I guess strategically, that thought of taking care of ourselves will have to do. That is after all the ultimate goal and what we want the most. If I can look at it as a step to getting better, then I think I can put up with it. I'm trying to contact the crs to find out if they'll give me a Valium or something - if not, then I'll either try some meditation or the whiskey!
I know what you mean about not feeling too attractive with the AF. I've been around the house mainly, wearing comfy house clothes! I found some leggings in my closet though, and wearing these make me feel good. Since I lost 10lbs, a shirt or two that used to be a little tight now fits, so I pull those out. Otherwise, I spent some of my time at home actually putting a bunch of old clothes in a bag to give away - a kind of cleansing process (but not a very strenuous one).
I think I am going to go do a little shopping on Thursday after work. I haven't been out by myself in months, and I might pick up some magazines (to buy some US magazines here in Sweden is kind of a treat) and maybe some cute "lying around in the house" outfit. Maybe a DVD to watch. How about you, want to do some pre-drs visit comfort preparation with me before our doctor's appointment?
Your husband sounds like a good guy, like mine. He's being so good while I have this.
I can't believe you've been living with your AF for 5 years... I'm sure that's part of why you feel fragile. You've had to think about it for so long. Doesn't it feel so much better to know all these people here, and go into this together? We can't stick our heads in the sand (or up our butts!), we're going to be brave and take care of this thing. Let's show our butts whose boss, for a change!
My bruises are still there, going away though, and I think they had actually been there for probably a month. I bruise easily, and always have. How I could have bruises there, but not bleed much from my butt is still a mystery to me though.
I have to do two enemas before the sigmoidoscopy - wahhhhh!

YES! Just called, and they'll give me some painkillers before hand. Whew....

Oh good, I'm so glad they'll dope you up :D And glad the bruises are fading away too. Enemas, barf! But I'm at the point where I'd do anything the surgeon told me to, and I bet you are too. It is definitely time to get brave.
Yeah, I've been lounging around in yoga pants and bathrobes and all sorts of schleppy hideous things whenever I can. I hate leaving the house at all right now.
I wish I could pamper myself a little more, but my three daughters are even more important than my stupid butt. My five year old is still in preschool so she's home most of the day. The older two are in school full time and man are they busy! It keeps me running which is probably good or I never would leave the house, and I'd spend all my time thinking about my butt.
Five years sounds like a long time to struggle with fissures, but the first four years, it flared up only very rarely after the initial occurrence. What brought it back with a vengeance was diarrhea from the stomach flu and wiping way too much that day. If I lived in a country with bidets, I probably wouldn't be in this situation. Toilet paper is evil incarnate. Might as well rub sandpaper on your ass, same results.
This forum is a total Godsend! It definitely helps me to feel less isolated. There aren't exactly anal fissure support groups at any of the local churches. For me, it's been a hard thing to talk about. But this forum has changed that. I couldn't even figure out what doctor to see for the longest time.
Even though my butt's been in reaallly bad shape for about a year now, I also had to wait because my sinuses were in even worse shape. I did that surgery last July, and I couldn't afford two surgeries in one year. This year, we planned for it, and I can pretty much afford unlimited ass surgery, as long as it's in-network. Bring it!

Your hilarious Alpine! Lol
I know what you mean about the clothes. I looked terrible during my fissure days. Most of my clothes were falling off of me. I lost 50 lbs. It was terrible. I think I got my hair done once in the 8 months I had it.
I was so glad to find this forum too. It really helped to have others to talk to! I felt like a freak of nature,Lol

ha - my hair has gone 6 months now, and I was thinking that I really have to get it cut.
Yes, having young kids really adds a whole different dimension to having butt problems. I don't have kids, and only have to worry about myself during the day. So, more power to you sisters, for taking care of children at the same time as you have such pain in the butt!
It is good to have this forum and be able to talk so freely about butt issues. I have to remind myself not to talk this way with my husband too much... I mean, it's perfectly natural to do this here, it feels, among those of us who can identify... but I realize it starts to be Too Much Information, even for him. Yes, you know the dinner conversations, where he talks about the day at the office, and you talk about the latest sensations in your butt.
However, I've never taken so many baths in my life... I might be lounging around in PJs, but I am so clean...!

Oh yes, the last time I bothered to get my hair cut was in September, I think. Must. Get. Through. This.

Well I just found out I have to do an enema before my appointment too--WTH? I asked what are they planning on doing and the nurse was like--oh, just an exam.
I wonder if they're being straight with me? Is an enema really necessary if they're just going to use an anoscope?
I don't even feel like a human being anymore.

Umm, I never had an enema with an anoscope exam. In fact, when I called the CRS about getting pain medication before the sigmoidoscopy, she said "Oh, you're probably going to have a hard time with the enema then, huh? Just do the best you can. Try to do at least one, but if you can't, you can't. You just get a better result if you can."
So... I would guess they are thinking they will just get a reallly nice clean unobstructed view... However, I've had two anoscopes without ANY preparation, and they could see the fissures.
I would maybe call her back - and tell her it's difficult for you... What do you think?
I bought my enema today - I'll give it a go. I can understand it more with a sigmoidoscopy though...

Of course you could always say "Oh, I had to poop when I got here! Sorry!"
Seriously though - I would call them back. Sometimes they just don't think... My GP wanted to see me for another anoscope exam before she prescribed rectogesic, and I said "Do I have to?", to which she said "I guess not." Sometime it helps to communicate the pain that you are in and what you don't want them to cause you unnecessarily. Probably they've never had a fissure.