April 2019 - now (back and forth; now in healed state)

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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 19 Jun 2019, 09:11

6/19

bm: 9am. Somewhere between Bristol type 3 and 4. Not bad. Internal hemmie seems to be calm enough. Pain of pushing them back in is about 3 (huge improvement from the bad days)

almost no spasms. the usual burning/tightness/discomfort. and itchy! (hope it's a sign of healing)

another bm around 11am. very watery (like Bristol type 7). why why why????!!!! I'm soooooooo confused. what does it take to have the perfect once-a-day type 4 stool?!

***

morning: cod liver oil, blueberry+strawberry+coconut milk (6g fiber) smoothie, 1 cap miralax

lunch: pig feet soup, one pear

snack: white fungus soup (a common Chinese sweet soup), 3 medjool dates

dinner: three small turkey meatballs, steamed spinach and asparagus, tbsp of olive oil, one kiwi

sitz bath: twice

***

I signed up for a 200 hour yoga teacher training program before my fissure ordeal, and since I'm taking time off work and this training has been a goal of mine for a while, I really didn't want to give it up.

Today we had the first session, all 3 hours. I made it through! Sitting on hard yoga blocks turned out to be much easier than sitting in normal chairs (which I still couldn't do).

Also, I got this book from Amazon, "Heal Pelvic Pain" by Amy Stein. It had some stretching and strengthening exercises. I don't think I have bad pelvic floor issues but the recent spasms probably made them a lot tighter than they ought to be. I'm gonna start doing these exercises from now on.
Last edited by appleapple on 19 Jun 2019, 23:14, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 19 Jun 2019, 15:27

Useful Things

Using this as a place to deposit useful tips I saw in other posts

https://anal-fissure.org/no-more-pain-t7146.html
When you are in pain, try focusing on your breathe and each time you exhale, think of(or order) your blood steam rush in to the anus area. You will notice a bit relaxation there. Recognize it.

Then imagine your anus expanding freely. As if a light wind blows through it, it would expand easily without any force.
Something like a jellyfish moving in the current.

It is hard to explain, but you are mentally able to relax the muscles if you focus.

All the best, stay strong and be hopeful that human mind and body is a miracle and it can get through anything.

https://anal-fissure.org/success-story-my-af-journal-t5909.html
A BIG part of the healing journey is hope, hope, hope. Do not lose hope. We are not alone, we may feel so, but we are not. And NEVER underestimate the healing power of our body. Human body is designed to heal the wounds. It is just because of the location and frequent friction that it is taking a little longer than any other part in the body. We will provide all the nutrients and necessary components that the body needs to heal, we will avoid anything that will hinder the healing and then we will leave it up to God. Prayers - lots and lots of prayers will help us keep the faith and hope going in our healing journey. God is the best listener. I totally completely feel the pain that you are going through and my sincere hopes and prayers for each one of you in your healing journey. You WILL heal, it is just a matter of time and patience. I hope this journal of mine helps to ease the suffering of someone out there or at least help to give you a new hope

https://anal-fissure.org/psychologist-s-advice-for-managing-pain-t11432.htmlDeep breathing/body scan/ meditation: I was surprised how helpful this is...I've never been one to really go for this kind of thing but it really does help calm down racing thoughts and even take the pain down a level or two. We went through a process of "body scanning" - moving from head to toe and concentrating on relaxing one body part at a time, while keeping deep breathing as an anchor. I was also told to focus on a soothing colour, and imagine the colour filling my body, especially the painful areas. I find this particularly helpful. I aim for 2 fifteen minute sessions each day, more if needed.

Deep breathing/meditation techniques:

We tried another technique this week during mindfulness exercises. This involved starting off with a quick body scan and deep breathing. Then, think of someone you love and admire, who makes you feel comforted and picture them in your head. While continuing to breathe, tell them (I did this in my head not out loud but I assume it doesn't matter) "may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you get through whatever trouble comes your way". Do this several times. Then, continuing to picture the individual, imagine them saying the same to you. Repeat several times, then go back to body scanning and really try and relax the areas where you hold tension.

