feel like i am going crazy

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feel like i am going crazy

Postby jlm1 » 15 Jan 2015, 09:55

Hi all,

I know I keep on posting in several areas but this thing keeps on changing! I have finally decided to take some time off of work to give this more time to heal. I'm grateful that I can do this but sad that it had come to this. I just want to be normal and feel like I am too young (38) for all these problems. And I have a small child to keep up with.

Basically now it hurts, kind of pinches in one are in particular, when I have a bm. This is not the same as the fissure pain at all. It feels like there is something in there, at the 9:00 position, but my fissure was at 6:00. Then I have burning on and off all day. The pain can hit a level 4/5, which after going through fissure hell is really nothing, but I wouldn't want to live like this forever! I just saw my CRS Monday and she had a look, the exam didn't hurt at all and she said that the fissure is healed. She said that it all looked good but one of my internal hemorrhoids looked aggravated. She suggested that I continue with calmol 4 suppositories (which are every soothing and I like using) and valium suppositories, ibuprofen. She mentioned levator ani and nerve pain. This concurs with what my physical therapist says, that when nerves are damaged there can be burning. Although my therapist is encouraging and has said that she has helped others with this get better, I'm still feeling bummed.....I can't help feeling how unlucky it was for the damn fissure to get infected which caused an abscess and then a fistula. Even though the fistula surgery was "simple" I think that having even that small part of the fissure reopened so it could heal properly, has created a domino effect. I had botox in July and that did heal the fissure. So it's annoying that this happened.....

Anyway, thanks for reading this and I know I should just stop complaining.....I know that many people deal with this and worse. I'm just feeling defeated today. Again, glad I can take some time off of work but I will have to go back. One fear is that I will go back in 6 weeks and be in the same place as I am now. And I'm even more down because I want to have another baby and am very aware that I can not even think of doing that until I have a few pain free months.

Rant over. Thanks for all your posts. I don't always respond because I have no suggestions but I read many of them and find them very helpful.

Wishing everyone a good, pain free day!
fissure May 2014
nitro, diltiazem
botox July
fistula surgery, piece of skin tag removed Oct
fissure declared healed Dec
currently have burning/pain-told it is nerve pain
physical therapy, sitz baths, valium suppositories
hoping I am healing
jlm1
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Re: feel like i am going crazy

Postby Scientist2516 » 17 Jan 2015, 22:47

Oh jim, I think we've all felt as though we are going crazy at some point in our fissure madness - I know I have. I'm so sorry, and I hope your time off will give you some good healing time and let you get your head together.
I think nobody really understands how LONG healing can take, until they experience it for themselves. Hopefully it's a matter of time and care for you.
Please take care of yourself and keep posting - it's always OK to vent!
:smilyhug:
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: feel like i am going crazy

Postby jlm1 » 18 Jan 2015, 06:30

Thank! I'm sure time will help. My head will at least be in a different place. I still can't believe how much damage a small cut can do.
Question: How do I add all the things I have done for treatment so it appears at the end of every post? Thanks!
fissure May 2014
nitro, diltiazem
botox July
fistula surgery, piece of skin tag removed Oct
fissure declared healed Dec
currently have burning/pain-told it is nerve pain
physical therapy, sitz baths, valium suppositories
hoping I am healing
jlm1
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 188
Topics: 22
Joined: 22 Jun 2014, 15:20
Has thanked: 48 times
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Re: feel like i am going crazy

Postby owmybum » 18 Jan 2015, 11:42

Yup..... I think I can relate to feeling like I'm going crazy!! It's like scientist says.... Lots of time and kid gloves. You will get there. Vent away... That's what the board is for!!!

To put your info on the bottom of your post... Go into user controll panel at the top of the home page... Then find edit signature. Then add your info.

:smilyhug:
OMB x
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
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Re: feel like i am going crazy

Postby Fissurefrustration » 12 Feb 2015, 13:57

massive hugs JLM I'm in the same boat. been told I'm healed but the pain after a bm is around a 4/5 and lasts for the rest of the day. sometimes worse when I turn or move too quickly. Not sure if its nerve damage but my CRS is sure I'm healed and suggested it could be psychological?!?!?!! when I lie on my back and look with a mirror, pull back the skin tag I can see the inside skin is moist and looks red, not like normal sphincter tissue. She's referred me to physio but no clue how that's gonna help sphincter pain.

prayers your way x
Suffering since June 2013

Methods tried:
GTN cream - migraines!
Manuka Honey / Coconut oil / Aloe
tag excision X 2, botox x 3
Dilatiazem
dilatation 2 X daily + Retin-C Vitamin Scar Treatment Oil 2 X daily - best thing ever.
Now pain free 2/7/21
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Re: feel like i am going crazy

Postby paine » 01 Mar 2016, 12:38

me too. the pain is really killing me. i cant even sleep anymore. whats worse is i am having menstruation and the blood keeps going in the painful area. i wish to heal. this is teribble and defeating. hugs to you. thanks to everyone in this forum.
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