Hi all - day 4 not too bad so far. Had a huge BM this morning ... followed by a more comfortable smaller one. So that's two so far and that's really all I want for today! The first was a bit scary - and there was a bit a pain and bleeding, I think mostly from the skin tag site. There some mild burning about an hour later, but now things seem to have settled down. The peas are very helpful -- thanks so much, Bambi!
Wow, Alpine - what a trauma to go through as a child! I can't imagine going through something like that as a kid and not having support and comfort from my mom. I can understand why you wouldn't want to mention your butt to her. It really is amazing how much emotional support matters when dealing with pain. I have some family members who believe in "tough love", but I do think that can be taken way too far. Thanks so much for your sympathy ... it makes me feel better when people get outraged on my behalf. At least I feel like I'm not just being a whiner :)
I recall Genevieve's story and it really scared me - I really hope she's recovered and doing well now. It was her story that made me expect to get sedated - her's and a few others I found posted online. The other outcomes were better than G's. I think she did eventually heal the original fissure, but she also had another condition that made her prone to retearing and getting new fissures. That is part of the reason why I asked my GP to refer me to a different surgeon - if I do have complications, I want a different surgeon - and not one from the Rudd Clinic - to deal with them!
Right now I am focusing on healing, so that I will not have any complications and I will get my life back. The fact that I followed through with this surgeon despite his personality gives you a good idea of how desparate I was! I couldn't face waiting six months to a year to get a consult with another surgeron. I think that is what angers me the most ... doctors can do what they want to people who are desparate and have no options.
How are you these days, Alpine? It's been a while since we heard from you and I was hoping that meant that you are doing wonderfully and enjoying a pain-free life.

I feel inferior when I talk to the doctors here, sometimes I think they know the system and how hard it would be to just get another one. I told my BFF your story yesterday, she works with an exceptional ocular surgeon who has terrible bedside manner, he once had to work on my SIL's eyes and he left her hysterical but relieved her issue very effectively. She insists you should write that letter to report him, the system needs to know what he's doing! They have us over a barrel here in Canada so can treat us any way they want...
Alpine, that dentist story is terrible, I had a similar experience and didn't see a dentist for 19 yrs, only started again 4 yrs ago with an amazing dentist who understands my fear and deals with me accordingly...I love him, and his name is george carlin, which cracks me up and he is really funny! My bf's mom is just like yours, allowed her stepfather to do terrible things to her when she was still young but even after it came out she chose him over her daughter for money's sake and is still with him today! I'm sure your mom isn't that bad but the other things you describe sound just like her. The sad thing is, Nicky was still trying to get validation from her until a few years ago when nickys house burned down and her mom really showed her true colors, blamed her for the fire and the terrible divorce that came after... Her mom was on her cheating husbands side again because of money! Anyway, my BFF has me, I will love her forever unconditionally I hope you have a best friend who makes up for what you missed out on!
Hope, I'm glad you r doing well despite the horrific way you were treated, that's what's important now. After two weeks I am back to almost normal, some mild pain after morning BM but otherwise, back to what I was before, I do find I tire easily, probably from 2 weeks of rest and a whole year of sitting on a heating pad for a year before that!
Alpine, I'm glad for you that you r at the point where you can go a few days without checking in, I still check in everyday but the need is diminishing, I still feel obliged to be here for the newbies though, because if it wasn't for you guys helping me through the last few months, I don't know where I'd be. I can't thank you all enough for being here everyday, especially you, alpine, you got me over a serious hump with my husband and just following your story, so similar to mine, made everything bearable. I LOVE you people, heal up but don't disappear!
Hope everyone's having a good butt day!

BTW, I just went back and reread G's post, it sounds like the same doc! And he's in TO too! Could there be two...?

Wow, Elphie, your BFF sounds like a very strong and remarkable woman! Same to you Alpine - to go through all this and not be able to talk to your mom about it. That takes so much strength! I know people who had difficult childhoods, like parents who were not supportive or kind, and many of them ended up being kinda hard-bitten and nasty themselves. I really admire your generosity and compassion, Alpine!
It does amaze me what Canadian doctors can get away with - and dentists can be particularly bad. It doesn't surprise me that people refuse to go to them. I'm so glad you found a good one, Elphie - and his name is perfect!
I also wonder if G and had the same doctor - what a stroke of bad luck that would be! The guy who got me was Dr. McKenna. If we get a new thread up, I'll be sure to include a review of him on it. Other docs at that clinic have gotten good reviews from patients, but I've had a string of bad luck with doctors lately, so I guess that's just how it was going to go for me. I think that if Elphie's BFF is saying that something should be done about my surgeon, then that says a lot, since she works in the medical field. I'm taking everybody's advice very seriously and I will definitely be writing letters as soon as I get the energy.
Things are going ok so far. I still pop a Robaxecet about an hour after my first BM because there is some burning - not like before, but still a bit painful. And I don't want to get anxious and tense because I worry that might interfer with healing. I've used the peas a few times, and that helped, but I'm trying not to do that too much because I want to keep the blood flowing in that area to promote healing too. I also think that the Robaxecet is helping with the anxiety as well as the pain, but I'm down to one a day instead of two or three, so hopefully by next week I'll be off that.
Elphie - I'm so glad you are feeling better and that you are almost back to normal. I can understand why you'd still get tired - you've gone through an awful lot. I know things are going to keep improving for you eveyday. And I really appreciate that you are still checking in because you are such an enormous help to me and many others here. I don't know what I would do without you and Alpine, Bambi, Frustrated, Em and many others who have really helped me with all this.
I hope we all have healed and happy butts very soon and forever

