Thank you so much for your detailed account of your surgery experience! You have no idea how much I appreciate it. : ) It sounds like you were in awesome hands. I pray to God I have the same compassionate care you did and an anesthesiologist as awesome as yours was. It would really calm my nerves and help me get through the process. I think I will ask for the happy juice (I'm thinking it's Versed, which is much more powerful than Valium) when I get my IV hooked up, though, just in case since I'm so prone to panic attacks and fainting. I really want something to calm me down right away and make me not give a care.

Was it scary being on your belly like that? Or do you not remember much? I don't know why that part freaks me out. Hopefully I will be so drugged up I don't care then, though. I just don't like being in such a vulnerable position like that and wish they'd put me in it when I'm fully out and just lie me on my back instead.

Did you get a fissurectomy, too, or just the LIS done?

How much Colace and Miralax do you take a day post-op? Do you take any fiber supplements, too?

I'm so happy your first BM went well! I dream for the day when I don't have any more twinges of intense pain or spasming all day after my BMs. It's awful!

I wish you well and hope your recovery continues to go smoothly. Thanks so much again for posting this. : ) It really helps me to know exactly what is going to happen so my fear won't be as bad. I'm sure it will help others that will be going through the same surgery, too. : )

I hope you have a really good experience too, Luka! They are out there. I have had bad hospital/doctor experiences and equally have had awesome experiences too. My labor and delivery experience was just as compassionate and caring, and so was 9 months of prenatal appointments, so there are tons of doctors and nurses out there just waiting to take tremendous care of us. I do understand your fear, so very much!

Being on my belly did not freak me out too much, but thinking about it freaks me out, and I think the difference between thinking about it and doing it is simply the drugs. The shot he gave me at first really, really made me chill. I was still completely aware but I just did not mind. I don't know exactly what drug it was, but it was amazing. When they asked me to roll over onto the bed, they were all kind and preoccupied with other things and no one was touching me. By the time he gave me the second shot which made the lights go out, I only vaguely recall a cool feeling on my butt cheeks which I could totally be dreaming about, because the next thing that happened, they were calling my name in recovery and I was thinking "man, when are they gonna do the surgery (still thought I needed to go to sleep and have it because I was so out of it)." You are right, it is a vulnerable position, but it was also very comfy and not stressful. I had an appendectomy a few years ago and I remember freaking out and grabbing a nurses hand who was waiting to help with the surgery before they put me out simply because I had to lay on a really uncomfortable table on my back under those terrifying lights they use for surgery, and THAT felt way more scary than this. Drugs are AMAZING. You won't mind a bit once you have them.

I just had the LIS done and my doctor said she always does a very conservative cut so none of her patients ever have incontinent issues and rarely have a tough recovery. I've noticed that to be true for myself. I don't even struggle to control gas after this surgery!

I am taking one capful of miralax and one colace pill per day so far and that's where I am trying to figure it all out... I don't feel like it's enough and may increase to two capfuls of miralax as colace has not been doing the job lately and I've read wonderful things about miralax. I used to take fiber supplements (citrucil powder) but for me, personally, they bulked up my stool and dried it out so bad I would get "stuck" trying to pass them. I played around with the amount of powder a lot and the water intake and could never get my stools smaller than the gigantic ones that the fiber gave me. I think for me, that powder doesn't work well, maybe because I already get so much fiber. I've been mainly trying to eat it, but like I said, I'm still trying to figure it out so my stools are softer. I used to drink a cup of coffee every morning and that worked like clockwork to keep me regular and soft. It was like a stimulant. But when I was pregnant with my son, I had to stop drinking it in my third trimester and ever since then, I've struggled to maintain good, regular bowel habits. I am thinking about making a return to coffee this week and seeing how that affects me, but I'm a bit nervous in case it over corrects and causes me to have to go desperately.

I just had my second BM post op and it was even better than my first! No intense pain, only slight discomfort during. The soak after was fine too with less discomfort than before, and all that is even with the BM not as soft as it needs to be consistently. You will be pain free again, and I really know what you are going through! Just keep holding on, and your journey will get you to that surgery, and to the pain free BMs.

