Hi all,

Since October last year I've had two minor surgeries to remove 2-3 perianal haematoma (blood clots under the skin on the outside of my anus). These were definitely uncomfortable and painful, but after a week post-surgery I felt so much relief.

However, a few weeks ago I had a particularly hard and painful BM, which resulted in the formation of a few minor fissures. For a couple of weeks I dreaded going to the bathroom because the pain was horrendous. I did what I could to try and ease the pain (increasing fibre and water in my diet, avoiding almonds which I cant digest properly, using stool softeners, haemorrhoid cream etc) but was still having a lot of burning pain and itching following a BM.

I went to see a CRS last week who inspected the area and confirmed a few fissures, fortunately none were deemed to be chronic. He also confirmed a few small internal haemorrhoids which he said were fine and helped to regulate bowel control. He prescribed me Rectogesic which I have been using for the last week and it really does help. However, I am uncertain of how long I will need to use the cream and how long it will possibly take for my fissures to heal without surgery or botox etc?

Another concern I have is that I am a gay male and enjoy having receptive anal sex, but the last few months have been hell thanks to the haematoma, the surgery to remove them and now anal fissures. I'm normally quite sexually active and this has put a real dampener on my love life. I know that I should wait and let my fissures heal before having receptive sex again, has anyone had any similar experience and how long was it before you could be sexually active again?

You all seem like a great community who love helping each other, if anyone has some advice it would be greatly appreciated :)

Thanks, camM

I wish I had some suggestions or could help in some way! I'm not a gay male (I'm a woman and my partner is a woman) and I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you! It just stinks. Even though I don't relate in that way, I certainly haven't had any sex since this fissure business started. Those areas are just very close, lol and I have not wanted any kind of stimulation.
Anyway, I believe that time will heal. Give it time and I'm sure you will be much better soon. Oh and I wound up having botox.
Definitely don't do anything too soon as you don;t want to aggravate the area while it's trying to heal.
Hang in there :)

Hi CamM,
I also am a woman so I can't speak from experience, but it does seem that before having anal sex, it would be a good idea to spend a week or so trying by yourself, with small dilators or anal toys to see how well you can deal with having anything up there. A partner may not be gentle enough and won't necessarily know quickly enough when to stop.
Make sure your partner knows you are fragile. Sorry to say, it can take a while to heal, and it is easy to re-injure yourself.
Be patient. Good luck!

Thanks for the advice! I'll definitely give it a few more weeks before trying anything. Scientist2516 I Like your suggestion of trying things by myself first so I'm aware of my limits. Fortunately it's not completely debilitating to my sex life and was lucky not to have a chronic fissure or anything. Still, don't want to re-injure myself!

jlm1 I'm sorry that your love life has been affected, it certainly sucks! On the plus side having a support forum like this makes it easier, having understanding and caring people around who have similar experiences. Thanks for sharing and wishing you a speedy recovery :)

I would def give it a break for a few weeks. Maybe go back to CRS to check things look healed before you get back into sex. The last thing you want is to be re-tearing the delicate new skin.

Good luck with your healing!

OMB x