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New member! Looking for shoulder to cry on!

Postby mirrorimage » 01 Jun 2013, 12:07

Hi there everyone!
I am a 23 year old gay man suffering from AF(s) and living in fear of every BM! Not entirely sure what caused them (I have never had anal sex) but I think it was constipation and a heavy BM!
My story begins in June/July 2012 when I started getting a lot of anal itching, but I passed it off as nothing and carried on with my life. I didn't experience any pain or bleeding whatsoever, just a lot of itching! Anyway, in Sept 2012, I noticed a large lump of skin on my anus. So, fearing the worst, I went to see a doctor who told me it was just a skin tag but also diagnosed me with the AF. She prescribed me some anusol which if I'm honest I rarely used as it wasn't hurting........... big mistake #1!
Then everything changed in Jan this year. One day after a BM I experienced an enormous amount of bleeding (red water and huge amounts on the tissue) and some low/mild pain. For some reason I didn't go back to the doctors and this bleeding/pain continued for a few months......big mistake #2. Then the bleeding stopped (hooray....not) and that's when the excruciating pain started, I had/have never felt anything like it! Every single BM was like being stabbed with a knife covered in barbed wire and lemon juice! After nearly passing out on several occasions I went back to the doctors in March/April.
He prescribed me Rectogesic which I used for a month or so and it was really working, the pain was minimal and no bleeding. But I just couldn't cope with the headaches and dizziness anymore! So I stopped using it about 3 or 4 weeks ago........big mistake #3 For a few weeks everything was fine, just a mild discomfort with every BM. And then the pain started coming back slowly but surely :( So I made another appointment with the doctors, adamant I wanted surgery as this is destroying my life!
Then on Monday last week (27th May), after months and months of no bleeding, it bled......a lot!! And this time the bleeding came with a new, sharper pain much worse than before! So I personally think I have either re-tore the original AF and made it bigger, or I have tore another one as well! Great...
So, I saw the doctor on the Wednesday (29th May) and he advised me to go back on the Rectogesic but take it every other day rather than every day to ease the headaches. With that he prescribed Scheriproct which he said would ease the pain and I can use it with Rectogesic and he would see me in a few weeks to see about getting my skin tags removed. When I asked about surgery he said he had never had anyone have to go in for surgery for an AF. And he said something that made me really reconsider surgery and made a lot of sense "Why would you try and heal a cut that is taking a long time to heal by making another cut...?". I know it isn't as simple as that and that the surgery relieves the spasming to allow the fissure to heal but I think he's right in my case.
So, since seeing the doctor on Wednesday I have been using Rectogesic every day because the pain is so much worse than last time. But it doesn't seem to be working this time round, whereas when I used it the first time I felt nearly instant relief! The pain is sharper, more intense and shoots up from my anus about an inch in the direction of my lower back (if that makes sense). And there are blood spots on the tissue after EVERY BM.
And so to today, I finally got round to getting the Scheriproct prescription and I must say after using it, within seconds nearly 100% of my pain went away. But then I applied Rectogesic afterwards and the pain slowly came back. So I think next time i'll apply the Rectogesic first, then wait a little while and then apply the Scheriproct for the pain relief :) I have been trying to increase the amount of fibre in my diet over the past few days and had a Fybogel last night! So this afternoon I had my first BM after the increase in fibre, the use of both Rectogesic and Scheriproct, and using a lot of lube. The pain was ever so slightly better and came in short bursts because my stools were very small and soft!
I am thinking that I have two fissures now because I have noticed a hole in the skin more on the outside of my anus in the same place where the shooting pain is....
So that's my story! Any advice would be much appreciated!
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Re: New member! Looking for shoulder to cry on!

