Today i was on my own with Jaz till her Granny took her to nursery for me (she is only in Mon,Tue full day and Wed afternoon as when i am working those are my hours) but i was in a state this morning, she wouldnt, as usual, do anything i asked or told her, she is into everything and has a habit of ignoring me, im sure this is normal but i get very stressed, i had to go for a BM and she followed me there (its hard to leave her alone aswell as anything could happen) but she was into all the soaps and such then threw a box of 200 cotton buds over the floor and i lost it, i screamed at her to get out and into her room, the poormite didn't know what hit her (i didnt physically hit her by the way!lol) as although i shout i have never been so upset as i was also trying not to cause myself pain , did not want her to see me showering myself down after or stick cream up my bum either, i mean come on two year olds will say anything to anybody and she is a very good talker. Anyway after done i was in alot of pain again where as i havent been since the op so i gave her a big cuddle and tried to explain why she needs to help me (ive been doing this since i got home but short term memory is no the word here!) then i took her to my bed to try and get her back to sleep so i could which is not fair but i was so sore and i will never recover if i dont rest but i burst into tears and she kept cuddling me and telling me "don't cwy mummy" , which of course made me cry more. Finally he fell asleep and me too and when we woke her granny was there but i CANT do it on my own and she is not in nursery tomorrow or Friday, my husband is at work all day, my mum lives in Perth and is on night shifts just now and hubbys mum actually has a 3 and 6 year old, my niece and nephew as they were taken away from their mum and dad as they are addicts so i cant keep asking her to help with jaz. I am never going to recover from this and im now starting to wonder if the op has worked, and to top it off i have a really gurgling sore tummy. What a moan but i dont know what to do, oh and i have no friends to look after her after as i have been abandoned since i went off work ill, times like these show you who are your true friends, mmmmmm seems i have none :(
Forgot to ad, i as maybe a few other have a pile or two due to my little angel and because its all relaxed there now and swelling what would you put on it to stop it drying out , i was thinking of a healing cream but dont know what, ive been using vit e cream today and sometimes Palmers Cocoa butter with Vit E, just doesn't feel right using such a lovely body cream up me ass. Still using the ditiazem or GTN at night and morning inside but should i be complimenting them.
And NG hows it going, you getting fed up waiting? xxxxxxxxxxxxx