Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus (hippopotami?) hiding in trees?

Because they’re really good at it.

Lol!

A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job.
"Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks.
-"I can do great bird impressions", the man replies.
-"Pssh, a lot of people can do that".
-"Oh well", the man says and flies away.

Man goes to the doctor wearing transparent trousers
Doctor: "I can clearly see you're nuts"

A man asks a farmer near a field,

“Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says,

“Absolutely! Go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you might even catch the 4:11 one.” 

Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses.
You certainly do sir - this is a fish and chip shop!

A man goes to the doctor and says 'Doctor, I've a piece of lettuce ticking out of my bottom.'

The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.

The man asks: 'Is it serious, doctor?' and the doctor replies: 'I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.'



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Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field.