Internet!

Would you rather lose all your friends, or lose all your values?

My values. My friends could help me get them back.
Are you and introvert or extrovert?

Introvert.

Would you rather be trapped in an elevator with someone who smelled bad, or someone who talked way way too much?

I could make them shut up, but not smell better! The talker.
Natural or fake tan?

A bit of both!

Walk through Chinatown in 35єC weather with a slow elderly companion or take a class in taxidermy?

Taxidermy!! Lets stuff a Gopher!
Eat meat or live with a fissure?

Eat meat! There I said it. I would renounce vegetarianism for a fissure free bottom.
Come in from a blizzard to a nice warm fire or escape the blistering heat with a cool summer rain?

Come in from a blizzard. At least then I might actually get to see some snow!
Be born retarded or with a major physical defect?

Retarded. I want to have less self-awareness.

Would you rather stand outside in 100F degree heat for five hours with a sign advertising the new condos behind you or stuck inside a windowless office with no air conditioning and a dinky little table fan on the same hot day?

I love the heat so put me outside. My stepson actually used to transport homeless people to sites to hold up those signs!!
Has this become WYR. I had a friend that I used to play that game with a lot!
Would you rather be a hammer or a nail?