Postby Just 'Pain' Tired » 02 Jun 2013, 23:49

Sorry for your suffering and yes, it's a hell of a journey. I'm a mother of three and this pain has been more difficult to deal with than childbirth (which happens once, not every day!). My first tear and major pain was Dec 22, 2012 and it's now June 2013. I healed after five weeks (was told it was hemmies), had a month off, and then re-tore followed by weeks of hell. I guess I could have opted for surgery but was encouraged to try diet and the ointments first. I've been feeling better in the last two weeks and plan to continue trying these measures. I guess my point is that figuring it out takes time and lots of trial and error. There is a ton of info on this site which might help you. But it takes time to figure out what works best for you. Hang in there! Get the best help you can from doctor(s). Stay involved here (reading and writing!) until you feel a hell of a lot better!!!!!!!!!!!! Image
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Re: New member! Looking for shoulder to cry on!

Postby mirrorimage » 03 Jun 2013, 15:02

It's nice to hear that this can actually heal!
But it's different this time around, I'm fairly confident I have made a second tear which I am gutted about! :( It much more painful than last time I was on Rectogesic, and unlike last time I have a little blood on the tissue after every BM. Surely this means that it can't be healing if it bleeds everytime! I am making an appointment with the doctor again in a week or two :(
Just want to feel normal again...
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Re: New member! Looking for shoulder to cry on!

Postby Just 'Pain' Tired » 03 Jun 2013, 23:24

I'm sure you'll get some other ideas....in the meantime, I'll just encourage you to take a deep breath and think about what you can do while you wait to see your specialist. I was given a 'less than 10%' chance of healing without surgery, and my naturopath said 'minimal change of healing.' And yet I'm seeing improvement slowly week by week. Not that I'm out of the woods, but if I can have improvement, then maybe you can have really good improvement. The thing about surgery is, even after that, some people continue to have problems. In any event, it is so important to try and soften your poops, and figure out any other issues that will help your healing in the long run. Both doctors said to not to worry TOO much about the bleeding, 'it's all about the pain.'
Read posts on this site about success stories and diet/etc. We all are looking forward to being 'normal' again. As I say to myself, 'I think WAY too much about my poops!' :)
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Re: New member! Looking for shoulder to cry on!

Postby marg6043 » 04 Jun 2013, 14:14

mirrorimage, sorry to hear of your pain and suffering, yes fissures are a pain in the butt, but they can heal on their own, for some its only a matter of weeks for others is a long journey and is always that percentage that only surgery will heal, I also had side effects from the cream, yes the headaches are terrible I used to take homeopathic drops for that to take care, I also developed a rash from the cream after a few months of using it.
I am one of those that has been in the long journey without the surgery, a year to this day.
Yes the fissure will bleed while is healing as everytime you have a bm the muscles of the anus will contract and expand injuring the fissure over and over, but the less blood you have the better as the fissure heal, I still get a spot of pink once in while and soreness in the area.
Because you can see the fissure from the outside, (many of us can not as a fissure can extend quite deep inside) you can apply vaseline or baby desitin to keep the area from getting irritated during and after a BM.
That helps more than you can imagine, the pain will subside eventually and will become soreness and burning depending on how you are healing.
You have to change your diet, to help keep the stool soft and easy to pass, also do not use toilet paper but baby wipes to gently clean the area followed by sitz baths, during my fissure ordeal with the horrendous pain CRS recommended mineral oil two spoonfuls a day to make the stools slippery and it works, later on I replaced the mineral oil with coconut oil, (more nutritious).
Is plenty of information on how to cope and deal with this problems until healing takes place life can be more comfortable with littler changes.
I wish you the best. Image
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Re: New member! Looking for shoulder to cry on!

Postby mirrorimage » 04 Jun 2013, 17:52

Thanks so much for all your words of encouragement and advice, I really appreciate it :)
I have more bad news though, I just discovered that I have a second fissure now :( It's the second fissure that is causing the intense sharp pain, and it's the second one that is bleeding :/ It's more on the outside than the other one but looks deeper :(
So now I have the original one which I can't tell if it's healing or not because of the pain from the second one! I guess i'll stick to my current routine and hope for the best!
I have changed my diet to include more fibre and that has made my stools very soft but because the second one is so new and raw it makes little difference to the pain! I am using vaseline and that does relieve the general pain and discomfort but doesn't improve the pain during BM.
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