OMG hopetoheal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just read your story
I am soooo sorry you had to go thur that that way. I was neally in tears reading it big hugs. i would have kicked that F***head in the balls bahahaha
Hope things are getting better, you have the hard days done with and now its all uphill from here. Just remember you may have some bad days but as a few other boardies told me count in weeks not days that really saved me in the early days.

Hopetoheal, I would have been hard-pressed to not storm back into that jerk's office, yank down his pants, and start jabbing things up his rear while yelling at him to shut his big, wimpy, whiney cake-hole. What a fool. Well, I am glad that you at least got the surgery done! Yeah, you need to report that guy. What an ass.

Also, are Canadians allowed to pick their own doctor, or are they assigned to a certain doctor?

This forum is so cool! There's a small army ready to shove all manner of sharp objects up my surgeon's butt! Doctor's beware! Forums like this can mobilize lots of people, so don't mess with us :D
Unfortunately, with our socialized medicine, choosing our own specialist is not always easy. Our family docs (GPs) refer us to whichever specialist they have on their books, in our 'catchment area'. We can find a specialist outside our catchment area or even a different specialist within our catchment area, but that requires quite a bit of research to track them down. Not a lot of people know they can do this, though, so they don't feel they have a choice. When all my problems first started, I called every surgeon I could find in my area to ask if they were taking new patients and what their wait-times were. I called about 15 surgeons in four different cities and was told that the average wait-time for each one was 6 months to two years, depending on how serious the issue is. That's why I went to the clinic in Toronto. I made the mistake of thinking that a clinic specializing in colorectal problems would be the best place to go - the clinic has a good reputation. That was a hard lesson for me!
There are lots of things I like about our system up here. If you get really sick, you can get high-quality care and not go bankrupt. We don't deal with HMOs and I've never had to worry about a procedure not being 'covered'. Some very big drawbacks are the wait-times and doctors with serious attitude problems. It's very true that my surgeon would have had his ass sued in the US. I do envy the kind of care it sounds like folks in the US get - quick, competent, and compassionate. We seem to just have competent. We need more doctors, better mechanisms for accountability and better administration of services up here.
New Mum - thanks for the reminder. You're absolutely right that I need to keep in mind that the recovery process will be uneven. I'm going week-to-week, as you suggest and working hard to keep a positive attitude.
Matt - thanks so much for checking in. I'm so glad that you are doing so well with your recovery. I've been following your story and it is very inspiring!

Hi Hope...Glad you are feeling a bit better. The skin tag thing has also been my source of pain and discomfort; so much so that it's been difficult to tell if the fissure is healing. But the last two days have been much better pain-wise and can tell that the fissure is no longer causing me trouble. It's when that BM comes into contact with the skin tag spot that the pain starts. So, that's 3 weeks post-op before I felt I could sit down normally, but I didn't have anything cauterized...just cut off. I have been taking 4 baths a day, but I remember you had some trouble with soaking??? The nurse told me to soak as many times as possible and that definately helped me with the skin tag pain. The toilet sitz baths still hurt a bit because it stretches the area more, but the bathtub has been very good to me and my ex skin tag.
I think you read up on Happyass's post about his recovery...he said 3 months before his skin tag area healed completely.
Today I forced myself to remember the days when I felt like I was pooping shards of glass (those were dark days indeed) and I am so much better than that now.
"Keep a positive outlook" is what I keep telling myself, because it was sooooo much worse (as we all know!)

Hey Frustrated - I'm so glad that you are doing better, pain-wise. You're right about memories of much worse days of passing glass and trying not to scream. It is a bit of a struggle to stay positive, sometimes, but I keep telling myself that I will heal. I think my fissure and skin tag are healing, but they are still a bit painful. You have a really good memory! Bathing is a bit difficult because I've lost so much weight that my spine and tailbone get sore when I lie in the tub. But I will try bathing again soon. I'm so glad that's working for you. It sounds like you are healing - does it feel like the skintag site is getting better now too? I don't expect to sit like a normal person for quite a while! I know happyass and other have described how their skin tags took quite a while to heal. I recall that you had some trouble with swelling - has that gotten better?