Thinker - first I want to say that I am so terribly sorry to hear about what was done to you , my heart brakes , really

. I know that you hate to be touched but I am still sending you one huge cyber hug

, it is "air hug", so I hope you do not mind

.
Second - there is NOTHING doctors did not see or hear in their office and I know it does not make situation easier, but try to concentrate on that fact. There is NOTHING for YOU to be embarrassed about

- whatever was done to you was that OTHER person's shame and may he /she never see the light after it is time to leave this realm.
Third- you are very , VERY strong person - you ended that horrible cycle of violence and that ALONE is HUGE step and only shows your strength !!!! It took MUCH much more strength to do that than going to any doc. or doing any procedure , you can do it Thinker !!!!!
Fourth - you do not have to go into details of how you got your fissure or any other personal details - fissure is a fissure and hemorrhoid is a hemorrhoid, thousands and thousands of people have butt problems , it is just nobody talks about it

. Since I was openly talking about my butt problems I heard about other people butt problems too LOL - and guess what - my sister has occasional "burning and pain", my mom has hemorrhoids, my mother in law had a fissure, my father in law had a fistula, many of my friends have constipation and some butt issues, even my LAWYER has fissures

- SO, I am guessing, there is no lack of patients in ANY CRS office !!!!!
So Thinker - go, go and see a doctor but find a good one !!!! It is very important - they are not all the same.
Every doctor would like to examine you but if I were you, I would matter-of-fact. explain my situation like this : " I have some excruciating pain in my anus. I suspect a fissure and I came to you for help. I know you will have to do examination but due to my personal issues with that kind of exam it is not going to be possible while I am awake. I am telling you this upfront to see if there is any possibility to arrange sedation. I am a victim of violence and I can not be touched that way. " After that explanation I can not imagine ANY doctor not showing understanding and compassion . Perhaps you can look for female CRS also, if that would be more comfortable !
Wishing you fast and complete healing
