Just wanted to share something that may help someone else.
For the past month I've been itching a LOT (possibly healing) and haven't had any blood and practically no pain either (thanks to Miralax and prune juice). I have a serious problem with taking medication everyday though - I just never take medicine and absolutely hate depending on any type of medication. Even if I'm sick or have a headache, I let my body heal naturally. So going on Miralax (and having to take it everyday for a month and a half already and many more months probably) - was a huge step for me.... I've never taken any type of medicine everyday, and I started feeling a bit sick depending on Miralax everyday. It's still hard for me. I guess it's psychological, but I just hate it..
So being as stupid as I am, I decided to reduce my amount of Miralax, but I would still take it - just less. It was working fine actually - but I ran out of the prune juice today, and I was also drinking less water than usual. I didn't even think about it and when I went to the washroom, I had blood, not just a few spots, but blood... That hasn't happened in an entire month so I think I re-tore. :cyclops:
I just wanted to warn you all - don't ever break your normal routine of whatever is giving you SOFT BMs. I am still figuring out how exactly I'll take Miralax everyday for the next few months, because if I don't - it doesn't matter how much fruit I have - it still hurts and bleeds... The only way I've been able to get painless BMs is with prune juice & miralax. My only fear is becoming dependent on these things for ever in order to have soft stool -- I don't want to depend on this forever... SO ANYWAYS.... I guess I"m just warning you, that it really doesn't matter how good you're feeling -- don't ever go off your routine!! I am usually so terrified of re-tearing that I don't eat ANYTHING that may be a risk - I don't even eat cereal anymore because of fear it'll hurt. Lecia - I need some prayers!
Now I'm a bit scared that it's going to be another 3 months or more of healing, blah blah, but I hope it's just a minor setback and not a complete tear. Either way, please don't ever break your routine, no matter how limited you are for time. No "1 or 2 peices of pizza because I'm on vacation", no delaying your BM because you're not at home, and no comfort food chips 'because you're upset and you deserve it' - no no no!! Don't risk it!! It's just not worth it.....

thanks for reading my complaining. Just had to let that all out and warn you all to never get lazy with your routine
-sunshine :shock:

p.s. the first word that came to my head after seeing the blood was "surgery" ... But then I said no, no, I don't want to go that far... I think this can heal naturally... I'm just getting so sick of trying so hard to change every single thing I eat. I'm already vegetarian & don't have egg or animal products either, so the food I CAN eat is already quite limited! Aah this is just making me grouchy. Oh well!
p.p.s - in trying to stay positive, i have more time now for baths because i'm off school. i am going to try to soak every day now and i don't care how expensive aloe vera is, i'm going to keep drinking and using it.
Thank you all again for reading this and thanks even more to anyone who can reply with any support or advice. God bless you all.

SSH,
I'm very sorry to hear about your setback, but your words certainly ring true. I've already decided that in order to heal it naturally, I'm going to commit to my AF diet for atleast 6 months...even after the CRS says its fully healed. At that point, if everything is good, I will slowly start introducing new foods back into my diet...a bite here and a bite there.
Good luck with your continued healing! Just remember, with a positive attitude you have a chance. With a negative attitude you won't have any chance.
Take care!

Sunshinehope,
Sorry to hear you had a setback. I'm sure with the best care you will be back on track. I agree it is so important not to way from our healing program. Thanks for the important reminder.
To better days! Marie

Yes, I have found your words to ring quite true, Sunshine. My doctor said my fissure was healed but recommended staying on the diet. I am giving myself at least 6 months after healing. And I have to be rather insistent on this. My husband kept hounding me to add this whey protein back into my diet because he was worried about my not gettng enough protein as a vegetarian. I finally gave in to stop the "nagging" and it ended up constipating me and I started bleeding again. So I think sticking with what works is important.
I have been praying for you and will continue to do so, of course! I am sure in a few days you will be right as rain again.
Things will be okay-you are young and healthy and have such a positive, sweet personality that helps and brings Sunshine to our board!
L.

hi sunshine,

It seems we are on parallel paths. I tried to cut down on the MOM last week thinking that I was healed enough to try it. WRONG! Dang! and bad timing too, since I am always spasmy around that time of month.

I retore a bit at the most difficult place for me to heal--the tippy top inside of the fissure. Now I'm sore there.

I am going to my CRS as soon as I can get a hold of her and ask for botox. I've heard great things and think that that might get me through that time of the month for the next few months. I always seem to have setbacks then, this month worse than last!

Keep us posted one your progress.

Thank you all for your support - you have no idea how much it helps! It feels great to get a push from everyone else... I'm so blessed to have come across this forum.
You guys are right though, I'm just going to suck it up and keep taking Miralax and prune juice. Before this incident, I'd usually soak only once a week or so, but I'm going to try for everyday now.
It feels less traumatizing knowing that other people know how you feel and have been through similar problems. Thanks again, you guys rock.

this is off topic but YAYYYYY i'm finally a proctosphincteranalogist..... haha! I think that happened just in time.

Congratulations! Soon you will be a VIP (though you already are to us). Keep up the good work!

Lecia,
Just so you know, which you may know already, L-Glutamine can be constipating. Imagine my surprise when my first CRS told me this. I didn't believe him at first and had to google it. I am so glad he went over my diet so closely.
I >>used<< to weight training a lot before the AF and I was taking a lot of L-Glutamine without even knowing it. It's in almost every "protein" shake and mix out there.
Ironically, it also helps cuts heal faster.