Looking for advice (AF for over a year)

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Looking for advice (AF for over a year)

Postby ihateallofthis » 08 Jul 2018, 15:29

Hello again, haven't posted here in a while but I figured I'd give it another shot.

A year and a few months ago I was diagnosed with an anal fissure, blood on the toilet paper, outrageous spasms that took place whenever they felt like it, and a constant feeling of discomfort, almost like I need to wipe more. I was given a nitro cream by my Gastro and he told me to revisit if it still was present by the end of the tube.

Unfortunately my anxiety took over and I never made another visit. The fissure never healed. The thought of getting surgery is the most terrifying thing I can think of. If I knew for sure that I wouldn't run into any incontinence issue then I don't think it would be an issue. Being 31 years old, that's such a scary thought. I also live in fear knowing that after the surgery I will constantly be checking the toilet paper looking for blood and putting myself in a panic attack just waiting for another issue to happen, or another tear to be made.

A year later and the spasms aren't happening every day, maybe only for minutes at a time when they do come. I've been on miralax now for months and my movements have been easier, although a bit messy sometimes. I also haven't ripped open in months, but the fissure refuses to heal on its own. Sometimes it will be slightly painful to walk, sometimes it will itch horribly, and all the time it feels uncomfortable. I can't explain it other than I need to wipe because it feels like something is there.

I know some of you deal with the pain of sitting down and having unbearable BMs, but right now for me it isn't that bad. I'm scared to death to get the surgery knowing there are issues that will effect the rest of my life.

My anxiety has taken over and it's making it extremely hard to live. I know it sounds silly but everyday of my life for the last year I considered making the appointment and getting the surgery done so I don't have to feel like 'this' anymore. However I really don't have the optimism/confidence to do it. I'm scared.

I know a lot of you were in the same boat as me, and I'm sure some of you still are. I know you guys aren't doctors, but can I get any advice, if you have any questions for me I'll be sure to answer them and check this post frequently. Hearing a lot of your success stories always makes things seem better, however the fear of incontinence and this being a permanent issue is very scary to me.

Thankyou
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Re: Looking for advice (AF for over a year)

Postby hurtinend » 08 Jul 2018, 15:48

no easy answers

Botox injection may be an option before surgery is considered. You really need to get back to the doctor and discuss options. Doing nothing accomplishes nothing.

I hear you regarding the anxiety. I have suffered from it for a long time now as a result of the chronic pain. Some meds have helped (low dosage antidepressant). Cognitive behavioural therapy helps many.

It's hard to do but get busier with looking into therapies that may help you. I waited far too long.

I wish you healing.
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Re: Looking for advice (AF for over a year)

Postby ihateallofthis » 08 Jul 2018, 18:21

Thankyou for the reply, botox was talked about in office, however wouldn't that only be a temporary solution ? Any other replies or suggestions are appreciated.
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Re: Looking for advice (AF for over a year)

Postby Fissuretraveler » 08 Jul 2018, 19:10

I totally understand the anxiety issue and AF consuming you. I refused to have the LIS but what I did do was the Standard Anal Dilation procedure. There is a doctor in Long Island, New York who performs the procedure. I am definitely in a better place now than I was last summer.
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Re: Looking for advice (AF for over a year)

Postby missy moo » 15 Jul 2018, 16:45

Hey I had Botox 5 months ago an my life has improved greatly I'm no longer in pain but I have uncomfortable days my surgeon wants to do 1 more lot of Botox an he thinks that will fix this for good you can always try Botox there's no harm in it I too am scared of the surgery an have had anxiety most my life having a fissure makes it much worse we you obsess over food water sitting pooping an everything else an anxious mind becomes all consumed by it i know about panic attacks too had my first ones early last year not fun at all try to distract yourself an go for Botox it worth a try where abouts are you I'm in NZ an they offer Botox first
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Re: Looking for advice (AF for over a year)

Postby Hedgehogbum » 17 Jul 2018, 08:44

I had LIS in March and I haven’t regretted it for a second. I have had NO incontinence issues whatsoever. I didn’t manage my BMs properly after surgery, which delayed my healing, but the LIS has given me my life back and if i could do it all again, i would choose LIS as the best option, for me at least.

You have to do what’s right for you, but a life without chronic anal pain is a wonderful thing!
Oct 17: anal fissure
Feb 18: 6 weeks rectogesic
Mar 18 LIS
Post-op retears: 8 weeks, 13 weeks
[i]Aug 18:healed!!!!
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