Well, so much for progress. I thought the fissure was probably healed because there hadn't been any symptoms for over a month, and that a supposed small hemorrhoid was my main problem. Today, I had a difficult BM and noticeable blood when dab-cleaning. I think that I either re-tore or got a new fissure. I'll guess I'll know if there is any cramping later.

I was doing so well. Now, it's probably square one again (or worse). All of this effort for nothing. Stretching the limits of what my work will accept in terms of me working from home and sick leave. Now I may have to have surgery, which will require some recovery time. I feel like I did everything mostly correct for over three months, and have nothing to show for it. Perhaps I should've stopped trying to go this morning when it seemed a little difficult. Perhaps I should've shoved a suppository or petroleum jelly up there. But now it's too late. I can't f*cking take this anymore.