One thing mentally that really helped me through the worst of the surgery prep, op, and post events was something my mom taught me when I was a kid feeling despair or feeling overwhelmed. "Just do the next step. That's all you have to do."

Step one: get to the doctor. Get the surgery date.
Step two: get to the surgical center. Fill out paperwork. Take deep breaths.
Step three: get into the gown and get the IV. Talk to the staff.
Step four: get through the waking up part. Go pee. Get dressed.
Step five: get home. Go to sleep for the day.
Step 6: do that post op BM.

And before you know it, taking little steps, not thinking TOO FAR ahead, just one step at a time, you are in so much less pain. I will keep on praying for you. Your surgery date will be a celebratory day when you're all finished!

Thank you again for your advice! : ) It's so helpful to me. I'm freaking out mroe and more each day as my surgery date approaches and every bit of advice I can get is so helpful in calming my nerves.

I will just put faith in the drugs to do their job and make me loopy enough to not care. I can always ask for more, if need be. I know the nurses and staff just want to make the patient as comfortable as possible during the experience, so I'll be sure to keep that in mind. I just don't like being in vulnerable positions and don't want to be awake at all when they start working on me, so hopefully those drugs work fast!

I just take Colace each day, but will probably start up Miralax after the surgery to help things along. My bms are pretty irregular in nature, ranging from being on the harder side to really loose and muddy-like. : ( So, it's going to be difficult for me to balance things out. Powders never worked for me. I found that they make my stools harder and more difficult to pass, so I gave up, at least on Metamucil. I already have a high-fiber diet (full of veggies and fruits), so I just don't think it's necessary for me.

I've never had intense pain with BMs, unlike a lot of other fissure sufferers, so the post-op BM really worries me. My main pain comes afterward and continues for hours. : ( It's horrible and really destroys my days. I can't plan anything because I never know how I will be feeling later in the day. It's awful and I want it to be over.

Thank you for the advice about taking it one step at a time. : ) That helps a lot. I really like the idea of that and it makes the situation not so overwhelming. That's pretty much what I've been doing; taking baby steps. I always remember that from that "What About Bob?" movie where Bill Murray's character Bob is struggling with getting over his extreme anxiety and he uses baby steps to overcome it. I will be sure to just take things one step at a time.

Thank you again for all the advice and I wish you the best of luck in your recovery. : ) I hope you heal up completely soon and are back to normal and pain-free in no time!

Hi letsgetthisover,
I hope your healing will be fast and easy.
I am wondering why your CRS didn't do fissurectomy, but only LIS. With LIS the healing seems to be so simple. I mean less painful. In my country all CRS suggest me only fissurectomy with sphincterectomy. They want to cut the whole fissure, cut another part of skin to cover the place of fissure and also cut the sphincter. I can't even imagine how painfull it will be to have so many cuts and have BM after that. Did you CRS tell you something about scar tissue (skin tags) which should be removed because they prevent the fissure from healing?

umka wrote:Hi letsgetthisover,
I hope your healing will be fast and easy.
I am wondering why your CRS didn't do fissurectomy, but only LIS. With LIS the healing seems to be so simple. I mean less painful. In my country all CRS suggest me only fissurectomy with sphincterectomy. They want to cut the whole fissure, cut another part of skin to cover the place of fissure and also cut the sphincter. I can't even imagine how painfull it will be to have so many cuts and have BM after that. Did you CRS tell you something about scar tissue (skin tags) which should be removed because they prevent the fissure from healing?

Hi, that's a good question... My CRS never even mentioned a fissurectomy to me but I do have a skin tag... But my CRS is, in her words, "a chicken" and she always cuts a tiny amount. That's why her rates are so successful, and she mentioned, the surgery, in the right hands, is (almost) always a cure. I have heard of others doing fissurectomies for that reason so perhaps it is because of the difference and severerities of our fissures that they are recommended? Everyone has a different fissure and a different bum, so maybe on exam, that is why you were recommended--or it could just be those doctors preferences. Perhaps you could ask for only the LIS? My doctors office said (when I called in horrible pain to say I thought I would need surgery instead of continuing ointment) that they always consider the patient's desires highly.

