Hi Guys.

I'm a newbie on here. I've been a lurker for a while. I just wanted to say thank you for all your posts & everything that you do. This forum has helped keep me sane - i just want to send all of you fellow sufferers some love & hugs because this sucks butt (pun intended.)

I will try to keep my story as brief as possible. I will do it in bullet points.

* Jan 2022 - Had a stubborn viral infection that I needed amoxicillin (a common antibiotic) for. This turned out to be the worse decision of my life.

* Feb 2022 - Amoxicillin 'disagreed' with me & gave me chronic diarrhoea - I was having monsoons in the toilet! I was going 4 times a day. Then I got constipated & forced out a huge bowel movement that split my anus in half.

* Cue the spasms, the 'passing glass' feelings, excruciating pain, sitting walking standing were terribly painful. 3 months I tried to self-treat using sudocream, germoloids, anusol, sitz baths coconut oil, olive oil, manuka honey, changing my diet, fibre, drinking gallons of water, vaseline - you name it I tried it & nothing worked.

* April 2022 - I went to the GP in the UK, & he stated it was an AF at 6 o'clock & 12 o'clock. He stated it should heal & he gave me GTN ointment. GTN gave me headsplitting migranes - I had to quit after 2 weeks because I couldn't function.

* May 2022 - tried alternative medicines but nothing worked.

* Aug 2022 - I went back to the docs & he gave me diltiazem. I am 9 days in - I have noticed improvements in passing stools but walking is still very painful. I feel sore when I walk over 30 metres.

Update: After 2 weeks of diltiazem, I developed an almighty rash, which filled my anus will angry itchy bumps. Back to square 1. Honestly, it wasn’t for my kid, I dunno if I could continue living like this.

I've become more of a recluse because of this ailment. I used to love to exercise, go gym, go to parties & socialise but now I just want to lie in bed all the time. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy - I have had a lot of sick days at work because I couldn't cope. I feel like I will be stuck like this forever. This been 8 of the hardest months of my life. Someone please give me hope.

Hi there, this is no doubt one of the hardest ailments to deal with. I suggest you ask for a referral to a specialist. You may be too far along for ointments to heal the wound. Don't lose hope, you will heal but you need the right medical care.

patience_and_healing wrote:Hi there, this is no doubt one of the hardest ailments to deal with. I suggest you ask for a referral to a specialist. You may be too far along for ointments to heal the wound. Don't lose hope, you will heal but you need the right medical care.

Thank you for replying. I’m gonna call my GP tomorrow & ask for an urgent referral. Being in the UK, there are usually long waiting times. I’m just having some really low days at the moment. This forum has been a lighthouse in this dark storm.

I know people have more serious conditions & people live in war zones but this is suffering. My thoughts have turned really dark but Im fighting to stay positive. Thank you for listening.

Suffering is suffering, no matter the cause. If you can get an urgent referral somehow or go private that would be good.

I'm sorry, that really sucks.

I'm kind of in a similar situation. I used to be an insanely active individual. When I say insane, I mean it. I would exercise 6-7 days a week, often 2-3 times per day. I enjoyed dancing, rock climbing, hiking, a variety of sports (volleyball, soccer, ultimate frisbee, etc.), playing piano, gymnastics, etc. Pretty much one of those zest for life individuals. Then, the fissure struck. I didn't know what it was for the first year and a half of suffering. I thought it was pelvic floor dysfunction so I was constantly in the asian squat pose doing pelvic drops. This made my fissure worse. Much worse. Couldn't walk, sit, couldn't even stand for more than 1 minute without pain. Went to countless doctors and not one thought to check my anus. I had to find it myself and take pictures of my anus just to show the doctors. I'm in Canada, so the healthcare system is extremely slow and frustrating but now that I know what it is I can start treating it. Now I am able to go for two 30 minute walks a day, so things are improving, but some days (like today) I feel like I'm never going to heal and can get very down. My work life, personal life, dating life, everything has been on hold for 2 years.

