Hi guys
Its been 3.5 months since i did my annal fissure surgery ( Sphincterotomy surgery).
of course 2 months before the surgery i got to the point that i didn't leave the house for a month and a half and was in horrible pain from first BM in the morning (around 8am or 9am) until 7 or 8pm , which started to feel better, and same for th next and next day.
i decided to do the surgery because i couldn't live like that anymore, and in my head i kept saying it all will be over soon, its only a BAD DREAM, a long one.
After the surgery no need to say that the amount of pain that i was in was not normal to humans, i was taking perckuset every 2 hours, about 12 a day. if not i would feel like my butt is having a knife fight with himself, i used to wake up in the middle of the night screaming with pain and had to take pills even while i was sleeping! Now, i am not talking about the BM which was like having a baby from my ass, no kidding! there was days i was praying for god while doing a BW to help me with this unbelievable pain, i got to the point a week after the surgery that i had to go to the surgeon so she can give me shoots to my ass to num it so i can go to the bathroom! very very bad time, and very painful recovery..
Anyways.. after 2 weeks i found out i had an infection, and do to the infection i developed fistula! congratulation to me!!
my Ass doctor (that's how he is named on my phone contact list) told me the only way to treat it is with some tacks pads, so after using a tucs pads for 2 weeks and doing hot baths 3 times a day, he said it was healed, So i asked him, dear ass doctor, if its healed how come i still have pain in my butt and i need to sit on ice few times a day?
so he told me u have a little fussier, i wanted to die!
This time its not painful like before the surgery, but my ASS getting HOT after a BW, and just randomly during the day, so of course i am putting ice like 7 times a day, for 15 minutes each time.
every time i go to the Ass Doctor he tells me " oh it looks better" so i wonder " why the hell its not feeling better!!"
i become a slave to my owen ass, i am telling you i miss my life before this god damn fissure, i become depressed because i can't hang out with my wife and my 8 months baby, and its controlling everything i do. i had to cancel few flight because i am not up to it, and i can't really take a normal trip or vacation..
in the last few days, after the Ass doctor told me it looks better, i actually think its becoming worse, i can't walk more then 2 minutes, it feels like i have to spread my ass cheeks while i am walking to feel better, its like a scratching feeling and it make it unbearable to walk.
i went to a nutrition so my diet is full with fiber and its really good so is my BM ..
not sure what to do anymore, but i feel sad and depressed most of the day, and i know its not good for my family and i know that even my little baby girl can feel it :(
i don't know what to do, and i don't see any light at the end of this tunnel...
anyone good any word of advise how to go through something like that? because i am broken physically and mentally...
thank you for taking the time to read
M.L