Wishing you luck as you figure out this step of your journey, and less painful BMs.

On that note, when they cut the muscle of your sphincter, it really stops the spasming, so even having a bowel movement when you have a cut isn't nearly as painful as you think, but I obviously can't speak for fissurectomy recovery, only LIS.

Luka wrote:Thank you again for your advice! : )

I just take Colace each day, but will probably start up Miralax after the surgery to help things along. My bms are pretty irregular in nature, ranging from being on the harder side to really loose and muddy-like. : ( So, it's going to be difficult for me to balance things out. Powders never worked for me. I found that they make my stools harder and more difficult to pass, so I gave up, at least on Metamucil. I already have a high-fiber diet (full of veggies and fruits), so I just don't think it's necessary for me.

I've never had intense pain with BMs, unlike a lot of other fissure sufferers, so the post-op BM really worries me. My main pain comes afterward and continues for hours. : ( It's horrible and really destroys my days. I can't plan anything because I never know how I will be feeling later in the day. It's awful and I want it to be over.

Thank you for the advice about taking it one step at a time. : ) That helps a lot. I really like the idea of that and it makes the situation not so overwhelming. That's pretty much what I've been doing; taking baby steps. I always remember that from that "What About Bob?" movie where Bill Murray's character Bob is struggling with getting over his extreme anxiety and he uses baby steps to overcome it. I will be sure to just take things one step at a time.

Thank you again for all the advice and I wish you the best of luck in your recovery. : ) I hope you heal up completely soon and are back to normal and pain-free in no time!

Hey, Luka!

I know what you mean about a range of BM consistencies! I had the same problem and definitely could not take fiber powder for that reason. I think, now, after all of this, that fear really changes your bowel habits! Stress and anxiety affect me horribly, and so I think the pain that I would expect from a bowel movement kept me from consistently and EASILY having a soft BM for nine months! Today, I just had my first super soft BM (almost too much so--with a sense of urgency) and I never did increase my miralax. Just kept on doing what I was doing. Before my surgery, I would take FOUR colaces a day and not move a twinge toward softer movements! But I've only been taking one and one dose of miralax, so the only change that I can see in my living habits is that my stress has majorly gone down because I actually expect a way less painful BM and time after my BM. Simply put, my body is way less scared of pain, and my bowels are finally beginning to normalize! I didn't take my miralax today for that reason! (And BTW, even with a sense of urgency, my BM wasn't too painful today!)

I also know what you mean about the hours after. That's the spasming, and it was always worse than the act of the BM for me too, even though my BMs did hurt. It IS miserable. I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy! That's what the LIS will stop, is the post BM spasming.

And don't worry, I'll keep you updated until the day of your surgery, so by the time you get it, you'll be a pro. You'll know just what to expect and do, and then you will feel so very much better once it's over! I never saw that movie, but it sounds right to me. Baby steps! I'm such an anxious person, so I've developed my coping mechanisms and accepted myself as a scared, anxious, timid person. Having my husband for support has been a life saver for my anxiety. Do you have a family member, or friend that you can take with you down this journey? Even just someone you can call when it hurts and ask, "it's going to get better?" And they will be your encourage my when you're doubtful? My husband did that for me, and even still after so much less pain, I find myself leaning on him in skepticism, doubting that I'll be pain free for long! Doubt is a poison to fissure recovery---I don't want to stress myself out!

I have a little tiny sharp pain today off and on which my mother in law informs me is just the healing process of some scar tissue forming and how people feel post surgery (any surgery). My hubby said his hernia scar is the same way occasionally, and she said her C section scar was that way for a while, so that's been calming me down that it's not the pain gradually coming back. It's totally livable pricks of pain occasionally, and still nothing like the fissure pain. Night and day pain levels.

Thanks for all your cheer and support! I appreciate your well wishing! This community is the only one in my life who truly understands.

umka wrote:Hi letsgetthisover,
I hope your healing will be fast and easy.
I am wondering why your CRS didn't do fissurectomy, but only LIS. With LIS the healing seems to be so simple. I mean less painful. In my country all CRS suggest me only fissurectomy with sphincterectomy. They want to cut the whole fissure, cut another part of skin to cover the place of fissure and also cut the sphincter. I can't even imagine how painfull it will be to have so many cuts and have BM after that. Did you CRS tell you something about scar tissue (skin tags) which should be removed because they prevent the fissure from healing?