Anyway, that's my depressing story. I understand things can get rough, but you've got to find the good. Like you said, passing stools have gotten easier. I think this is going to be a long road to recovery for a lot of us, and incremental improvements is always good. I really hope your referral goes through and you can get seen soon. I'm waiting for an appointment with a gastroenterologist. I'm going to call on Monday to check the status of my referral. Just remember, ALWAYS ask to be put on the cancellation list and call back at least once a week to ask if there have been any cancellations. If healthcare in the UK is as slow and broken as it is in Canada, you really need to follow up a hundred times before they take you seriously. I've considered going to the US for care a few times, but now that I know what is causing the pain, I have hope I can remedy it.

Good luck! Really, I mean it. Chronic pain really sucks. It is constantly on your mind and it's hard to be yourself in social settings. Keep us updated on your progress and remember to focus on the good. The incremental improvements and any person who might be in your support group.

ButtBuddy wrote:I'm sorry, that really sucks.

I'm kind of in a similar situation. I used to be an insanely active individual. When I say insane, I mean it. I would exercise 6-7 days a week, often 2-3 times per day. I enjoyed dancing, rock climbing, hiking, a variety of sports (volleyball, soccer, ultimate frisbee, etc.), playing piano, gymnastics, etc. Pretty much one of those zest for life individuals. Then, the fissure struck. I didn't know what it was for the first year and a half of suffering. I thought it was pelvic floor dysfunction so I was constantly in the asian squat pose doing pelvic drops. This made my fissure worse. Much worse. Couldn't walk, sit, couldn't even stand for more than 1 minute without pain. Went to countless doctors and not one thought to check my anus. I had to find it myself and take pictures of my anus just to show the doctors. I'm in Canada, so the healthcare system is extremely slow and frustrating but now that I know what it is I can start treating it. Now I am able to go for two 30 minute walks a day, so things are improving, but some days (like today) I feel like I'm never going to heal and can get very down. My work life, personal life, dating life, everything has been on hold for 2 years.

Anyway, that's my depressing story. I understand things can get rough, but you've got to find the good. Like you said, passing stools have gotten easier. I think this is going to be a long road to recovery for a lot of us, and incremental improvements is always good. I really hope your referral goes through and you can get seen soon. I'm waiting for an appointment with a gastroenterologist. I'm going to call on Monday to check the status of my referral. Just remember, ALWAYS ask to be put on the cancellation list and call back at least once a week to ask if there have been any cancellations. If healthcare in the UK is as slow and broken as it is in Canada, you really need to follow up a hundred times before they take you seriously. I've considered going to the US for care a few times, but now that I know what is causing the pain, I have hope I can remedy it.

Good luck! Really, I mean it. Chronic pain really sucks. It is constantly on your mind and it's hard to be yourself in social settings. Keep us updated on your progress and remember to focus on the good. The incremental improvements and any person who might be in your support group.

Hey @ButtBuddy - I haven't been on this forum for a longtime so I didn't see your message. Thank you for your kind words! How is your healing going? Have you got better?

Interesting to hear a Canadian and someone from the UK talk about not liking their healthcare system when just about everyone in the US complains about the costs here and many want universal healthcare like you both have. However, I know that the US level of care when you need it is as good as it gets (plus we have many top surgeons making the big money) so you get what you pay (or not pay) for. If I were in Canada and considering LIS surgery, I would strongly recommend you having it done in the US by the best CRS you could afford.

I was able to choose a CRS who was the head of the colorectal surgery department at the hospital and would teach others on how to do microsurgery for things like fissures. He's in Park Ridge, IL.

I had a fissure for 6 years and even though I was in constant pain, it didn't stop me from being active or living my life. I just got used to the pain. Since it was most severe after a BM, I started to appreciate pain at a 5 or 6 level because I knew it wasn't pain at a 7-10 level! I know for many that can be a hard pill to swallow "just deal with it." But that is how I did. Looking back I can't believe I suffered for that long. It's been over 2 years since the LIS surgery and everything is back to normal. If you can't treat yours, I highly recommend it. Good luck.