Hello dear fellow sufferers. God bless you all. If I did not have this forum to come to I just don't know what I would do. I am so sad this morning. I feel trapped in a silent world. I am so tired of pain. 2 years of pain, I am tired of pretending I can have some kind of normal life, tired of pretending I am okay to my friends and family, tired of days on the couch, tired of missing events, tired of working everything I do around around a BM. I am just tired of it all.
And I am scared. My CRS says my fissures will not heal without an anoplasty. I believe him because it does not matter how consistently soft my BM's are I tear every time. Nothing has helped. I have used everything and done everything including LIS. Too much scar tissue from past hemorrhoid surgery. So he wants to cut out the scar tissue and fissures and bring rectal tissue down over the area. Now doesn't that sound just horrifying? So what will prevent more scar tissue from developing after that? And what am I trading in for? What will happen to that area in 10 years from now? If they would have told me this could happen after hemorrhoid surgery I would have never had that done. What are they not telling me now? Can you imagine what it is going to take to get through and heal from that one?? I just don't know if I have it in me. And yet I don't think I can go on much longer like this. Any thoughts on this would be so appreciated. Thanks.