Firstly, I cant believe it has come to this. I have been lurking for some time and read stories and thought 'Wow atleast I dont have it as bad as some people on here'
But here I am practically in tears and worn out after what should be a simple bowel movement.
So this has been going on for nearly a year on and off now, there has always been blood on the tissue paper etc but recently... Well... Its been complete carnage.
The past week bowel movements have been a rather medieval affair, hence my username choice. Each bm has felt like a cannonball being passed through keyhole. I have the urge the go, so as I am sitting there thinking the urge is real, i then realise it was all just a trap. Now there I am stuck with a bowel movement the size of cannonball almost being launched from my colon.
But it never fires, the struggles are real. Im wiggling, kicking my legs, sweating. I stand up thinking it was a lie but then I realise i still need to pass this bm.
After 15-20 minutes of torture it gets set free. What a relief, I look to see my triumph but I am left with a blood filled bowel of disappointment at a mere marble sized accomplishment.
What is going on?!
A little history, I have seen a specialist who has provided me with Diltiazem which I thought was working for the past 2 months. I had a Colonoscopy last week, which I believe has irritated my fissure. Nothing has felt this bad before in the past year.
To sum up. Every Bowel Movement feels huge and gets stuck upon leaving, not sure if this is constipation or a symptom of an anal fissure. Once the BM has left I literally have toilet paper covered in blood. Not a streak, the whole paper.
Not sure, what I am hoping for here, I just wanted to vent to hopefully make myself feel better.