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Re: I'm new

Postby Kathy64 » 05 Nov 2016, 10:25

Dear Friends!!!
You all are so wonderful! Your encouragement and support are priceless! I am having difficulty navigating this forum so I hope you all above receive this reply. Not sure how to reply to each individual or I would do so!!! I am scared of both being put to sleep and the surgery. I can so relate to this anxiety thing though....Last February, I went to see my Nurse Practitioner to discuss preventative heart testing because I have had a brother and a father with severe heart disease and my heart rate climbed into the 140's.. just discussing testing....this was shortly before my fissure became symptomatic yet again! Going ten days without food is horrible! It really is torture! Please keep me posted so I can support you through this too!! I did not eat for the rest of the day yesterday and my husband and I attended the concert. As expected...I did not have a BM yesterday so my day was almost pain-free...that is the only blessing! The curse....wondering if I will have that late evening BM... so I panicked! Took Advil earlier in the day and prior to leaving...took a couple shots of Vodka. I looked at myself in the mirror before walking out the door and realized...I DO NOT KNOW this person looking back at me anymore!!! I am controlled like a puppet on a string... by the pain of this fissure and of my regularity or irregularity for that matter. I do not like the person I have become!!! I DO NOT KNOW HER!
I called the surgeon yesterday and her nurse did not return my call. It is a large surgical practice with five surgeons so I know they are quite busy. I will wait until Monday afternoon and then call again... I have decided to postpone the surgery until after Thanksgiving....and then there's Christmas.... I agree!! It is difficult as a woman because everyone in the family relies on you, especially during the holiday season! I feel so bad for my family! I know its extremely difficult to be around someone who is in pain....and I admit...I am not a pleasant person to be around....I just want the pain to end! Please let me know how you are after your LIS on Tuesday....I will be thinking of you all day!!!

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. Although diagnosed with an anal fissure 20 years ago....many, many years have been symptom free!! I have experienced flare ups every couple of years and waited for time to heal the wound. Unfortunately, this time is dramatically different! The pain was severe in the spring.. and now long-lasting and chronic. I think my only drawback will be my continual postponement for surgery hoping against all hope...that this will heal like all previous times before. Then I have a GI trying to convince me that it is my anxiety that is preventing this from healing!! I am going to request time off of work!! This morning, I went to the bathroom and I had to strain!!! I can not believe it!! I am very fearful.... Now I wait to see if I have damaged it more!!! No one does talk about this...and that in itself is horrible! We all need to support each other...because this makes life just unbearable at times!!! This makes life unbearable!!

Love and Hugs to all!!!
Kathy
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Re: I'm new

Postby Mypoorbutt » 05 Nov 2016, 11:05

Hi Kathryn,
Glad you had a mostly pain free day and that the concert went well.
The pain and fear that fissures cause is tremendous as we know we are partially in control but in the same breath we know that we have no control...so we have to resort to not eating or taking painkiller or drinking alcohol. To try somehow to be a tiny bit more in control of the pain a tiny bit more in control of our own body. We second guess every single thing we put in our mouths, constantly worrying about what will happen when it comes out. We are always on edge hyper aware of a part of our body most people don't even think of. I know there is no way I could eat for that period as it would entail at least 20 trips to the toilet each day which couldn't possibly be good for the healing after an op.
If your fissures have healed before then there is every chance this one will do exactly the same. Have the others lasted as long or been as painful? We have to take our family into consideration. That is one of my main reasons for having the LIS as I know my crohns n IBS will not improve so I cannot function with the pain of the fissure...I used to do so much with my children and although I try my best to continue to do so there are days when I can't leave the house so LIS is my best hope. I will be writing a diary on here about my LIS as I really does help to keep me sane, writing things down really does help. As family and friends cannot see the pain I'm in just the aftermath of it. Because I don't look like I'm ill they feel I'm exaggerating the pain.
As for anxiety preventing healing....I have quite a stressful job/home life and I do know that large amounts of cortisol which is released by stress will cause all automatic muscles to tense...that of course include the internal sphincter, so I wouldn't know if it stops healing but I do believe it does have an impact on the resting tone of the internal sphincter. But I wish someone could show me how I'm meant to not get stressed by my job (work with offenders) and two children one of who has autism that constantly need me to run around after them and a husband who refuses to help lol....unfortunately there is no magic pill for that.
I hope you have a good weekend and that it's as pain free as possible.
Hugs x
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Re: I'm new

Postby FissureFL » 07 Nov 2016, 22:06

Hi Kathy,

I had a fissurectomy, skin tag removal, and botox a year and a half ago. It was the best decision I've ever made (if you click on my name you can probably see my 'success story').

Like you, I struggled for several years with intermittent flare-ups and was also terrified of surgery. However, late in 2014 the fissure pain was back with a vengeance and there was no relief. No amount of dietary restrictions, sitz baths or creams helped. I was desperate, underweight, malnourished, and wholly defeated. My CRS, who I trust and like very much, recommended surgery and so I scheduled it. There was nothing else to be done if I wanted any sort of semblance of a life back. My doctor assured me that the pain would be no worse than what I was already experiencing, and I believed her because the pain was so severe and unrelenting as it was.

I am someone who has intense anxiety and phobias regarding anything medical so accepting the surgery was not easy but while waiting in pre-op a sort of calm and resignation came over me. I was putting the problem in the hands of my doctor and I was trusting her to fix me. And she did. She was 100% right in that the pain after surgery was NOTHING compared to the pain of the fissure. The worst part of surgery for me was dealing with the terrible nausea that lasted for well over 24 hours after the surgery. The post-op pain was different. It felt more like someone had kicked me in the bum as opposed to the fiery burn of the fissure.

I've said this in other posts before, but remember that with all of the horror stories you read, there are plenty more uneventful success stories. These surgeries, both the fissurectomy and LIS have extremely high success rates. Most often the people who are experiencing difficulties will be more apt to write about them on the internet. It's less often that you will find people who've had unremarkable experiences come and post about them afterwards...they just go on with their life. So, please, bear that in mind when reading some testimonials.

If you have a doctor you trust, then please consider their recommendations for your treatment. A CRS deals with fissures every day. Don't be scared to ask your doctor about their success rates, failures, rate of recurrences, etc.

Also, for me, I had to consider that my fissure was chronic and even though it wasn't always giving me pain, it was ALWAYS giving me anxiety and it was only a matter of time before it would return. I lived in fear everyday about when it would return. I thought about everything I put in my mouth. I stopped traveling, etc...so even though I wasn't always dealing with it...I was still always dealing with it. Accepting to do the surgery at least gave me the chance to really be rid of it because my qualify of life was compromised for years.

Hope you find relief very soon! I haven't been on this site in a while but occasionally I visit and respond with my own experiences to hopefully give someone some hope. Your story reminded me a lot of mine and I wish you lots of luck!
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Re: I'm new

Postby Kathy64 » 08 Nov 2016, 09:10

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! My husband was telling me the same thing, mostly people will write about awful experiences and I would be less likely to read success stories. I am so glad you shared with me! I keep on hoping against hope this will heal with the ointment I have been given. I am glad to see someone like me who experienced flare-ups over the years. This time is different though....never had pain which continues long long after the BM. I'm trying to control my anxiety over this issue, but that is very difficult! This really has altered my life as you know! I am so glad you are healed! You have given me much hope and for that...I am very appreciative!! Thank you again!!!

Kathy
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