My month-old fissure problem wasn't horrible until Wednesday, when I had a BM that produced sharp pains and blood. Now I'm back to the point where it is as bad as my last fissure ever was. The constant pain and spasms make it hard to know when I can go to the bathroom, and hard to actually go. I thought I was doing everything right this time, from diet to sitz baths to the nifedipine. I still ended up as bad as before. And, this time I actually have a full-time job so I can't hide the problem.

I just want to take a baseball bat to everything. I cannot emotionally take this. My wife is out of town until Monday, so I'm all alone except for the cats. I'd probably just burn the house down with me in it if it wasn't for them.

I know my CRS would just tell me to continue the nifedipine, or to possibly use more. I can't use much of the one compounded with lidocaine, because it makes me feel seriously drugged. The nifedipine by itself makes me feel bad if I use too much. I don't know where to go from here except surgery.

Hi William,

Sorry to hear you're suffering. I think everyone here gets where you are coming from. Sounds like you have really been through the wars looking at your profile summary. I guess you just have to dig deep and try to stay strong. Easier said that done I know ;-) Hang in there. There's no real reason that this will last as long as last time, and this time you have a head start because you know how to deal with it.

Good luck! LemonMan