Thanks for your responses, Bambi and Val!
Bambi, I'm glad to see you're hanging in there. How's your husband? I just haven't been around here as much to keep tabs on everyone. You were always so insightful and such a help to me when I was going through my miserable time. And it seems like we're both a little slow at healing, but we're healing nonetheless.
A year ago I felt like these fissures were an insurmountable obstacle in my life. I thought a normal butt was a fairy-tale existence that I couldn't have, ever again. And while it may not be perfect now, I'm not going to complain about it...I just related my retear experience to be honest, like a reporter stating the facts: I retore. But it healed. Really fast. Barely a blip on my radar at this point. I hope my honesty doesn't discourage anyone from getting the surgery, because I am so much better off than I was before that surgery--that's how I know I'm healing, despite the setback.
I don't want or deserve to complain when I see others going through so much worse.
And in news unrelated to butts--though I should probably post it in the off-topic forum--it looks like we are going to be moving soon, back to Indiana. It's a little scary to move another hour away from the fabulous CRS who fixed me, but I guess even two hours isn't too far to drive if I needed him again. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the move. But my husband has a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity so we just have to go--it means a more stable financial situation along with a better retirement for him--what family of five couldn't use that? We'll be moving back to his hometown, where we're eventually inheriting half the family farm anyway, so it makes sense to be there. The main drawback is that the schools aren't as great as they are here, and ditto the extracurricular stuff. I worry about my kids a lot, but I guess there's a lot of gray area sometimes when deciding what's best for your family.
At any rate, I'm thankful that my rear is (hopefully) up to the physical task of moving. Attempting to shift boxes with an active fissure sucks.
Love to all!