Knife like pain

Fissure causing spasm and sharp pain inside

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Re: Knife like pain

Postby GilmoreGirl » 01 Mar 2017, 20:04

Thanks for checking in mamafizz - I don't have an exact date (I will know by Friday) but it will be end of this month.

I have helped the stomach pain immensely by stopping the morphine. But that means the butt pain is in full force.

My surgeon says that if I have had no improvement in pain so far, with everything I've been doing, then more time won't help me. The muscle is just not going to relax on its own - and because it is so tight, every bm is trauma that perpetuates the cycle.

So surgery it is!

Trying to get bms under control and doing better with amitryptiline + 1/4 dose miralax every night.

Spoke to my psychologist today - he has been very helpful not so much in alleviating pain but in helping me get through this lengthy ordeal. I have a lot of guilt - I'm losing money every month because I can't work, my parents are helping me out like crazy, I'm not able to work on my degree, and my health and fitness (which I took great pride in) has severely deteriorated. Before all this happened I was running half marathons and deadlifting almost double my body weight...now I am out of breath and my legs are tired walking up the stairs.

That has been the hardest part - not hating myself because of all this. The psychologist has been so helpful in getting me to try and focus on the fact that I am DOING ALL I CAN DO right now, and to be ok with that, and that I have tons of time to get back to the old me. It's so tough!

I'm certain you will continue to improve and be your old self at the wedding! Your positive attitude is always such an inspiration
GilmoreGirl
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