I have given up

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Re: I have given up

Postby sparent86 » 13 Aug 2015, 00:15

Hurtinend well i had my about 2 months ago and i was so scared but after it was done i felt stupid i was completley out and felt oddly it seemed like it made it feel better for a couple days weird but it did haha
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Re: I have given up

Postby sparent86 » 13 Aug 2015, 00:19

Salamon how did everything go And i know just stressin and had to vent. I am in the same boat bills rollin in and no cash comeing in i countiue to fight and pray this ends soon. I hope things go better for you to man this is a true test of strength
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Re: I have given up

Postby salamon555 » 13 Aug 2015, 00:41

Sparent Thanks for the reply , about the colonoscopy my Doctor confirmed that everything looks good besides a medium sized fissure with two big skin tag, and he said to continue using Nifepidine for an other month ,if it doesn't work well he will be preforming the surgery , honestly Im trying to avoid it as much as I could even though he said the only option he can do for my fissure to be healed is the surgery .
After the procedure is done my fissure start acting up . In my opinion reasonably I should have wait until either my fissure get healed or approached a dead end , But I think my personal experience will be some how considerable for some fissure suffers . how long you been having fissure ?
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Re: I have given up

Postby hayleyw » 13 Aug 2015, 09:46

I can also relate to this horrible period of your life. I'm going through pretty much the same thing symptom wise. My fissure first started over a year ago. It flared up then after a few days I felt like it had gone. This cycle continued for about nine months before I went to see a doctor about it. She referred me to a CRS who has given me Diltiazem cream. I've had about 5 rectal exams and only one time has the doctor actually said he could see it on inspection. That was the last time he looked. Been using the cream for 6 weeks and have found little relief if any really. I'm from the UK so the NHS covers medical costs for the most part but they are very relunctant to spend money on things like this. The CRS told me he didn't want me having botox at such a young age, said it wasn't good for me (i'm 24) I knew what he really meant was 'botox is too expensive'.

Having suffered for this amount of time it's become obvious my body wont heal itself. I don't want surgery but it might be my only relief and even if I come to terms with having it and the associated risks, it will be a battle with my doctors to actually have them agree to give me it. What a nightmare.
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Re: I have given up

Postby sparent86 » 13 Aug 2015, 10:00

Hayleyw when you say 5 rectal exams do you mean like they just looked in there or did they put you out and go in? This thing is a nightmare i am sorry you have been dealing with it so long
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Re: I have given up

Postby hayleyw » 13 Aug 2015, 10:45

I mean visual exams and in 3/5 times they also put a finger up to feel for lumps etc. Everytime I show my bum to any doctor now I beg them not to do the finger treatments. I belief all those exams are what have made my fissure so bad. Nowadays even parting the buttocks to look is painful. I was told I needed a sigmoidoscopy since I mentioned seeing blood. I turned up for the procedure and after they gave me an enema I immediately swelled up and started bleeding. By the time i'd gotten to meet the surgeon he said I was in no fit state to tolerate the camera up there. I was offered sedation but was told it wouldn't help the pain levels. As they sent me home one of the nurses told me to ask the CRS to order the sigmoidoscopy under general aneasthetic next time so I can't feel anything. The last time I saw the CRS though he said the sigmoid can wait until i'm healed as it was only ordered as a precautionary thing and he didn't expect me to have any kind of bowel condition anyway.
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Re: I have given up

Postby sparent86 » 13 Aug 2015, 10:54

Ohh i know that finger up the butt.... god that hurts soooo freaking bad but the worst one for me was they did a CT scan and this time i didnt drink the dye no they though it would be better to put a hoes in me and inject the dye that way oh my god that was the absolute worst yet i was in so much pain i was kicking screaming they had two guys holding me down and a nurse strokeing my hair never been threw anything so painfull in my life i literally wanted to die
My doctoe promised me though if its not bettet in 3 weeks she will put me under to do the exam she could tell i couldnt take another one awake
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Re: I have given up

Postby hurtinend » 13 Aug 2015, 14:10

I just wanted to say I am sorry for the negativity, this board and all the folks here are fantastic, who knew that you weren't the only one suffering..

For those of us on this thread, I said I have given up, well I posted at a moment of severe frustration, we appreciate the ability to vent and this board allows us to vent.

I want to say I am still searching, once I get my colonoscopy, I will report back. I, we, can't live this way, it robs quality of life. At the moment I work to manage it, not cure it. Keep the faith we will get there.
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Re: I have given up

Postby sparent86 » 13 Aug 2015, 14:17

I agree!! I have not givin up but when i saw this thread i knew what hurtinend ment and saw this thread as a place to vent no one is alone here its a great site and i look for advie here daily. We will all get threw this it just a matter of time I pray for all of you to get the relief you need
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