Missy moo, I remember in an earlier post you had said that the surgeon caused a fissure while giving you botox. Do you think that was because of the anal exam they did while you were sedated? My CRS plans to do an exam before giving the botox and I'm worried she'll cause some damage while I'm under.

Yes I believe so also a different surgeon later told me that that would be why. An exam well under is pretty standard here they want to make sure that there's nothing more serious going on also they can find any issues that may be creating an environment for you to be more likely to get anal fissure so for me I thought it will be piece of mind plus if they found the reason why I was getting fissures they could fix it then I'd stop getting fissures.

SueMac I think I can have as many as I like but I'm over this now it's been nearly 6 years that I've had this fissure and the last 3-4 days I've had hard tips blood and pain during and after bms so I'm nearly ready for lis to be honest it's so depressing I'm more obsessed with food water vitamins minerals and poo I'm missing out on my kids growing up I got this fissure during or after my first child's birth so my fissure has been here since my kids have been here it's like the selfish 3rd child taking up all my time.

So sorry to hear that missy.I do I is where you are coming from about your kids. It's so hard to carry on as nomal when in pain and also monitoring your bm etc constantly.

How are you today?
I don't know anything about LIS but I get the impression it is generally good and risk low. Every though and with small children it's hard having things done. Have you had this conversation with your botox person?

I'm having more Botox tomorrow I'll ask him then bit the last surgeon I spoke to seemed very hopeful for round 2 of Botox he said more people heal from round 2 then round 1 so fingers crossed. I'll also be updating my progress on my other post it's in the general tread it's called Botox again feel free to chime in on there anytime and thank you for your support

Wishing you loads of best wishes and let's hope the second round makes all the difference. I think I am already watching the other thread as well.

Thank you so much

Thought I should come back and update anyone who reads this. I would consider myself 90% healed now not from a cream, surgery or anything outside of me. I worked on myself mostly self-love I learnt to appreciate my body and see no parts as unclean or gross. I learnt to be appreciative of my bum I even thanked it for the first time in my life I started to see it as apart of me I connected with it. If this sounds strange to you that's a sign that you also need to do this haha. It could be what works for you. There's a few things that I believe got me to were I am now.

1. I stopped looking for help outside of myself
2. I stopped seeing others as bigger then me, in terms of giving power to everyone else and seeing myself as being in need of other to save me.
3. I loved myself for the first time inside and out
4. I talked kindly to myself and my body
5. I looked into other people who healed themselves.
6. I started to have gratitude for myself my body an things in my life.
7. I looked after myself, by doing things I loved, taking time out, moving my body, and eating for fuel and healing as well as having little happy treats sometimes.

8. Meditation or just sitting with myself in silence being present.

9. I read a book by Louise Hay called you can heal your life and more recently I've been following and reading books by the medical medium.

I hope everyone finds healing from within as this is the key even if you get surgery still work on yourself to create internal harmony. I decided to write this because I've had alot if people reach out to me over the years and I wanted to give back. For 8 years I had a fissure I got botox twice, heaps of creams, fiber, cut things out of my diet, cried, begged, gave up emotionally a few times, I felt punished and thought my body was broken an didn't work properly why me I asked why is my life like this.

Well I've found its alot to do with our mindset, gratitude, self love, how we feel about ourselves and what we say and think about ourselves and our lives that plays the biggest part in how our bodies do and how our lives play out in general.

Please feel free to reach out. I really hope someone hears this and can heal once and for all. Take care of yourselves. Love to all