Hi ut_outdoorsman,

Thnaks for your detailed post. It was very helpful. In my case, I have reached that pathetic point where no matter what I do and no matter how soft my BM is, I always have pain. Imagine that- living like this for almost 1.5 years and 2 LIS surgeries didn't do a fucking thing! I am so frustrated I don't know what to do. I recently had a pelvic MRI to see if there could be pelvic floor issues but everything looks normal there too. It's like I am being pushed around from doctor to doctor with no one ready to take responsibility of the situation.
havefaith: Thanks a lot for your wishes. Wish you all the luck with the healing process!

Hi SSK, So Sorry to hear it. Doctors really suck don't they? I had a hard BM today for absolutely no reason at all (maybe valium) and it was very bloody like it hasn't been in a while...I canceled my tank appointment for the day, popped the valium anyway, and layed in bed. I went to my internist this afternoon and straight up begged and almost cried for some heavy drugs to zonk me but he gave me some light bullshti anti-depressent that I BET ends up constipating me or something worse. The crazy thing is is you go to my CRS, the guy will ALWAYS say, looks good, give it 2 more weeks. That's the worst part of this whole thing. 2 more weeks. 2 more weeks. 2 years later. I literally told the internist to lock me the F**k up in a nuthouse because I am losing my mind. My whole life, my career, my exercise, my friends, is at a standstill. And this motherfucker says 2 more weeks with a smile and doesn't find it odd at all they've been saying it to me since day 1. Wow. Sorry for the negative vibes. I really hope you find happiness in this somehow. I keep dreaming of all the physical activities I am going to do when I feel better. I want to run/jog/surf/swim/bike and lift weights. I'm not a jock, but I always did little things to stay active, and now I am just withering away because of the most trivial fucking ailment, and it's too embarrassing to share with anyone in my life. My family really thinks this is a non-issue. They do not give a shit and have made it very clear time and again that a fissure or a stricture or whatever I have/had is nothing but my own anxiety. I'm really sorry you don't feel well. Keep searching. Trust your body. If you feel pain, don't let any doctor tell you otherwise. I don't want to sound really morbid, but my dad's internist shrugged off his chest pain a month before he got diagnosed with esophageal cancer. I'm sure your ailment is nothing of the sort, but you need to trust what your body is telling you and don't quit until you get some answers. Maybe another diagnostic, i.e. CT, or that manometry? Anything like that possible?

I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much. do you think the HBOT is helping at all or is it too early to say? And have you discussed the issue of hard stool with Feingold? I feel like until we fix this, healing can never truly occur. But at the same time, can anyone realistically say that they can guarantee never having a slightly firmer stool in their entire life? That's just not possible. So are we supposed to live with this fear always hovering over? I wish I could be of more help but I have the same issue and I'm back on Miralax for a few days.
Also, do you take anything for pain relief? I take tramadol when things become unbearable which only takes the edge off and lets me go to work to keep my sanity. I actually popped a percocet last night because I was having such a bad day and i could bite the head off of the next person I saw.
It's so sad that your family doesn't quite understand you. I'm sure it is difficult for them as it is for my poor husband to be with someone who is constantly depressed and in pain. But hey, isn't that what family is for? I used to kick myself earlier for bringing this down on my husband, but I have managed to pull myself out of all the self-pity. On a brighter note, at least you have us here to rant to and vent out! Chin up then, I guess :).
I am going to see a neurologist, a pelvic floor therapist and possibly Feingold again. I've had an abdominal CT which was normal, but manometry would be a good test to see if my stubborn sphincter is back to being as tight as before even after 2 LIS surgeries.
Hope you have a better day today and feel free to rant some more here whenever you need it.

Hi again,

So I did about 7 treatments so far, but only 3 have been at the full pressure and duration... I do notice that pain seems to diminish after treatments, even if I go in the take right after a BM... Since my LIS/Stricture procedure in 9/13, my BMs have been for the most part, very manageable, but everyone gets the occasionally difficult dump, it's life. With a healed but, I tend to doubt that even my worst dump post-LIS would've caused a re-tear, but because I am still healing, one bad dump and I go back to square one- which is where I sit currently. I don't know if Valium caused it or the HBOT or if it was just random. Today's was a breeze again, so I'm just going to stick with my usual routine and try to eat light and late in the day.

I do not take anything for pain, and I'll be honest, my fissure was a wound leftover hemorrhoidectomy that was obscenely painful in the few weeks post/op. But 21 months later, it has certainly healed significantly, just not entirely, which is frustrating. My pain is day to day. Some days, like today, for instance, (I know this is a jinx), but my BM was light, I layed down afterwards then went to HBOT, my pain is minimal. But yesterday for instance, there was blood like I had been stabbed, it stung and hurt and ached, not horribly or to the point where I can't work through it if I really wanted to, but I am at its mercy. That's how it goes for me because I am not healed. I have an open cut. If it gets aggravated, it hurts, sometimes all day, but then sometimes it doesn't hurt much at all. BUT, this is all with me eating 1-2 meals per day TOPS, laying on the couch most of the day, and focusing all of my life on making sure I have smooth BMs. If I returned to a normal 26 year old kids life, gym 5 days a week, eating 5 meals a day, running, jogging, swimming, drinking alcohol <3<3, you can bet it will just make it worse and worse to the point where I am in regular pain and more bleeding again. So I am in like this limbo period but can't move forward with my life. Meanwhile, every doctor I see says this is no big deal and it will go away eventually, but I'll be dead eventually too, and I'm not sure which event will happen first at this rate. If I was a married old man I *MAY* consider letting this thing go and just taking motrin or percs on a bad day, but I really used to go to the gym 5 days a week and I really really really really want to go back and do all those other things that my friends are all doing. It's like my life is on pause.

That's very good that the CT was normal, those are the most high resolution tests I think, so that is encouraging, but doesn't get you closer to the answer your looking for. I heard manometry is not too much fun, but hell we've come this far, I'd give it a shot. Maybe it's like a pinched nerve or something? Anyway, thank you immeasurably for listening to my bullshit, and I am happy to return the favor. Let's get better in time to hit the beach this summer. deal?

I want to say deal! But I'm so scared and cynical at this point that I feel like I'm doomed to live this way- a life where beaches, vacations, heck even a long overdue honeymoon (!) is only possible in my dreams.
One lives in hope, though, so I'll say amen to that beach this summer.

Haha, believe me I have my doubts as well. But that's what I think about in that god awful tank for 2 hours everyday. I was literally about to go surfing for the first time the week I got that hemorrhoidectomy, but decided to hold off till after I had the procedured and healed up. OOPs. Anyway, good luck. I hope you feel better soon.