You could also picture a group of people to whom you belong and feel comfortable with - your family, friends, members of this board haha - instead of the individual. It is also helpful to remind yourself - or have someone else remind you - that you are doing the best you can and that this state is not permanent.

I've also been using a great app called "Headspace" to practice mindfulness - I find it particularly helpful on those days when there are lots of bad thoughts that just won't be quiet.

https://anal-fissure.org/healed-you-will-too-t12625.html?hilit=scar%20tissue
We are able to heal ourselves. Our bodies are designed to heal, it is a miraculous process our cells replenish it just takes time. Stress prolongs it.

Stay Positive Stay Calm and know you will be healed, no matter how long it takes, it will heal and you will be back to your life. That is GUARANTEED.

Here is your survival mantras:
I will not panic
I will rest when I need to rest
I will not feel bad for having to heal
I will trust my instincts
I will thank God everyday and know that I will get through this
I will know that although it appears that everyone else is living their lives and I am suffering, I know that I too will be healed and back to normal sooner than later.
No pain lasts forever

Peace Love and Healing to everyone and so many thanks to all those on the forum who help others going this painful but temporary experience. YOU WILL HEAL!! You will get through this, your pain will go away!! Keep the Faith! Every little things going to be alright.
Last edited by appleapple on 27 Jun 2019, 16:15, edited 10 times in total.
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby Abu » 19 Jun 2019, 21:54

Very nice post, thank you.
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 20 Jun 2019, 10:03

6/20

bm: 9:30am. Kind of a mix of Bristol type 4 and 7? Internal hemmie seems to be calm enough. Pain of pushing them back in is about 3.

***

morning: cod liver oil, warm coconut milk, 4 strawberries, 1 cap miralax, warm fungus sweet soup. I wonder if having cold drinks/food in the morning upsets the stomach and makes me want to go again, so I'm gonna trying having warm food now.

lunch: pig feet soup with some daikon, 1 tsb almond butter, 1 tbsp hummus, one pear

snack: 3 medjool dates

dinner: two small turkey meatballs, steamed spinach and broccoli, tbsp of olive oil, one kiwi

sitz bath: twice

the post-BM spasms are now better described as general soreness/tightness/itchiness? The discomfort still makes me super aware of my anus (I use that as a test since a healthy person probably doesn't feel his/her anus that much). I went out for a grocery walk (about an hour) after the morning bm. however, in the early afternoon, for a couple hours the discomfort level would go up a bit.

***

trying to keep up a positive attitude. my body CAN HEAL. I'm paying close attention to how my body (in particular, my precious bum!) feels every day, and every little sign of improvement counts! Like how when I do kegel now, my anus doesn't feel like it's squeezing on sand paper anymore (it did, a few days ago), and that every day the spasms and tightness seem to be getting milder and shorter and more manageable. I hope a normal life is near!!!! We can do it!!!!
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 20 Jun 2019, 14:43

Propolis Suppositories

I've been using these 3 times a day (once after morning BM, once around 2,3PM, and once before I go to bed) since I got them 3 days ago. I've always responded well to honey/propolis type of products (cold sores, toothaches, small skin wounds, etc.) so maybe there could be some placebo/positive psychological reinforcement effect going on. But hey if it makes me feel better!

The ingredients of these suppositories include Cocoa Butter, Propolis, Castor Oil, Olive Oil infused with (St. John’s Wort, Sea Buckthorn and Calendula), Raw Wildflower Honey, Pollen, Beebread, Royal Jelly. Since it's all natural, I figured it's not gonna do me any harm if i use this long-term. The very first time I used this, there's 5 min of very slight itching/tingling in my rectum. I took it as a good sign since at least it means it's reaching where I wanted it to reach!
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 21 Jun 2019, 11:59

6/21

bm: 11am. Bristol type 4. Pain of pushing them back in is about 2-3. The usual pain immediately after BM is now more an itch rather than distinct pain. so happy about the healing!

oh well, I still got mild spasms/burning starting about an hour after the BM. on average, I'd say my pain level is 2? Highest is about 4.

