oh yah cheryl - i'm on an anti-depressant. i don't think it's helping i still cry a lot, but i what can i except? i mean, i have a reason to be crying all the time, i guess i can't expect to just be numbed to the crapiness of this situation.
i've been trying vaseline before BM tabby. just the past 3 days. it doesn't seem to be helping b/c i still hurt all day afterward.
i'm just frustrated b/c how much time can i give this? it's been 2 1/2 years! i can't be much more patient, i want my life back. sighhhh.

Juney I ask about the vaseline because I was kindly sent some a&d from Tootie and I think it is very perfumery – pure vaseline isn’t and ideally it would act as a barrier to protect those cuts and help with that horrid burning
Hugs Juney to you

thanks for the hugs tabby :) i'll keep trying the vaseline

Juney,
Have you tried seeing a psychiatrist along with taking the A/D? The mental angst of having an AF or other type of butt issue can be so bad, and seeing a psychiatrist has really helped me along with taking the A/D. Just a suggestion.
I was quite put off by the idea initially, but now it doesn't bother me at all to talk about it. There is too much of a stigma about depresssion. My psychiatrist said depression is just as common as high bp, but a lot of people don't get treated for it. Since I have IBS, the mental component is important for me to get right. It is amazing the number of people who take A/D's, but don't talk openly about it. When I have talked about it to others, several of my friends and acquaintences have opened up about themselves as well!! I hope to eventually get off of the Lexapro, but for now it is helping. Hopefully, you can find someone soon that can help you.
Cheryl
:nevergive:

Juney -
I am glad everything went ok with your appointment and that you don't have any other issues besides your inflammed anus. I was thinking about you all day and hoping for the best!
I think it is comforting that your doctor has seen this before, even if it was only with one other patient. I know you won't have another surgery, and I don't blame you at all - 3 is enough - well one is enough to be honest with you. But, did he say that the other person healed after the surgery?
I hate how your doctor just brushed off the anuitis diagnosis. You know your malfunctioning butt better than anyone, even more so than those doctors. You may infact just have this problem and the OTC med you are getting will help out.
Did you stop the benefiber entirely? How much were you taking? I think I ask you that all the time. I am taking 2 tsp a day, one in the am and one in the pm. Things are going ok. Buttgirl told me this is the amount she takes. My stools are like mashed potatoes - maybe a little harder - I would like them more formed, but the doc said this was healthy, so I am just dealing with it like this for now I guess.
Jen

Juney
Theraphy is good!. I think having these fissure things destroys our lives and the pain sucks all the energy out of us. I think going in therapy helps us deal with this and in the end - when this nightmare is over - maybe we end up being stronger and more together than we would be without it.
It helps Juney, try to get a good therapist. If it's too much for you to start the process of getting one, ask your parents to help you. Being in bad shape mentally does not help the healing process either Juney...
Don't give up sweet girl
Corsica

Corsi,
We're on the same page. I found so many of the GI docs (and physician's assistants) just seemed to dismiss my concerns. I heard so many comments like, "You're my healthiest patient, I wish everyone's butt looked as good as yours, etc." yet still I was suffering mentally and physically. So, although I was highly insulted when he originally suggested that I take an A/D for my anxiety, I now feel that my Mayo GI doc was right on track with that suggestion last August when I saw him. It does our physical bodies no good to be worrying and anxious. But who could help not breaking into a cold sweat anticipating a bowel movement when experiencing pain so often while having one???? I think many docs cannot fully comprehend the mental suffering that goes along with a butt problem.
Corsi,
I hope you get relief soon from your butt issues. You have certainly had enough of that pain and blood. :loveclouds:

Dear Juney,im sad to know you are still in pain.youve gone through a lot and 3 surgeries is too much in that area.
Anusitis is the inflammation of the anal canal.Im not sure of anurex,so i wont be able to advice you on that.But i think its good to avoid all spicy and acidic foods.i think its better to stop steroid cream as it thins the skin and burns.its not recommended to use for more than 2 weeks.im surprised your doc told you to use it for 6 weeks.
This condition takes away a lot from us.even now im recovering mentally.I hope you will see an end to all of this soon.
Dont give up Juney.

thanks for all the support and concern guys. i've considered therapy, actually my mom's been the one to mention it most often. maybe seeing a therapist would help sort out my mental issues, but honestly if it would just get better i wouldn't be depressed! it's that simple. i know in the meantime i need someone to talk to, maybe they could at least help me with how i let this ruin my life.
jen - i completely stopped benefiber last week. my BMs were very formed for the first time in a loooong time. i feel the pulling sensation when i go (not so much ripping anymore), and a bit of the glass passing pain. i'm gonna go back to 1/2 tsp benefiber just to soften things up. it's a delicate balance as you know. my a**hole just always feels irritated and raw after i go to the bathroom. and it lasts all day. if i could just stop going! lol
it's not at all reassuring to me that the dr says he saw this once in 25 years of practice. in fact, that's more discouraging since he's ONLY seen it once. i absolutely will not have another surgery and even if it helped that one person (which i'm not even sure if it did), i doubt he had 3 prior anal surgeries. i already regret having so many surgeries in a short period of time, i seriously think that's compounded my problems and made me so unable to heal. i was just naive and stupid and trusted drs b/c i'd never had any reason not to. now i don't.

But what can we do? We have to trust doctors, and sadly some of them are downright incompetent, lack empathy, are arrogant, etc.
Some are good, but they seem to be few and far between...
Juney