Oh I am sorry Juney. I know exactly how you feel. It is horrible! I think anal surgery is so brutal and then doctors are really upfront or they don't know how long it takes to heal. I was talking to my DO and she said that I should expect that it will take a year to heal. My last surgery was in May. So I am trying to put that into perspective but it just seems ridiculous to have to be compromised so long.
It probably is scar tissue. That can hurt as it starts to harden and toughen up. I know you are going to feel better soon. I had a day like that yesterday where I walked around with tears in my eyes most of the day because it just seemed like I was never going to have more than a few normalish days. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but the only thing that helps me is to think back on the good days I have had and that if it was possible than it IS possible again.
Are you controlling the pain? What about anxiety? My doctor gave me a small dose of xanax to take after I go to the bathroom to help me calm down. I would think valium might be better since it can relax the muscles in the rectum. Do you have spasms? My spasms are back. My rectum feels so hard-but it is pre/period time.
I am sorry things look so bleak right now but he did say you are healing. Hang on to that. Don't let yourself entertain these dark thought that you aren't going to get better because you will.

Sorry you're going through such a horrible time - I would say trust your own instincts if you think its something new and get another opinion.
Hope you feel better soon!

thanks you guys. today wasn't as bad as yesterday. it's still so painful though, just like before but with new pains and feelings. i just don't know what to think anymore. i guess it's possible it is scar tissue, but i have no idea.
lecia, especially thank you for your reminder that healing can take a loooong time. my surgeon is a DO also and he told me 6 months - 1 year for scar tissue to settle. i hope that doesn't mean this kind of pain for that long though. i tend to scar pretty badly unfortunately. i also don't know if i'm healed inside....i guess i can just keep telling myself i am and maybe i will be. i'm praying a lot lately which i haven't done in years.

i'm not ready for another opinion yet. i can't handle being probed down there by anyone new! i guess it's only been 8 1/2 weeks. it's just hard to be patient when i feel like my life is standing still. sighh. anyway thanks for the reassurance again.

Juney -
I am so sorry about your pain. Is it a constant pain or does it come and go? Did you bleed?
I think Lecia is right - It probably is scar tissue. I get pains from time to time too. They are not related to BM's. The CRS told me that they were from scar tissue because he saw ALOT of scar tissue during my surgery. This maybe the smae with you.
Things will get better Juney!

it's a pretty constant pain all day, then it subsides by evening and by morning i feel normal. then the dreaded BM right after i wake up and the horrible pain again all day. i feel it all the time now, not just when i stand up after sitting like before the surgery. it's not a spasm pain inside, just a raw sore swollen feeling, but since it's all connected i can't tell if it's inside or outside or both. i've been putting tons of vitamin e and A&D on and trying to get some A&D up inside. it doesn't look "normal" that's for sure. the scar tissue is like this swollen patch of skin on one side of the anus. i guess after 3 surgeries i need to expect a lot of scar tissue
i'm so frustrated, i know i needed the surgery but i feel like i was so much more normally functional before this surgery. maybe i should've just lived with it. i don't know.
does anyone know if it's ok to use vitamin E indefinitely? my dr just told me to use it, but i didn't ask how often or how much. now i'm rubbing it on the outside 3-4 times a day, basically just keeping it lubed up all the time. i'm using a vitamin e ointment i got from Henry's Market. it's specifically called "soothing ointment". i've been using it for 2 weeks now.

Oh Juney :( :( :( - I am so sorry to hear that Do you think that that "scar" migh be a skin-tag ??? But in any case - vit. E I think used topically can not do any harm :roll: ! You might develop some sensitivity eventually like with everything else, but other than that- no danger there , I am sure !
I really hope that you will start seeing some improvement very soon - it is very frustrating and especially when we feel worse off AFTER the procedure than before. It drove me NUTS until I was alt least as before the surgery - I completely understand you. It was even more frustrating since my surgery was truly elective - dear Juney - you had to take out that mini fistula . It could have grown into real fistula and you don't even want to know how that surgery looks like - trust me : ((( !!!
When do you have your next app. ??? Maybe it is all just still swollen and inflamed and needs time to calm down. You know what I "prescribe" for that LOL - I know that I sound like some "medicine woman" from the deep prairie :chore: , but those herbs helped me TWO times and I don't know why nobody wants to even try them
I wish you ultra fast healing Juney :nevergive:

no i don't think it's a skin tag, it's definitely different looking. i just keep trying to tell myself i had to have the surgery, fissy. it is just so frustrating. i had such a great week right before surgery and now i feel like i'm worse off than before. :(

i just saw the dr on tues and he said i don't need to come back for 6 weeks. that seems like a long time to me when i'm not healing! he thinks i'm just being impatient or something. the more time that passes, the more angry i get at him. i really trusted him and thought this would be the solution, but i guess it's not his fault. i guess it's just my body and it doesn't want to heal.
what herbs do you "prescribe" for swelling and inflammation?? is that the chamomile you've talked about? i can't tell where the pain is coming from so i just slather vitamin e all over the outside. it feels the same as it always did so i'm assuming it's not healed inside.

Juney -
Has any of the doctors ever told you that you had hemmies? I am just wondering because I thought one of my old hemmies was a swollen scar and it was just a hemmie. I just thought I would let you know just in case...
I am praying for you! Try to listen to the doc and give it more time - I know how hard it is. Maybe you can make another appointment soon because you have been feeling so bad lately??
Jen

Dear Juney - it is frustrating - I completely understand. How long is it now since you had surgery ??? It is not VERY important since healing is so different for everybody but if you think that NO progress happened whatsoever in the past 4 weeks, than maybe you can ask for sec. opinion - never hurts to ask . I think that 6 weeks IS long period since you do not feel well and even if there is no reason to see him earlier in "his mind", you can always make app. according to YOUR preference. Don't forget that you are the customer and he is the contractor paid for his services - so you should treat him that way ! AND demand explanations - again - you payed for the surgery and he is responsible for "the product". Even if there is something wrong with your body it is HIS JOB to find out WHAT !
Regarding your questions about herbs - yes , it is chamomile tea and I also would add white oak tincture (about 2 droppers) and it helped me with inflammation after both surgeries. If you want detailed instructions, I would give them to you, I am kind of tired of writing them over and over again and nobody ever tries - know what I mean LOL ! I drink chamomile regularly anyways but during recovery I did apply as a compresses outside - really no need to go inside what so ever.
If you can go inside with your creams - than I would recommend mixing aloe gel , vit A+D cream, extra vit. A, some Nefidapne or Nitro (about 1 cm amount), and applying it outside and inside ! First take a soak, than put chamomile soaked cotton round on your butt - lay on your belly and read for 20 min, get up, apply cream mixture.
Now - you might ask why Nitro or Nif. - because they not only relax muscle - they cause vasodilatation (widening of capillaries) and help with circulation.
I hope that you will try those things and that it will speed up your healing If you do not see any improvement in 4 weeks with this regiment - I will declare my patent absolutely worthless for other people LOL , but really - nothing to loose
I really wish that you start healing already :( - it is just maddening !!!!

Juney
:lovetree: I feel so sorry for you
Don't give up
Corsica