV but I had a reaction to it and I was starting to have an anxiety attack. I wanted to rip everything out of my arm unhook myself from everything and go home. I almost it and they sedated me. And sent me home with my parents.

I keep saying to myself I'm 29 years old I don't need anybody's help but apparently I do. That surgery did not do anything for me honestly it made it feel like it's worse. Well let me correct myself I was fine up until Thanksgiving and I hurt my back ever since I hurt my back has been hurting it has been ten times as bad.

Ever since I've been home I have not felt like myself. I can feel my heart beating in my chest. I have the shakes and I cannot control them.

A long time ago I was depressed and I feel like it's coming back. I have seen my primary care doctor and they suggest me seeing a surgeon again. I cannot afford the surgery yes I have insurance I have been out of work since Thanksgiving because of my back and my work is refusing to pay me right now. I have a lawyer involved but that does not mean that my check is in my hands right now And now I don't know how to afford rent. I'm afraid I'm going to be addicted and I'm scared. Yes my parents want to move in with them but that does not mean my roommate will not take me to court to get the money. And now I don't know how to afford rent. I'm afraid I'm going to be addicted and I'm scared. Yes my parents want to move in with them but that does not mean my roommate will not take me to court to get the money.

I guess the reason I am writing here on this form is because I don't know anybody else with my situation. And I want to just to get off my chest. I can't even have a normal life anymore can't even take somebody out on a date and be comfortable. And when they ask me if I'm all right I say I am fine or I'll make up an excuse saying my back really hurts is all when it's not even that.
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Re: Been way too long!:(

Postby Savaici » 20 Dec 2015, 21:31

Sorry for what you are going through. I don't really understand why they could not treat you and what is meant by your contacts list. Maybe you should make an appointment with a CRS and just pay for it yourself. Also, if you are depressed, I hope you can talk to someone about this or at least to your parents. :smilyhug:
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Re: Been way too long!:(

Postby Sumomo8681 » 20 Dec 2015, 21:39

Savaici wrote:Sorry for what you are going through. I don't really understand why they could not treat you and what is meant by your contacts list. Maybe you should make an appointment with a CRS and just pay for it yourself. Also, if you are depressed, I hope you can talk to someone about this or at least to your parents. :smilyhug:



Thank you for your kind words. I would love to pay for it myself but I have no money. I'm in more debt than usual. I would love to find people to talk to but it doesn't work for me. It's just something I have always had to work through on my own.
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Re: Been way too long!:(

Postby Savaici » 21 Dec 2015, 03:37

You say that you have had surgery once, Sumomo. When you went to the second ER, did they examine you and say anything about that? The reason I ask that is that the intensity of your pain sounds like it may possibility be an abscess or a thrombosed hemorrhoid, both extremely painful. Could you describe the pain, when it happens, etc?

Also, if you are in pain from back ache, you need to get that sorted, and the only way to do that is to be easy with yourself for as long as it takes. You say you have a lawyer working on your case so hopefully that can be sorted, and that you get paid time off.

You talk about being addicted, that you are worried about this. Are you taking something for the pain, and is that what you mean by this?

Sorry about all the questions, but need to get a better idea of what's going on! And, by the way, :wel: to the forum. Can't promise that we can help, but we'll try as much as we can. And this is a safe place to rant as much as you like. We have either been where you are or have known someone who has. :affraid: :bouncer:
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