***

morning: cod liver oil, a few pieces of pineapple, 1 cap miralax, 1 cup coconut milk + 1 cup soy milk + 2 tbsp black sesame powder + 2 tbsp barley powder

lunch: smashed sweet potato and pumpkin, one kiwi

snack: medjool dates, pineapple strips, hummus

dinner: bone broth (10g protein), four small turkey meatballs, steamed spinach and broccoli, tbsp of olive oil, one small apple

sitz bath: twice
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby tightbutt5678 » 22 Jun 2019, 08:08

You are doing great! An itch pain sounds very promising as many have said itch feeling is related to healing. Those suppositores sound interesting, I have been meaning to try some. I made some home-made supps back in Barcelona and froze them - coco oil, manuka honey, cbd oil, and aloe. They smell nice but I find them so hard to insert (even though inserting my index finger is fine). I also don't enjoy the cold feeling inside my butt so wouldn't mind trying some pre-made supps that are room temperature...
- February 2019 : Fissure
- Tried all of the creams, perfecting the diet, self dilation
- Reduced symptoms significantly but still not healed
- July 2019 : LIS with tag removal
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby tightbutt5678 » 22 Jun 2019, 08:12

Also, I love headspace!! I use it often to calm anxiety or to help fall asleep. Very awesome app.
- February 2019 : Fissure
- Tried all of the creams, perfecting the diet, self dilation
- Reduced symptoms significantly but still not healed
- July 2019 : LIS with tag removal
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 22 Jun 2019, 13:14

6/22

bm: 8:30am. Bristol type 4. Pain of pushing hemmie back: about 3.

Quite a bit of post-BM spasms/burning today though. More painful than yesterday. I haven't made obvious progress for 3 days by now. Don't lose hope. Be patient!

***

morning: cod liver oil, a few pieces of pineapple, 1 cap miralax, 2 cup coconut milk + 1.5 tbsp black sesame powder + 1.5 tbsp barley powder + ghee butter

lunch: smashed sweet potato and pumpkin cooked in soy milk + coconut milk, some strawberries

snack: medjool dates, coconut strips, hummus, 1 cup of goat milk kefir

dinner: bone broth (20g protein), a few shrimps, steamed spinach and cauliflower, tbsp of olive oil, one kiwi, one apricot

sitz bath: twice

***

started using propolis cream in the afternoon. feels itchy (the good itch, based on past experience, lol.)
Last edited by appleapple on 23 Jun 2019, 11:06, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 23 Jun 2019, 08:52

6/23

bm: 8:30am. Bristol type 4. (I took miralax plus 100mg magnesium citrate yesterday.) Pain of pushing hemmie back: about 2. BM felt more like an itchy stretch than a split.

Post-BM spasms: somewhere between a spasm and a prickly, persistent itch/tightness around anus?

***

my eating window has to be shortened today because of 3 hr yoga lecture in the afternoon, so I ate everything within a 4 hour window.

cod liver oil
a few pieces of strawberries and pineapples, one apricot
1 cap miralax
2 cup coconut milk + 1.5 tbsp black sesame powder + 1.5 tbsp barley powder + ghee butter
1 cup coconut milk + smashed sweet potato and pumpkin + 1 egg
bone broth (10g protein), 2 small turkey meatballs, 1 tbsp of olive oil, boiled asparagus and spinach
bone broth (10g protein), one kiwi, a few pieces of strawberries and pineapples
snack: medjool dates, coconut strips, guacamole

sitz bath: just once in the morning. will cut back on sitz bath because of vaginal itch for the next few days.

***

all the butt cream and butt oil and sitz baths seems to be irritating my vaginal area. grhhh...i'm getting quite a bit of itchiness down there. if it doesn't get better in a few days, maybe it's time to go to an OBGYN. yikes. how one thing leads to another.
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