i went to vegas last weekend and really let my guard down. i drank a ton of alcohol after being sober for 7 months. i managed to stay regular, going every morning, but on sunday after 3 nights of binge drinking i had a hard stool with a bit of blood in the toilet. this week has been difficult and i'm sure the weekend festivities are to blame. i've had hard stools even though my diet is still super healthy, lots of water, benefiber, exercise, etc. i've bled 5 of the last 7 days, including today. one day there was a long streak of bright red blood all the way down the stool. the other days there's just been a bit on the stool.
i'm hating myself for letting go after such a long time of being diligent and controlled. i just wanted to feel like i had some of my life back, but i guess i just need to avoid alcohol altogether b/c i can't stop once i start drinking. i'm discouraged and hoping i haven't set myself back completely. it's been 5 months since my fissurectomy. i've never felt like anything i do makes a difference, but i know last weekend made things worse. i'm scared and just need to vent i guess. i'm going to try my hardest to get back on track. please keep me in your thoughts.

Ahhhhhhhhh JUNEYYYYY !!!!!!
If I were any closer - I would spank your little butt REAL WELL !!! :pirate: But hey - we are all humans (unfortunately...) so I am sending you hug - what is done is done - if you learn something from your mistake than it was not total loss !
I am really worried dear Juney that you can not control your alcohol intake - did you talk about that with your canceler ?It is very serious problem and I hate that it can get out of control so easily for you - it is soooo dangerous in many ways for your body even if you were completely healthy -not to mention with fissure, and being on medications - you can mess up your liver and kidneys with just ONE wrong mix ... Why do you consider "binge" drinking - NORMAL life ??? It is not normal dear Juney - I hope you know that (sigh....).
Now just try to stay off alcohol and pamper you poor butt to the max so it will recover to where it was before this episode. I hope you will be kind to yourself and that your boyfriend and family will help you stay on the right track and discourage you from drinking ever : (((.
All the best :thinkofyou:

Juney -
I am so sorry this happened. After my LIS, I had a red streak that when all the way down my stool and it really scared me. So, I know what your going through. I have to ask - do you have blood or blood & PAIN???
Last summer, before LIS, I let me guard down too. I went out with like 5 old friends from high school and had like 5 glasses of wine. I NEVER drink, so you can imagine what kind of condition I was in. Needless to say, I had a killer headache the next day. Anyways, right before I went to bed I got scared and drank some MOM. My hang over BM poo was really runny & mushy - which is way better than a hard - dehydrated poo. If I ever let loose again - maybe at graduation in 5 months :) - I will do the same thing. I will take MOM. I know you are against taking MOM, but if you only took it ever few months when you had a cocktail or two, it won't hurt, in fact it may help.
Do you have any upcomming appointments? Whats your next course of action with your issue? Your in my thoughts and prayers Juney - you always are. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
Jen

Well, I can't blame you for wanting to kick back and forget things for awhile. I had a similar problem with alcohol so I have to avoid it because in my early 20s I would binge drink 4-5 nights a week. But of course you have a worse consequence than a hangover with butt problems.
I think it is a good sign that you could go to Vegas? You must have been feeling better? I would do what ever you need to do to keep things soft to make up for the damage. I know I had a lot of self-loathing when I did this because I knew better. I will be thinking about you and pray that you are okay, sweetie. I know this has been a terrible situation for you to deal with this extensive fissure problem.

Juney - how are you doing today ??? I hope bleeding is less and that your are not in too much of the pain :( . Take any kind of stool softener that will work for you now -you will get off it again once you feel better and you will - as you always did !!! Maybe this was just a reminder of how much better you actually got over time . I know you wish it never happened, but don't now beat yourself over the head - just don't do it again, even if you get a "butt of steal one day" - binge drinking can do you no good ever It is so unhealthy on so many levels and so hard to control when it is out of hand. Our very good friend had to take his daughter out of the University and bring her back home recently since she started doing that and he is devastated. Alcohol abuse brings suffering not only to the person who is using it but to everybody else around who truly cares : (((. I hope you know I write this since I do care and not because I love to "preach".
Please, leeeeaseeee take care of yourself !!!

Juney
Well sometimes it's OK to let your guards down and enjoy life too. I did that last summer when we went on holiday...I cannot describe the feeling I had going to a restaurant ordering normal food and drinking wine... My hubby encouraged me to do it too, he saw how much I enjoyed life and became the "old me" :) As he said, there's a mental side to this too.
If we are too strict - well that can be bad as well...at least in my head...
You were able to go to Vegas Juney and that was good for you? You will be OK again...How are you besides this last thing?
Corsica

Yes, it is just that there is a difference between a glass of wine and getting "wasted" (sigh....)

you guys are great! thank you.
i'm trying not to beat myself up but it's hard. i know i have a problem with binge drinking, i'm glad you identify too lecia. i started out binging in college at 18 and just developed bad habits with it that continued til i completely stopped last july. i was so proud of myself for stopping altogether and felt like it could only help my butt problems, so that's why i hate myself for being so weak in vegas. i was coming off a great feeling week too, during my period i had very little butt pain and felt like maybe i'd turned a corner, i guess that's why i let my guard down wayyy too much.
i've definitely improved in the past 5 months since surgery. i mean 2 or 3 months afterward i was still barely leaving the house and couldn't do anything for hours after a BM. now i'm running everyday, eating whatever i want, and just using 1/2 tbs of benefiber, as well as vaseline before every BM. i was still having pain, some weeks worse than others, but nothing worrisome like this past week.
there was blood yesterday again. i'm worried that i ripped a new fissure or reopened the scar tissue b/c i pushed harder than usual a few days this week. i'm so stupid!!!
i took 2 stool softeners last night and extra fiber and things were ok today, no blood at least. i'm using the hydrocortisone suppos. again and recta-gel to numb it, also taking 2 aleves instead of 1 every morning.
i don't have any appts coming up. the drs just say the same thing, they don't know what else can be done at this point. i've had the tests and ruled out more serious stuff, so i just have to live with it til it (hopefully) gets better. i'm going to try to manage it on my own once i get myself back on track.
thank you all for your kind words and encouragment. fissy - i'm definitely renewing my sober vows after this episode! i know it can only help my body/health all around.

juney wrote: now i'm running everyday, eating whatever i want, and just using 1/2 tbs of benefiber, as well as vaseline before every BM.

WOW Juney, you have come far!! Running....
This is just a small bump in the road, you know what to do to ease it

yes i'm glad i feel well enough to run now corsi! the pain has never gone, but there have been weeks when i barely even noticed it. my longest stretch was 2 weeks in the beginning of january...i thought it was gone but then suddenly reappeared again. running and exercising is also helping me from getting super depressed i think (in addition the the A/D). it's so hard to exercise with butt pain, but sometimes it seems to ease it and at least keeps the digestive tract working. :)