Good luck Eric - yes I agree- we try our best and do whatever we can but at the end what "will be will be". It is normal to worry when we have condition that just don't want to quit despite all that we try. I do not think you have paranoia - you are just sick and tiered of it all and it drains the energy and time relentlessly. You suffered for such a long time - it is absolutely understandable and reasonable that you are looking for answers and causes of hindered healing in that place : (((.
Cheryl - my friend had CT and thanks God , the cancer did not pass through colon wall , not even into the lymph nodes, so that was great news - it did not spread although it involves big chunk of his colon and was growing for many years : ((. He will have surgery beginning of December which is going to be extensive.