Hi umka,

My CRS said he would do a LIS and fissurectomy on me because I've had my fissure so long (3+ years). When you've had a fissure that long, it develops scar tissue that makes it harder for it to heal, even with LIS. He said this involves smoothing out the edges of the fissure and cutting away any tags.

I really don't want it done because I know it will be a more painful recovery than just LIS, but if it helps to heal the fissure once and for all, then I'm for it. I don't want to have to go back into surgery to get it cut again if I just get the LIS. I want to make sure it will heal properly and I trust my CRS to do this.

Hope that helps. : )

Thank you so much letsgetthisover for all your advice. : ) And thank you for being there for me up until my surgery date. I really need the support of others to help me through this.

I totally understand about being afraid of BMs and that affecting consistency and soft stool. These days, I don't even want to wake up in the mornings. : ( I'm afraid to go to the bathroom since I never know how it will turn out and if I will be in pain the rest of the day or not. I've always been very regular and go twice every morning, never skipping days. Been this way most of my life. So I know it's coming and I get so frightened of how things will turn out the rest of the day. I just want to stay in bed and it takes everything in me just to get up. I just hate the life I'm living now and want to be free of it all. : ( And, yes, I wouldn't wish this pain or the anxiety associated with it on anyone. It's a horrible way to live. Granted, some days are okay depending on how I go to the bathroom and the pain is manageable, but my fissure has gotten worse over these past few months and those days are becoming fewer and farther between.

My mom has been my support in all this in my family. I don't know what I'd do without her. I've been close to her my whole life and she's been through my worst of times and always helped me pull through. So, I talk to her when I'm feeling down about things. I know she has her own problems, but she's always there to listen. Other than her, I'm not really comfortable talking to anyone else about this off-line. My boyfriend seems uncomfortable about the issue and he's never been the best support for me. I don't like talking to friends about it because they don't understand. I much prefer talking to my mom about all this. It helps so much.

I wish you the best in your healing and hope those sharp pricks go away soon, although I hope that means healing for you. I know you will heal up soon and be feeling so, so much better. : ) I just want everyone to heal from this horrible thing and be able to focus on having a happy, pain-free life again. I know that's what I want! Take care for now and keep me and everyone updated on your healing progress.

How are things going, letsgetthisover? I hope you are doing well.

Luka wrote:How are things going, letsgetthisover? I hope you are doing well.

Hi, Luka!

Life has been pretty quiet on the fissure front over here, which I'm still having a hard time believing! I think I have reached the "it's healing and itchy" stage and there are way less pricks now. Yesterday, I had what I would call my first regular, normal BM with no pain and a quick soak afterwards. The itchiness is only for a bit post BM. I made a return to coffee yesterday and it was amazing! It is helping to aid my digestion, and one cup seems to get things moving in the morning (since my body needs a push due to fear of BMs).

I'm so glad you have your mom to talk to in this! My hubby wasn't the most supportive until he was up close and personal watching me writhe in pain for several hours, and then after reading some literature on the subject of fissures. Now he's really supportive and compassionate. It's hard for people who've never experienced the pain of a fissure (especially chronically) to get it, I think.

I know just what you mean on the "it's hard to get up in the morning." Just hold on, there WILL be pain free days (and lots if them) coming for you! I am one week post surgery and never expected such a pain free recovery!

One digestion thing I want to share: my son is 14 months and I've been breastfeeding him until my surgery. My hubby and I began to wean him the day of my surgery and giving him cows milk instead (while I pumped and dumped). My milk supply has been tanking finally and I've noticed a HUGE difference in my BMs being softer. I think for whatever reason, even though I drink 10 southern tea-sized glasses of water a day, the water was not getting to my bowels no matter how much I increased it. Now, my body is processing is so much better because it's not all rerouting into milk! I would have never guessed breastfeeding could do that to me with how hydrated I have been!

I have a follow up appointment in one week with my CRS to make sure everything is a okay.