Polite way of telling people we are in pain

How do you tell people (other than close family and friends)

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Re: Polite way of telling people we are in pain

Postby Canadabum » 29 Feb 2016, 16:41

When I began my journey I had a lot of shame and would often tell people I had a back back (hence i needed to stand all the time!)...then it morphed in to I have a bad back and a stomach thing (I actually used to say "thing") which meant I had to stand and not eat much.

After 4/5 months of this charade I was physically and mentally exhausted from the whole experience....so much so I really didnt have the energy to keep up my own B.S......so I started to tell people straight out...i've got an anal fissure and it is super painful....i described it as a cracked lip except it is up my butt.

To my massive surprise -- I got two reactions. One was i would say shock...where the person simply listens and then shelves what you told them never to be repeated. This has been ok for me because those people are often the disingenuous type who ask how you are doing but dont really care. The Second reaction was of real compassion...which was so welcome...and the Third was of soooooooo many people quietly telling me about their own fissure, fistula, abcess and hemmies.

The best part of telling it like it is -- it is so liberating and it felt like a ton of bricks were lifted off my shoulders.
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Re: Polite way of telling people we are in pain

Postby brokenbottom » 29 Feb 2016, 17:18

Ha - your post made me smile Canadabum! I'm still at the "bad back" "digestive problem" stage. But I can imagine if this goes on much longer I might have to get the guts to come clean. Might be quite liberating!
Suffered acute AFs since about 2010
2015 Chronic AF diagnosed
18/2/16 Botox (unsuccessful)
12/4/16 Lateral anal sphincterotomy and removal of polyp and two tags
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